How to Hack Your Weekend

We’re all tired once the workday ends on Friday. All we want to do is go home and get our weekend started, forgetting about what we need to do at teh office until we return on Monday.

But how often do we have a weekend where we are free to do what we want – and not what we need to do?

Think about it. You get home on a Friday night, sit down to have some dinner and then chill out for the rest of the evening. Then you get up the next day and there’s chores to do, errands to run and more of that kind of stuff that breaks up your weekend into smaller bits, never really getting a moment to revel in the time you have off.

I think it’s high time we star to hack our weekend. And here’s how you can do it.

Make Friday really busy. Go grocery shopping before you come home from work – even if that means that on Fridays you either eat a late dinner or go out to eat. Get the stuff out of the way that you know needs to be taken care of (and has no set time when you have to do so) before you settle in at home for the night.

You’re giving yourself – and your weekend – a real headstart that way.

When you do get home, put some of the laundry in, preferably items that can sit overnight in the dryer just in case you either can’t – or don’t want to – get to them before bedtime.

If it’s early enough, start with the clothes that you know you’ll see through to completion, but make towels and bedding the stuff you do last. You can also let some of the permanent press clothes hang dry (make sure they’re only slightly damp, though) overnight and let nature do its thing while you sleep.

If you have errands to run or appointments to take care of on Saturday or Sunday, limit the blocks of time you’re willing to commit to those. That may mean that mornings on both days are when you take care of any of that stuff that works for you (or your family, if you have one).

Either way, schedule time blocks and stick to them for these kinds of things so that you can better revel in the nothingness your body and mind needs while you’re off work for a couple of days.

While Fridays are the days where you stay out to get certain things done, make the rest of your work week evenings the time when you get the chores around the house taken care of.

Sure, things like mowing the lawn and gardening may not be practical for these moments, but cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming and indoor chores are more than possible tasks that you can do before hitting the sack on weekdays – rather than sitting in front of the television like a sack instead.

One of the best ways you can hack your weekend is to actually get out of town during it. That way you’re not distracted by what you’re normally surrounded by, but can be in an environment that will allow you to better enjoy the weekend.

And it doesn’t have to be limited to summer activities, either. Any simple getaway can be handled with proper planning – land that planning can be done during those scheduled time blocks I mentioned earlier. Getting away while you can is a phenomenal way to prepare yourself for when you return to work on Monday.

Unless you start your work week on a Sunday, that is.

(Photo credit: Wood Chopper on the Stub via Shutterstock)

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Simple Ways To Wake Up Ready to Face Your Day

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Inside Broadmoor

Broadmoor Hospital is one of the highest security psychiatric hospitals in the UK and it has made a series of videos that describe what goes on behind their very high walls.

Broadmoor is possibly one of the most famous or infamous hospitals in Britain – largely due to being featured in outraged media stories about ‘sick killers’.

Case in point – a typical article from the pun-obsessed UK tabloid The Sun: “Resident Wii-vil: Serial killers including the Yorkshire Ripper are enjoying £5,000 of Nintendo Wii gaming at taxpayers’ expense”).

What most of the papers miss (or ignore) is that Broadmoor is not a prison but a hospital that treats patients with severe mental disorders who became dangerous when ill.

This means it often receives patients from court cases where people with mental illness are tried for murder or violence. The verdict may be the equivalent of ‘not guilty by reason of insanity’ with the patient remitted to hospital, or ‘guilty’ (meaning that the person was mentally competent when they committed the crime) with high security hospital treatment still required because mental illness increases the chance of violence.

Due to popular stereotypes and, it has to be said, its somewhat Gothic architecture (it was founded in 1863), it lives with a sort of Arkham Asylum image that is a long way from its actual work.

The videos do a great job of communicating the reality of Broadmoor Hospital and the practice of forensic mental health.

Sometimes striking, sometimes mundane and consistently interesting.

Link to a video tour of Broadmoor Hospital (via @DrPetra).

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The hot Gosling effect

A bizarre and funny tumblr called Neuroscientist Ryan Gosling that has nothing but pictures of Ryan Gosling making hot neuroscience innuendos.

It was bound to happen eventually.

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Romantic Meals for One: 5 Quick Toaster Oven Recipes

Are you facing a Valentine’s Day alone? Feeling left out because the most romantic meals for the day are geared for, well…two?

Well, if you are dining solo for the day and you have a toaster oven…never fear, we have some delicious treats you can cook up in flash. These are guaranteed tasty treats, and the bonus is there’s no leftovers to taunt you from the dark corners of the fridge the next day!

 1 salmon fillet, approx 6 ounces2-3 Tablespoons panko crumbs1 teaspoon finely chopped chives1 teaspoon finely chopped parsleyFinely grated lemon zest of 1/2 lemon (optional)1 Tablespoon olive oil1 Tablespoon mayonnaisesalt and pepper

Toaster oven setting: 425 degrees

Salt and pepper both sides of the salmon fillet. Lightly grease the baking sheet for your toaster oven.

Place the salmon fillet on the baking sheet and brush with the mayonnaise, so the entire fillet is lightly coated.

Mix the panko crumbs, chives, parsley, lemon and olive oil in a small bowl. Mix well and pat the crumbs evenly over the top of the salmon fillet.

Bake at 425 degrees for 10 minutes until the salmon is medium-rare.

Serve with a tossed green salad.

2 eggs1/2 cup finely julienned zucchini (about 1/2 small zucchini)2 Tablespoons finely sliced roasted red pepper1 small garlic clove, minced (optional)2 tablespoons shredded Parmesan cheese (or 1 tablespoon grated)1/2 teaspoon herbs de provence (or thyme)Pinch of salt and pepper

Toaster oven setting: 400 degrees

Crack the eggs into a small bowl, mix well with a small whisk or a fork.

Pour the mixture into an oiled small cast iron skillet (6” across), or a creme brulee dish.

Bake for 8-10 minutes until the frittata is just set in the centre.

1 dozen large prawns1 large clove garlic, minced1 tablespoon olive oilFreshly grated zest of 1/2 lemon

Toaster oven setting: 450 degrees

Peel and devein the prawns, if not done already.

Toss the prawns in a small bowl with the olive oil, salt, pepper, lemon zest and garlic. Let sit 30 minutes to allow the garlic to absorb the flavours. Place the prawns on the toaster oven baking sheet. Roast until pink and just beginning to firm up, about 5-6 minutes.

Serve with roasted sweet potato and a tossed green salad.

1 small sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1/2” dice (approximately 1 cup)1/2 small onion, cut into 1/2” dice (approx 1/4 cup)Salt and pepper1 tablespoon olive oil

Toaster oven setting: 400 degrees

In a small bowl, toss the sweet potato with the onion, salt and pepper and olive oil.

Place the sweet potato on the toaster oven baking sheet, and bake for 25-30 minutes, until the sweet potato is soft.

1/2 cup fresh berries – slice strawberries, raspberries or1/4 cup marscapone cheese1-2 Tablespoons heavy cream1 Tablespoon Marsala wine (or brandy)1 teaspoon turbinado sugar (or light brown sugar)

Toaster oven setting: Broil

Arrange the fresh berries in a gratinee dish (or a shallow heat-proof bowl).

In a small bowl, mix together the marscapone cheese with the heavy cream and Marsala until smooth and spoonable. Spoon the marscapone cheese mixture over the fresh berries, and sprinkle the turbinado sugar evenly over the top.

Broil until lightly browned and bubbling on the top, about 2 minutes.

I suggest whipping a couple of these up, and enjoying over a good movie. My picks? Something along the lines of “Snatch”. Or if you are looking for a love story with a twist, try “Delicatessen”. (Just wait until after you’ve eaten to hit “play” on this one…)

(Photo credit: A frozen pizza heats in the oven via Shutterstock)

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The Little Successes Do Add Up

When you look at a set of building blocks, you might notice that each block on its own does not really amount to much.

But when a whole bunch of building blocks are put together, suddenly they form something much more interesting and significant. This is the same with what happens to our own lives as well.

Too often, we all get a little down if we feel that we have not achieved any of our big goals we set for ourselves. We may see our lives filled with failures. But in reality, we probably have achieved much more than we thought. So to help you realize this more, I have an exercise that helps you put things into much better perspective.

It involves taking a look at all areas of your life during the past year — or any other time period you want to consider. Look at everything from:

Your healthYour careerWhat is happening in your home lifeWhat hobbies you participated in during this time periodEssentially…pretty much everything

Now write down on a piece of paper all the successes that you had in all areas of your life — not just the financial ones or those connected to your career — which are often the first ones many people think about. Write down all little successes, no matter how insignificant they might seem at first. This is very important as you will see.

It might take some time to come up with a list of successes…especially the little ones that you might not even realize right away.

Just to give you some examples, here are some of the successes of various scales that I came up with for myself in the last couple of months.

Presented some talks to interesting audiences including a military baseLaunched an instructional program on dog litter box trainingGot the weights of both of my dogs down to acceptable healthy levelsKept up my martial arts routines for fun and fitnessMinimized eating out for lunch and coffeesGot back all the guitar playing skills I previously had years agoHad another great annual medical check up with my doctorDeveloped new keynote for business sales audiencesImproved my short radius turns in snow skiingBecame a regular contributor to LifehackFinally got a new car to replace my dying 1997 Eagle Talon

What you will find after such an exercise is that you probably took a lot of your little achievements for granted. When you do acknowledge them, these little successes really do add up.

Take my little success of minimizing eating out. Each lunch or coffee on its own doesn’t amount to much but if you consider cutting down such expenses over six months or an entire year, the savings can be quite significant.

This would be the same for people who want to lose weight. Losing one to three pounds per week might not seem a lot, but doing this consistently over time will result in a big and healthy weight loss success. The little drops in weight each week certainly add up.

We should never forget about our past successes no matter how small they initially seem. This exercise will hopefully shows that you perhaps did not do as bad as you think you did. Again, this really gives you a different perspective on things.

It also shows which areas you may have to work on for better balance of the different areas of your life.  You can then build upon these little successes for the goals (or New Year resolutions) you set for this year.

Feel free to share below some of the little successes you had that you may have forgotten about.

(Photo credit: Building Blocks via Shutterstock)

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Love Hack: How to Make Valentine’s Day Last All Year Long

I’m going to cut to the chase here. Why should Valentine’s Day be the only day where you show your significant other how much you love and care for them? Why shouldn’t you do it each and every day of the year – making sure you take a little time to remind them of how much they mean to you?

There’s really no reason why you can’t make every day Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t take too much effort, and by getting started today with a rotuine that you can carry throughout the year, you’ll find that the momentum of the day can – and will – last all year long.

Here are just a few of the little things you can do to make February 14th last far longer than just 24 hours:

When you wake up in the morning, let them know you’re happy to see them or hear their voice. Before you go to bed, remind them that once more. There’s nothing quite like reminded how special you are to start and end your day. And it takes just a little bit of awareness to make such a huge difference in someone’s life. Why shouldn’t that difference be made for that special someone in your life?

Again, something that takes very little to make happen but can mean so much to the recipient. A hug reinforces that physical connection you have with your partner, and it can linger all day long. Whether your partner needs a hug to lift their spirits or just as a gesture of how much you care about them, a hug is one of the best ways you can make that Valentine’s Day feeling last all year long.

Things like writing a love note in their lunch kit or sending an email that lets them know you’re thinking of them is a simple gesture that can go a long way. Keep some Post-It notes in a kitchen drawer along with pens of different colours so you’ve got them at the ready, and bookmark an eCard service in your Internet browser so that should the moment strike you, you can quickly send off a message to your sweetheart.

Whether those words are “I love you” or “You’re the best”, it really doesn’t matter. Sometimes it’s just great to hear them, especially if they seem to appear out of the blue. By starting to “ritualize” this sort of thing, you’re setting yourself up for a long-lasting habit that will level up your love life and keep the home fires burning throughout the year.

Taking the time to journal how you feel is an important way to not only express how you feel about someone, but to foster expressing those feelings to them on a daily basis. It’s in those moments of capturing your thoughts in a journal of some sort that the gratitude really resonates, giving you further fuel to make sure that Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day where you let your love one know how much they mean to you.

As you can see, there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t make Valentine’s Day last the whole year through. You just need to take the time to make it happen. You’d be surprised as to how much your productivity and zest for life will increase by showing those you love how much they mean to you more than just one day per year.

(Photo credit: A happy couple in love with painted smiley and hugging via Shutterstock)

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Love Hack: How to Show Your Gadgets Some Valentine’s Day Love

You know, just because our laptops, desktops, tablets, and phones are inanimate objects, doesn’t mean we can’t show them some love this Valentine’s Day. Rather than do too much for your human beloved, spend some quality time with the gadgets that you hold dear.

Devices now-a-days are pretty darn robust. Even ones that use Windows (holds for laughter). Regardless, you can show your devices and OS’s some love by doing some maintenance to them.

For desktops/laptops check to see if the items that are running at startup are needed as too many of them could potentially slow you down.

For Windows click Start > type msconfig and hit enter > click on the Startup tab > uncheck stuff you don’t want and restart.For Mac click on System Preferences > click Users and Groups > under your user profile click Login Items > adjust them there.

You can also defragment your hard drive with tools like Defraggler (the same company that makes the awesome cleanup app CCleaner) for Windows and iDefrag for Mac. You don’t really need to defragment a Mac as Apple has created routines in the background of OS X to take care of this, but every so often won’t hurt.

Phones and tablets don’t require as much maintenance, but it can’t hurt to offload some pictures and videos, remove unneeded and unwanted apps, restart your OS every few days, and even give a good cleaning to those nasty touch screens.

After you have deleted some of those apps from you device, how about get some more that you really like? I mean, you love your device enough don’t you? We talk a lot about tools around here and there are some great ones for Windows, Mac, Android, iOS, and others. Here are some of the best that work on almost all platforms:

Evernote – I think we have told you enough. Just go get it.Toodledo – Great web, iOS, and mobile app for getting things done.Remember The Milk – Another favorite that has a great iOS and Android counterpart to the web app.AwayFind- This could easily help keep you out of your inbox, essentially giving your devices a much needed email break.Dropbox syncing text editing app – There are some good ones including, Elements (iOS), Notesey (iOS), Epistle (Android), Notational Velocity (Mac), WriteMonkey (Windows), MyNotes (Android).Mindmapping – MindManager (Mac, Windows), iThoughts (iOS), MindNode (Mac), Mindjet (Android, iPhone, iPad).

There is nothing worse than a device that is lacking organization of files and programs. Of course, there are a host of new ways to not have to worry about organizing your devices files because of smarter and faster search utilities (like LaunchBar for Mac or SkyLight for Windows), but it’s always good to have some method to your madness.

One good role of thumb is to have a folder in your ‘Documents’ folder for each Area of Focus in your life. One for personal, professional, side projects and businesses, your blog, etc. Inside of these folders you can take the focus even deeper, like finances, receipts (for bills and such), articles, TPS reports, etc.

Also, try to treat your desktop like a real desktop. Keep things that you are actively working on or need reminded of on your desktop and use efficient folder hierarchies and search for everything else.

When it comes to your tablet and phone types of devices you are somewhat limited to the organization of files and placement of things on the desktop (that is of course if you are not on Android). Try to organize your apps in a natural way that you use them, like all of the important ones “docked” to the bottom of the screen (Android and iOS both support this). Then you could even organize your apps in folders like Entertainment, Games, Productivity, Photography, etc. Just remember to try to give everything its own place.

I’m a bit of a “all natural” kind of guy, not having too much excess added to my devices like cases and contraptions. But, there are some great additions that can be added to your beloved like new bluetooth keyboards, a pair of quality headphones (I can’t recommend Sennheiser HD 280 Pros or Klipsch Image S4 enough), or even a nice new bag for your laptop and gear.

A cheap way to show your devices some love is to purchase chargers for home, the car, and, your bag, and the office so you don’t get close to running out of juice throughout the day.

It isn’t hard to show your lovely gadgets true love this Valentine’s Day. But, keep in mind; you should follow our other Love Hacks before treating your gadget better than your significant others.

(Photo credit: Smartphone and love hearts via Shutterstock)

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The Lifehack Letter: A New Addition to the Stepcase Lifehack Family

We here at Lifehack love to bring you fresh and helpful content on productivity, lifestyle, and technology everyday of the week. But there are sometimes that we want to bring our diehard readers content, ebooks, and offers that they can’t find anywhere else. This is where The Lifehack Letter comes in; Stepcase Lifehack’s new reader newsletter.

We don’t know if you missed it on Monday morning, but we are partnering up with SaveUp.com, an awesome site that encourages you to save and pay down debt by hooking you up with prizes, to give any new Lifehack Letter subscriber a special chance to win $500! That means only readers that sign up for our reader newsletter will have access to a special signup link for SaveUp that gives them access to the $500 giveaway.

And we are just getting started.

After becoming a subscriber to The Lifehack Letter we will inform you of special offers on productivity software and tools, give you access to special giveaways, bring you exclusive content from hand-picked contributors, and more. You will receive emails from us no more than twice monthly. By the way, we will never sell or spam your email address. We like you too much for that.

If this sounds like something you want to be apart of, head on over to the signup form where, after verifying your email, you will gain access to our first giveaway with SaveUp!

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Violence and delusional pets

I’ve just read a striking article recounting cases of violence associated with delusions about household pets. Although the academic paper is locked, a copy is available online as a pdf.

The curious study was published in a 1987 edition of Behavioral Sciences and the Law and includes three extended case studies of defendants charged with aggressive crimes who had “psychotic perceptions and delusions involving their pet animals”.

Several weeks before the alleged killing, Mr. A’s cat appeared to be pregnant, so he made a nesting box for it. He said his wife disliked his cat because of its grey color. One day Mr. A dropped a jar of molasses, thereby spilling the contents. He lamented to himself that he no longer had control over picking up and holding objects. Upon seeing the cat’s strange green eyes, he concluded that voodoo was being perpetrated against him through the cat as a medium, and the cat was therefore responsible for his loss of control. It occurred to him that Cleopatra and the ancient Egyptians were surrounded by cats. He associated cats with the ancient past and evil spirits. He decided to shoot the cat in order to “break the spell” against him. However, killing his cat failed to dispel his sense of being fragmented and persecuted.

From the time he shot his cat until his wife was mortally shot several days later, Mr. A’s psychosis worsened; his thinking became more disorganized and lacking in reality adherence. Time seemed to have stopped. He perceived a striking deterioration in his wife’s appearance. “She looked so grey (her criticism of the cat), like a craven image… she looked sick.”

The author notes that the first description of this phenomenon was actually in the Edgar Allen Poe short story The Black Cat where the narrator develops delusions about his cat and eventually kills his wife.

Many thanks to Keith Laws for finding this unusual footnote in the forensic psychiatry literature.

pdf of article on violence and pet delusions (via @Keith_Laws)
Link to locked academic paper in journal.

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Before you hit the ground there’s a moment of bliss

I’ve just found this amazing bluesy hip hop track by George Watsky and the GetBand about having an epileptic seizure in front of a girl you’re trying to impress.

As well as being an astute observation of the experience of seizure it’s defiant, fast and funny and Watsky just rolls through the rhymes.

You don’t remember how the hell you ended up indoors
You don’t remember whether you were wetting your gym shorts
in front of Amanda, the girl you’re after
who already thought you were a fucking disaster
It’s not like a last will, it’s making me laugh
unless you get your next one while you’re taking a bath
I’m seizing the mic fast at middle school dances
I’m done being seized and I’m seizing my chances

Watsky notes on the video page that the track recounts the experience that led to him being diagnosed with juvenile epilepsy in 7th grade.

By the way, I found the video on the fantastic Art of Epilepsy blog that keeps track of epilepsy in music videos, film art and literature.

Link to video for Seizure Boy on YouTube.
Link to The Art of Epilepsy blog.

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2×4: An Interview with Ev Bogue

2×4: One series that examines two topics, creativity and productivity, by asking those who make things on the web the same four questions on both subjects.

Right after submitting his answers, former 2×4 participant, CJ Chilvers joked that he wished he had gone the Steve Jobs route and given one word answers. Ironically, this was followed by my receiving exactly that (well at least for the first question) from today’s participant, Ev Bogue. Answers to subsequent questions were also nearly as short, sweet and to the point.

I won’t lie to you…for an instant there, I was surprised. But then I realized that the exact nature of the answers is exactly why I asked Ev to participate.

Ev is direct, clear and to the point. You can see that in his regularly email newsletter, you can see that in his posts on Google+. He’s also not a fan of the superfluous. He sheds the unnecessary even when it comes to things like a thriving blog and an active Tweet stream. Ev clearly puts as much, if not more time into choosing what he does as he does actually doing them. His words, as you will see below, are also as carefully chosen as his actions.

I could go on, but I doubt that would be in the spirit of today’s guest, so without further ado, here’s an inside look at Ev Bogue.

Have you always considered yourself a creative person?

Yes.

What mediums and inspirations do you gravitate toward to realize your creative goals?

Right now I’ve been experimenting with writing for inboxes, and publishing to Google+.

If you had to point to one thing, what specific posts or creations are you most proud of and why?

I’m the most proud of working towards telling from experience this year. As a writer, this has strengthened how my work lands with my readers.

Any suggestions for those who feel they may not be creative enough to unlock their inner artist?

Show up every day. Be honest. Ask permission to contact people who are interested in your work.

Can you describe your current personal and professional responsibilities?

I write every single day to a group of readers who are interested in what I write.

How do you go about balancing the personal, professional and digital?

I don’t balance anything. I’m 100% invested in my work as a writer online. I’ve tried to take time off, but I don’t know what to do with myself.

What tools and techniques do you find yourself counting on to get through your workload?

I write with an 11” Macbook Air. I write in Scrivener. I deliver my work via Mailchimp. I connect with my readers through Gmail and using Google+.

What is the best starting point for the unproductive amongst us, who are looking to get more organized?

Hit publish on the work you’re compelled to do every single day.

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Have you visited Inside Out Project lately?

Since the Inside Out Project launched last year at TED, more than 70,000 individual photos have been shot and pasted in almost 9,000 locations around the world, sharing a vision of individual identity for the world to see. To house this astonishing collection of portraits online from around the world, Inside Out recently revamped their website — insideoutproject.net — so you can explore and browse the gallery and sign up to take part in a portrait pasting of your own.

Visit insideoutproject.net >>

Plus! While staying in Southern California last spring to work on the TED Prize, JR also started up a beautiful mural project called “Wrinkles of the City” — celebrating the lives of older people in youth-obsessed LA. Now you can watch a short film about the project, with powerful stories and images:

Watch “Wrinkles of the City” >>

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Paulo Coelho: How I Write

Paulo Coelho (Photo: Philip Volsem)

Paulo Coelho has long been one of my writing inspirations.

His work, of near universal appeal, spans from The Alchemist to the most recent Aleph and has been translated into more than 70 languages.

Few people know that The Alchemist, which has sold more than 65 million copies worldwide, was originally published by a small Brazilian publisher to the tune of… 900 copies. They declined to reprint it. It wasn’t until after his subsequent novel (Brida) that The Alchemist was revived and took off.

I, for one, have always been impressed with consistent writers. Paulo, who averages one book every two years, is staggeringly consistent. As I type this, I am under the pressure of book deadlines and often feel as Kurt Vonnegut did: “When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.”

My output is erratic at best, and I wondered: how does Paulo write? What is his process? How does he think about it?

I reached out to him, and he was kind enough to reply with the attached/linked audio. In it, he provides some gems and answers the following questions, which I posed to him (I provide my own abbreviated answers in brackets):

- When on deadline, what is the first thing you do in the morning? What does your daily schedule look like? Do you take any days off, and what determines if you’ve had a “successful” writing day?

[TIM: 2-3 hours of fasted writing in the morning to Mozart and pu-ehr tea. Success is two shitty pages of drafts.]

- How do you capture ideas that might be helpful in your writing? These days, what software and tools do you use for writing?

[TIM: Evernote, Moleskine notebooks]

- How much of your books do you visualize/outline upfront vs. writing organically piece-by-piece? In other words, how much of the story arc have you decided before you start writing? Let’s take two books as examples — The Alchemist and Aleph. Otherwise, how did your process differ for these two books?

[TIM: Though it changes as I write, I outline everything before starting. I suspect organic writing is more common in fiction.]

- What are the most common mistakes that you see first-time novelists making? Most common weaknesses?

[TIM: NA]

- Do you base your characters on real people? Why or why not? If not, how do you develop those characters?

[TIM: NA]

- What are the 2-3 things you personally find most invigorating or helpful when you’re stuck or feel stagnated with writing/ideas? Do you have a team of any type (researchers, etc.) who help you?

[TIM: Rereading Bird by Bird when I doubt/loathe/chastise myself, deadlifting, and doing sprint workouts.]

Tim Ferriss – Paulo Coelho by Tim Ferriss

Paulo offered a few additional notes and resources further exploration:

As for the sentence in Alice in Wonderland: “Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

Three podcasts on his writing process:

1) On writing I http://youtu.be/vKBOKLF3Ul8
2) On writing II – the puzzle http://youtu.be/3_TJ4MIGeg8
3) Inspiration http://youtu.be/VWRmbSgS2Yw

For more musings, see Paulo’s Facebook fan page, with almost 8,000,000 fans (!)

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If you write, what have you found most helpful for the first and last questions? Here they are, and I’d love your thoughts in the comments:

- When on deadline, what is the first thing you do in the morning? What does your daily schedule look like? Do you take any days off, and what determines if you’ve had a “successful” writing day?

- What are the 2-3 things you personally find most invigorating or helpful when you’re stuck or feel stagnated with writing/ideas? Do you have a team of any type (researchers, etc.) who help you?

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Odds and Ends: Shorty Awards
A few readers have kindly nominated me to win the “blogger” category for The Shorty Awards. I figure, if I’m in the game, I might as well try and win it! If you like this blog (300+ posts since 2007), please consider taking a second to vote for me here. Thank you!

Posted on February 15th, 2012

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How to Get Organized in Spite of Yourself

“He who knows others is wise, he who knows himself is enlightened” – Lao Tzu

One of the first steps in change is awareness — understanding how and why you do things the way you do.

But why is it important to know yourself?

Awareness of self…empowers.

It creates space and understanding for decisions to be made. Decisions on how to move forward or decisions on how to change. Self-awareness gives us a starting point, a place to work from.

In Sunny Schlenger and Roberta Roesch’s book “How to be organized in spite of yourself”, they explain that everybody can be identified by a different operational style and knowing what your personal style is can be a good starting place if you feel the need to organize your work life.

In the book, people are classified by the following Time Styles:

Hopper: A person who generally has many projects on the go at once and likes to works on all simultaneously. They constantly jump from task to task without finishing any of them.

Perfectionist Plus: The Perfectionist Plus gets so involved in their projects and believe they can do everything right that they rarely finish a project on time. Even when they do finish a job, they are usually dissatisfied with the outcome.

Allergic to Detail: They would much rather formulate the plans than carry them out. This type is very weak on follow through.

Fence Sitter: The Fence Sitter leaves most things to chance because they are incapable to making a decision and worry whether their decisions will be the correct ones.

Cliff Hanger: These people thrive on excitement, delay everything to the last minute and usually need a deadline to complete anything.

Identify your own style. When I identified myself and my style of working, I realized that it wasn’t so much a character flaw as I had previously believed, but a recognizable style that probably one-fifth of the population of the world share with me. Knowing this allowed me to (firstly) not be so hard on myself but it also put me in a position of power to allow me to learn to work with it.

Here are a few tips to help you work better with your each style

Hopper:Slow down. Eliminate distractions and interruptions.Do high priority tasks when you have most energy. Break projects down into mini-goals.

Perfectionist Plus: Identify and focus on your highest priorities. Anything else does not need high attention to detail. Learn to say “no” and to delegate.

Allergic to detail: Create simple, basic routines, set reminders, break up tasks into smaller goals, and schedule tasks.

Fence Sitter: Understand that there really are no bad decisions. Break down decisions into small steps, pinpoint your fears, and get familiar with your gut feeling.

Cliff Hanger: Schedule time for tasks. Become aware of how long they really take, check your to-do list regularly to ensure you are not procrastinating on important tasks.

Another important factor is to see how you currently spend your time. We all work hard — we spend many hours each day on tasks and projects that need to be done.

But are there tasks that could be eliminated?

Are we perhaps spending too much time on certain jobs? Identifying how you spend each moment of the day can be very enlightening.

When the end of the work day comes and you think you know how the day was spent, do you remember that you spent twenty minutes chatting to your work colleagues about the football game or the fact that you spent thirty minutes on social media? What about the time spent at two meetings that didn’t really affect your job? Could you have read the meeting minutes rather than attend it personally?

Analyzing how the hours of each day were spent will allow you to make better decisions about your time going forward.

This can be done by using a paper time sheet where you detail all of the things that you spent time on during the day or you can download an electronic time-sheet from the Internet that will monitor all that you do on your computer during the day.

When you discover more about your personal style and how you currently spend your time you will be in a more powerful position to make more informed decisions about how you can work at your best.

As for my style, it turns out that I am both a Hopper and Allergic to Detail. Confusion, disorder, chaos, disarray were all words that described me in the past. Getting organized has been life-changing for me. It has been the facilitator of my personal success — and believe me when I say that if I can do it, anyone can!

(Photo credit: Document folders sorted via Shutterstock)

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Why To-Do Lists Don’t Work and Done Lists Do

If you’re only using a to-do list, there’s a good chance you’re making yourself less productive. It’s something that took me quite a while to understand.  There’s a simple but breathtakingly powerful fix to your to-do list — keep a done list.

By changing from listing the things that you are going to do, to writing down the things that you have done, my life has become a lot easier. Done lists give perspective to your to-dos and it motivates you to keep making progress, every day, until it’s Done.

The checklist format doesn’t work for projects and tasks that are open-ended. Plus, items and tasks can evolve or become obsolete by the time you hit lunchtime, and by the end of the day, your to-do list can look a totally foreign being compared to what actually needs to get done.

It’s too easy to get that smaller thing crossed off first. There are no commitment devices to firmly turn your resolve to the most important tasks rather than the simple ones. When smaller things are too easy to get done, smaller, less important things are all you will get done.

To-do lists also lead you away from motivation and control. The very pressure that can have such a positive impact in keeping you from the deep-end of lost time can just as much feel like nagging, leading to feelings of guilt and frustration rather than motivation and inspiration. Sometimes it feels like the list controls you, you don’t control the list.

The answer isn’t to get rid of to-do lists altogether but to remember that a to-do list is the beginning of the journey through Doing to Done. How do you get to done? Use a Done List, the yang to the yin of the to-do list.

The to-do list can motivate you by directing you to just put one foot in front of the other. The done list motivates you to keep walking in the first place because you’ve got all that “how-feet-work” business down. The done list’s surprisingly strong motivational powers come from the simple fact that you got stuff done. These aren’t intangible goals or wishful thinking but real results, results that bring all sorts of positive feelings and energy because you’ve achieved something and you want to keep going.

The done list also gives you the gift of perspective, something that is much more difficult and unrealistic at the to-do stage. It allows you to review your day, gives you a chance to celebrate your accomplishments, and helps you plan more effectively.

While the to-do list is about the plan and the possibility of any day, the done list is about execution and evaluation. Together, they provide a balanced meal of productivity planning. With a routine of to-do and done, you’ll also be able to notice patterns and puzzle out what sorts of tasks aren’t making the journey from to-do to done and why. The done list’s balancing effect helps connect the dots between your expectations and your results, and to make better to-do lists to start your next day.

The beauty of the done list is that there’s more freedom and individuality around the process. It’s not beholden to check-boxes or simple itemization. It comes down to whatever works best for you. Here are four methods for you to try out.

iDoneThis: iDoneThis is the done list that comes to you. It’s a simple tool that emails you every day prompting you to reply with what you’ve got done. It collects your dones into a handy calendar (which you can sync with Google Calendar or iCal). The e-mail notification method nudges you to keep up your done list so you don’t forget and the easy calendar-viewing option gives you a great way to review your dones!

Use what you have: Fold in your new done list along with your to-do list method if it is flexible enough. That way it’ll be easy to compare your to-do list items with your dones. At the end of the day, flip over your to-do list and write down everything you got done.

Take notes: Jot down your daily dones in a note-taking program like OneNote or Evernote. As soon as you start jotting things down, they automatically turn to into a done list. You can get over it later and see the tasks you were able to complete.

Journals: Incorporating your dones into a journaling gives you room for reflection around your days and accomplishments. Even if you’re keeping a relatively short-format practice, journaling programs are a handy way to keep track of your dones. They provide a calendar-based system, syncing options, and enough of a blank slate so that you’re not bound up in the list format of many task management applications. Give RedNotebook or the Day One app a whirl and see how this works for you.

Have you ever tried swapping over to a “done” list? I hope there are some interesting ideas in here to give your productivity a natural boost. Let me know your thoughts on what helps you get the most work done.

(Photo credit: To do list via Shutterstock)

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How to Start Napping…and Why You Should

Before you read the title and get angry, touting the same ol’ “I’m too busy!” argument, hear me out:

You can save time, energy, and get way more done by taking naps.

I know you’re in denial, but it’s true. I’ve used these techniques myself in the midst of a full-time marketing job, a part-time church job, trying to write a book, run two websites, and get married–and sometimes napping was the only way I would have been able to stay as productive as I was.

But take it from actual research: Jurgen Aschoff was a German physician, biologist, and behavioral physiologist, and he ran a remarkable experiment in the first half of last century. Aschoff placed men and women, individually, into converted World-War II bunkers that blocked out all daylight. The subjects were placed in these isolation rooms for days at a time, without access to any time-keeping devices.

After a 48-hour adjustment period, Aschoff found that all of the subjects had one strange, miraculous thing in common: they each became biphasic, meaning they slept for about six or seven hours at a time, then had a period of wakefulness, then went back to sleep for another “nap,” this time shorter than the first.

They were falling back into the natural state of biphasic sleep cycles, adhered to by much of the animal kingdom.

For those of us with “real lives,” however, we don’t have the luxury of experimentation. Rest assured, though, I’ve done the work for you! Here’s a brief outline of the best things I’ve found about adopting a napping schedule:

Give it a shot. Before you do, though, know that napping takes practice — it won’t just come to you immediately, but once you figure it out, you’ll be able to almost “nap on command,” allowing yourself the luxury of grabbing a quick (5 to 10 minutes) snooze while at work, at home, or in traffic (just kidding!).

So, how do you do it? How do you get to a state of zen in your daily life by using the power of the nap?

First, you’ll need to figure out when to nap. Dr. Sara Mednick, who wrote the great book Take a Nap: Change Your Life, has this to say about the different sleep cycles we partake in during our sleep hours:

Stage 1 – This stage is least understood, and we spend the least amount of time in it. Stage 1 sleep is the first few minutes of “pseudo sleep,” where our minds aren’t really awake and our eyelids are pressuring us to give in.Stage 2 – Stage 2 is the foundation of sleep—it’s the stage we spend more than half of our sleep time in, and it’s the stage that helps to “reset” our brain to be more alert when we wake up.Stage 3 & 4 – We can lump these stages together because they represent what’s known as “slow-wave sleep,” which is the process during which our body and brain “rebuilds” and rejuvenates.REM (Rapid Eye Movement) – Perhaps the most popular and well-known sleep phase, REM sleep is the time of sleep that most resembles our waking state. As such, we are most likely to dream those wildly fantastical dreams during REM sleep, and it’s the stage that helps us improve our creativity as well.

The different stages of sleep are also available at different times throughout the day and night — and in differing amounts:

REM sleep is mostly available to us very early in the day, starting at 4 am and reaching its peak around 8-10 am.Slow-Wave sleep depends on when we go to bed and wake up, but generally it can be reached mostly right after we go to bed, and then again a few hours before bed.Stage 2 sleep we can enter at any time—it’s most accessible, so it’s there for taking, whenever we fall asleep.

You simply need to then piece together your preferred nap: Do you need more energy? Try a late-morning nap or early-evening. Do you want to be more focused for that big project you’ve been working on? Fit in a nap built mostly on Stage 2 sleep, pretty much anytime you want (since you’re automatically in Stage 2 sleep most of the time, anyway). And finally, do you want to boost your creativity? Then try to grab a quick nap shortly after breakfast, when you’re most likely to be able to benefit from REM sleep.

That’s it! Give it a shot, and leave a comment below with your thoughts. Once you try it you’ll realize that it’s not hard to do and you don’t need pills to do it. But it does, of course, take practice.

(Photo credit: Businessman Relaxing via Shutterstock)

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A culture shock for universal emotion

The Boston Globe looks at the increasing evidence against the idea that there are some universally expressed facial emotions.

The idea that some basic emotions are expressed universally and have an evolutionary basis was suggested by Darwin in his book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.

The concept was further explored by psychologist Paul Ekman who conducted cross-cultural research and reported that the expression of anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness and surprise were universal human characteristics.

However, these ideas have recently been challenged and a debate recently kicked off in an issue of Current Directions in Psychological Science and the Globe article does a great job of covering the fight and its fall out.

…psychologists Azim Shariff and Jessica Tracy detail accumulated evidence that they argue makes the case for an evolutionary view of emotional expressions [pdf]. Some, they say, may have evolved for a physiological purpose?—?widening the eyes with fright, for instance, to expand our peripheral vision. Others may have evolved as social signals. Meanwhile, in a commentary, Barrett lays out a point-by-point counterargument [pdf]. While humans evolved to express and interpret emotions, she contends, specific facial expressions are culturally learned.

Barrett believes that the universality of recognizing facial expressions is “an effect that can be easily deconstructed,” if, for instance, subjects are asked to give their own label to faces instead of choosing from a set of words. In another recent paper [pdf] in the same journal, she argues that a growing body of research shows our perception of facial expressions is highly dependent on context: People interpret facial expressions differently depending on situation, body language, familiarity with a person, and surrounding visual cues. Barrett’s own research has shown that language and vocabulary influence people’s perception of emotions. Others have found cultural differences in how people interpret the facial expressions of others?—?a study found that Japanese people, for instance, rely more than North Americans on the expressions of surrounding people to interpret a person’s emotional state.

A fascinating discussion that tackles a taken-for-granted psychological assumption that is now being challenged.

Link to Globe piece on culture and facial expression.

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Happy birthday, TED Conversations

One year ago today, we launched our platform for long-form conversations: TED Conversations.

Since that time the TED Conversation community has held 6,435 Conversations, on topics such as:

How can computer models help us build intuition?

Where do you use math in your profession?

Can we ever know how another person “senses” the world?

And about education … philosophy … technology … and hundreds more.

Including 40 Live Conversations with TED and TEDx speakers and TED Fellows. (The Live Conversation phenomenon started with Hans Rosling and his first live conversation.)

Browse Live Conversations >>

Most recently, check out the TEDinClass initiative, as TED Fellow Nina Tandon uses TED Conversations in her college classrooms to open class discussion to the wider world.

We’d like to say a special thanks to our volunteer hosts and moderators, who’ve done so much to support the platform and the community.

Explore TED Conversations >>

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The humanity that draws us together: Anthony Shadid at TEDxOKC

Reporter Anthony Shadid died this week in Syria, in the midst of a distinguished career as a reporter in the Middle East, based in Beirut and Baghdad. In April 2011, he was a surprise speaker at TEDxOKC, in his hometown of Oklahoma City — where he shared his hopes for a reimagined Middle East.

Read notes from this talk on Heather Braun’s blog >>

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Individual ecstasies: the revelatory experience conference

On March 23rd London will host a unique conference on the neuroscience, psychiatry and interpretation of revelatory visionary experiences.

It’s been put together by Quinton Deeley from our research group at the Institute of Psychiatry and brings together cognitive neuroscientists, anthropologists, religious studies scholars, psychologists and psychiatrists to discuss different ways of understanding ‘revelatory experiences’.

Mental health professionals frequently encounter people who report experiences of God or supernatural beings speaking or acting through them to reveal important truths. In some cases it is difficult to know to what extent such experiences are best explained as ‘illness’, or represent experiences which are accepted and valued within a person’s religious or cultural context. Indeed, revelatory experiences form a key part of the formation and development of major world religions through figures such as prophets, visionaries, and yogins, as well as in the religious practice of shamans and others in traditional smaller scale societies.

Why are revelatory experiences and related altered states of consciousness so common across cultures and history? What neural and other processes cause them? When should they be thought of as due to mental illness, as opposed to culturally accepted religious experience? And what value should or can be placed upon them? In this one day conference leading scholars from neuroscience, psychiatry, theology and religious studies, history and anthropology gather to present recent findings, and debate with each other and the audience about these fundamental aspects of human experience.

Rarely do we get the chance to look at visionary experiences from so many diverse angles so it should be a fascinating day.

Full details at the link below. See you there.

Link to details of Revelatory Experiences conference.

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15 Ways To Stay Focused At Work

It’s normal.

You’re bent on finishing the work at hand, and suddenly something comes up. You don’t give thought to how pressing any distraction is — you just give it attention.

Five minutes, ten minutes. Sometimes it goes to over an hour.

When you get back to work — boom — you’ve no idea where you left off or why you couldn’t get your mind and heart into it. You can’t stay focused at work anymore and are becoming less productive. There goes your valuable time and effort. There goes your momentum and peak of creativity.

Because there’s no chance of shutting out the world while you’re busy, the decision to stay focused at work is in your hands. It’s about finding the right techniques, knowing your priorities, and sticking to them.

Stuck for ideas? Well, here are 15 ways to stay focused at work:

Any meaningful task or routine takes a large part of one’s focus. Before starting anything, ask yourself why you should do it. With your answer, there will be that output you so desire — and so you value the task. Then find ways for the task to become fun, like allowing your creativity and imagination to play in the process. Don’t stick within borders of “approved” output; have your options opened for new, fun ideas.

When you make something you can call your own, you’re more likely to stay focused at work.

Many people find working physically strenuous even if it’s done seated most of the time.

Don’t lose precious time and be distracted with discomfort. Get a really good chair with great back support; make sure your desk or worktable is well-structured as well. That way you can work for many hours and not find your body and eyes getting strained.

Too much stuff within arms’ reach or atop your desk can prove to be really distracting. To stay focused at work, only have the things you need neatly piled on your desk — put the rest away properly, like in a desk drawer or shelves. Have an area for food and drinks, your bag or purse, and other personal items.

But have them within reach so you can just grab a drink without losing focus on what you’re doing.

This is very important for people who use PC for work: Have shortcuts for all routinely used programs.

Put in just one folder all files related to each project or task. Then ensure your PC is always virus-free to saved you the hassle of checks and repairs. Instances such as these cause stress and will wane your interest to finish the tasks.

Drinking water isn’t only healthy, it refreshes you as well. Once you feel the first sign of fatigue or hunger, a glass of water can push them away. Then you can finish what you’re doing and rest at a later time. Besides, not all stomach rumblings are signs of hunger, and drinking a glass of water usually deals with it.

Just make sure you have water within arms’ reach. That way you stay focused at work instead of walking to the water station — and becoming prey to distractions!

Like having water close by, the food that could settle a grumbling stomach must always be at hand. For the same reason of having 90% of your attention at work, eating within your workspace area will not expose you to unrelated activities. So make sure your snacks are within arms reach too!

It’s always helpful when you have your list of tasks beside your PC (or at any conspicuous place in the work area). Having it in your PC or mobile phones often opens doors to checking other trivial tabs or windows, or responding to unimportant SMS messages.

So put your “to-do today” list where you can always see it, and cross out the “done” tasks. That way, you won’t be digging through your bag or finding that page where you wrote them.

The first hour at work is where most people are productive. This is because all energies are yet to be spent. So put all the taxing, difficult and challenging tasks on your agenda during the first hour. Follow these with the less pressing work, and then end with those routine tasks that you find boring.

Such methods makes you stay focused at work, without spending precious time on doing tasks you don’t like. Do this and you won’t be stressed with important projects at the end of the workday.

If you’re bent on making your personal working system work, let others know it. Chances are, you’d be left alone on the hours where you’re focused on the really big, important work. When people at work know you’re on your “free time”, they will pose questions and talk during such periods. Unless there’s a very urgent matter at hand, they’ll leave you at work.

After all, they want the same.

In most offices, there are various sources of sounds that can prove distracting — like the floor polisher, the mail cart, workmates talking, phones ringing, and sounds of things dropped on the floor. Protect yourself with headphones so you can stay focused at work. The headphones will ward off surprising sounds — and those that get your mind wandering.

Not all calls are about your apartment being burglarized, or a loved one being in precarious situation. So turn off your mobile phone to silent mode during hours where you really need all attention on your work. You can also opt to activate the voicemail service.

As for instant messaging, set the status to indicate you’re “busy” or stay “invisible” while you work. If you still get IMs, then just turn the program off and turn it on later when your current task isn’t as pressing.

These sites aren’t meant to be checked all the time. So discipline yourself to log in only when you have extra minutes free.

There’s a strong tendency that you’ll stay much longer than planned because something new, interesting and perky always comes with most social networking sites. Not only will it defeat your purpose of staying focused at work, but there’s plenty of information there that could get your mind unnecessarily perturbed — like a friend’s status about her heartbreak, or someone from work getting a raise.

Another really stressful and distracting activity is email. Let’s face it: You get a lot. Likely a heavy mix of personal and work correspondence, promos and updates from your sites, and 9undoubtedly) spam.

One good way to avoid this is to have a separate email address for work and one for your personal email. Have them both powered to filter all emails. Once you have free time on hand, check emails again and unsubscribe from senders who you could live without. Then, organize the emails you’d attend to later. Delete the rest.

Finally, check your emails only when you’re done with the most important task of the day. Make sure you limit your email time as well.

Phones are meant for important concerns, chats about the previous night’s date are meant for long lunch breaks. Observing such rule would help you stay focused at work. You could also request your workmates to inform your callers you’d get back to them at a later time instead of always tapping your back or shouting out that you’ve got a call at any time. Once you’re done with work, call back the earlier callers and explain your situation briefly. In the next two minutes, ask about their concern, note it down and tell them you’d call them back for their needed action. Prepare and write all their needed details, bearing in mind their possible follow-up thoughts on the matter. Then call them back and always limit the phone conversation to less than three minutes.

The point of having music in the background while you’re working is to provide ease and inspiration. For some, listening to music pumps up their adrenaline so they can work with greater energy.

But not all kinds of music are pleasant for everyone — and some are not suited for one’s mood. So organize your music library accordingly. Apart from helping you stay focused at work, no distractions should take place. There’s nothing more jarring than suddenly hearing loud, heavy metal screaming after some relaxing jazz music.

Just remember — you are surrounded by events and people at work that could cut off your momentum. You can help keep these at bay and stay focused at work with any of the 15 great ways mentioned above.

Do you have any other ways you stay focused at work? Share them in the comments below.

(Photo credit: Low-key portrait via Shutterstock)

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A journey through schizophrenia science

BBC Radio 4's The Life Scientific recently profiled psychiatrist, schizophrenia researcher and stand-up chap, Robin Murray, who talks about how his understanding of the condition has drastically changed over the years.

It’s a fascinating journey through how our theories about the mental illness, most associated with having delusions and hallucinations, has evolved through time – taking in everything from the anti-psychiatry of R.D. Laing to modern neurogenetic studies.

As a young man, Murray lived in an Asylum in Glasgow for two years, mainly because it offered free accommodation to medical students. Struck by how people’s minds could play tricks on them and the lack of proper research into the condition, he resolved to put the study of schizophrenia on a more scientific footing. Fifteen years ago he believed schizophrenia was a brain disease. Now, he’s not so sure.

Despite decades of research, the biological basis of this often distressing condition remains elusive. Just living in a city significantly increases your risk (the bigger the city the greater the risk); and, as Murray discovered, migrants are six times more likely to develop the condition than long term residents. He’s also outspoken about the mental health risks of smoking cannabis, based both on his scientific research and direct experience working at the Maudsley Hospital in South London.

You can listen to the streamed version on the programme page but to download the podcast you have to go to a completely different page and search through the list. Why? No-one knows.

Link to page with streaming audio.
Link to podcast page.

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Love Hack: 14 Great Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

Valentine’s Day marks a day or fresh romance for some and also offers the opportunity for the rekindling of romance for those who’ve been in relationships for some time. With everyone having such busy lives in this day and age, coming up with creative and fresh date ideas is a challenge. There’s no reason why Lifehack can’t offer a “love hack” or two every once in a while, and today is a perfectly appropriate day to do so.

Rather than just suggest one or two “love hacks” on Valentine’s DAy, we’re going to serve up 14 of them for you. Plenty of choices for you to pick from so that you and your Valentine can have a great evening – and without having to invest a bunch of time in the planning in the process:

If you’re feeling brave – and vulnerability isn’t an issue for you – heading out to your local karaoke bar for a night of singing and dancing is not only a unique dating idea, but it’s also a way to relieve tension from the work week. You also get a chance to strut your stuff in front of your date – whether by sohwing off your pipes or bringing the camp to the forefront with every song you perform.

Going out to the movies isn’t exactly a novel idea, but what if you and your sweethear were to skip work and hit the theatre for a matinée? The movie will be less crowded, and you’ll feel as if you’re ahead of the game when it comes to Valentine’s Day plans.

Tea houses are gaining in popularity all over the world, so why not spend some time in one with your date in one? You can experiment with teas you’ve never had the chance to try before, and you won’t have to keep the drinking in check – as opposed to hitting the bar where you run the risk of drinking more than your fair share and not feeling “up” for work the next day.

The weather may not cooperate with everyone on this one, but if doesn’t mean it can’t be done. You can simply have it indoors under candlelight or spend it outdoors if the climate isn’t too cool. Regardless of where you have the picnic, it’s a classic date idea that can go over well no matter what you serve and when you serve it.

While there aren’t as many around as there used to be, there’s nothing quite like exploring a bookstore with your date. You can discover new books that might appeal to you and you may discover what books your date enjoys as well.

Another great bonding experience is hitting the rink with your date, whether it be the ice rink or roller rink. Even if you can’t skate very well, you’ll find that your date might be impressed with your willingness to go out and do something that you may not be all that great at.

This date idea is for those who are in a relationship where spending a night away from home could add some sprak into things. It’s like taking a mini-vacation without having to stray too far, allowing for a quick getaway and return to work the next day.

Laughter isn’t only the best medicine, it can also help spur on the romance. Going to a comedy show – be it standup, sketch or improv – is a great way to break the ice and have a great time in the process. Just make sure that you don’t sit in the front row – that area is right in the line of fire of those on stage.

If hte earlier idea of going to a tea house isn’t your cup of…well…tea, then perhaps a cocktail lounge is more your kind of thing. These lounges are typically quiet and dark, allowing for some privacy for you and your date – and you’ll also be able to hear each other better than in most bar-type settings.

Concerts are few and far between these days – espeically in my city – but you can always throw on a concert on television or on the Internet and enjoy one in the comfort of your own home. It’s less expensive, and you get to pick the artist you and your date would love to watch perform.

Again, this isn’t the most novel of ideas, but it’s something that is easy to do and can be done at home or in a movie theatre. It’s also not the least expensive option, but it’s one of the best options if you want to “love hack” your Valentine’s Day experience.

It’s said thst a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so why not take a cooking class to see if that’s the case? You learn a skill, get a meal out of it, and you both can bond over the preparation of a meal.

This is another great bonding experience, and it’s one that’ll do both your bodies some good. And it’s likely that the gym will be not as full as usual at this time of year – because (traditionally) the resolutions by so many have been abandoned by now.

Taking the time to step back from the day and think about where you and your date are going – whether you have been together for a while or are just getting to know each other better – is something to consider. You can even do this in conjunction with any of the above suggestions so that you can start building for the future right away.

Whether you’re into Valentine’s Day or not, these date ideas are worth keeping handy so you can mix it up when you’re planning your next date with that special someone.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

(Photo credit: Valentine Hearts via Shutterstock)

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Clutterfree Inspiration: Two Beautiful Transformations

Today I’m going to share the stories (and photos) of two people who tackled their clutter and lived to tell the tale.

Not only did they survive, they can serve as inspiration for anyone else who feels hopeless and helpless in the face of mountains of clutter. It’s possible, and we have the proof.

What follows are stories from Sarah and Rick, two amazing students in the Clutterfree Course. Read about two more transformations on Be More With Less by Courtney Carver, my partner in the Clutterfree Course.

In Sarah’s words:
De-cluttering has taught me a lot about myself:

As a child we were in a financial difficult situation (parents divorced and my mum on her own with three children). So being able to buy stuff was not that much about the stuff itself but rather about the ability to do so.That I shop when I am emotionally stressed and addressed this issue.That I do not want to spend valuable time with my partner making spending decisions so I’d rather stop buying and have quality time.That I can embrace free space and that it is beautiful – before I had the urge to fill space so it feels more comfy and homey.That de-cluttering makes me happy.

Decluttering is tightly linked to reduced shopping and saving money: I actually started with decluttering because I thought that this is the most fun way of saving money and I was very right. The more I declutter, the more I diminish my desire to buy stuff and realise that it is very satisfying and freeing to own less.

Decluttering makes you more creative – I chose so many gifts for friends from my de-cluttered items that made people very happy. I like this. So rather than going shopping I look into my shelves I have reserved for de-cluttered items that are nice presents to give away. Similarly, if I feel that I need something I first look around my flat if I can repurpose something I already have to serve the need I have. I was quite surprised with what I came up with.

De-cluttering makes cleaning so much easier and fun and I feel so much more in control now and do not have this underlying feeling of the weighing down of stuff and I spent less and less time with household chores! I did not believe before that visual clutter is such a stressor.

Tips
I declutter every day for 8 minutes as an established habit according to Leo’s simple method for habit creation – but I sometimes mix it up and do a number goal decluttering. For example if I focus on the bathroom – each time I go to the bathroom I will choose three items that will leave the bathroom with me.

It’s good to have an idea of what to do with the won space – so my motivation to get rid of the chest of drawer was to be able to put a nice reading chair there instead. Or for the shed – I want to put the bikes there. That helps so much to get rid of a lot of things and knowing why I am doing it.

Colour code your wardrobe – I heard this tip from Peter Walsh and arranged my wardrobe that way. Also have same type of hangers now and it looks so neat indeed.

Remaining issues:

I still have to tackle how to deal with some items that I attach a lot of memory to and learn how I can let go of it.Not patronise and preach to other about de-cluttering, especially my partner. Just being an example of a happy de-clutter is enough and will have some consequences on people around me and if not that is fine too – I can learn from that!How best deal with valuable items that you are willing to declutter but reluctant to donate. But then the hassle of selling stuff should not be underestimated. Maybe donating for a good cause?

Clutterfat challenge – what worked best?

Being part of a group: for me it is important to be able to exchange on ideas, experience and to motivate each other to declutter and being accountable to get the work done each day.Taking before and after photos: I could not face the thought of having to count my stuff, so I took photos and it really motivated me to see how far I got and what transformations are possible in such a short time – this is important for the days I do not feel like doing my decluttering habit.Using the month of January to focus on my decluttering habit: I established decluttering as a daily habit of 8 minutes every day following Leo’s simple method – tiny steps every day can get you far, it is amazing!Choosing specific areas to declutter: For example I choose my desk, two shelfs and the shed and did not tackle the whole flat at once and I had an aim with the space that I could free of clutter – e.g. put a nice reading chair for the space I gained from getting rid of the chest of drawers next to my desk.

Clutterfat challenge – how does it feel?
If someone would have told me a couple of months ago that I would enjoy decluttering and that it is a life changing habit, I would not have believed it. But it is true for me. Decluttering is fun and feels very liberating. It brings order into my physical world but I also learn so much about myself and feel more in control – definetly a habit to keep for life. So I will continue to free myself of my clutterfat!

In Rick’s words:

Thoughts on the Process

You need to be ready for it. What is the old saying? When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. That was certainly the case here. When Leo wrote about the Clutterfree book and course, the message really struck a chord with me. I knew I was ready to make some changes in my life. I can’t say that I was anticipating everything that was about to unfold. But the Clutterfree course came to me right at the time I was ready to receive it. There is no way I would have been able to do this work five/ten years ago. I just wasn’t ready for it.Doing it together helps. I started talking about the course with my significant other, Amy. One of the things we decided to do was to limit the number of physical Christmas presents we would exchange. Amy agreed that one of the “gifts” she would give me this year was to share the experience of going through the course with me. Having my partner on board with this undertaking made things so much easier. I seriously doubt if either of us would have made the progress we have made so far without the support of each other. Just having someone to talk to – about the concepts in the class, the emotional issues that arise during the process, the things with which you are struggling – is so very helpful.Set ground rules. Since we were both going to be dealing with issues that arose as we let things go, we decided it was important to set some ground rules. Our most important rule – each of us had to deal with our own stuff. I would not force or press her to get rid of anything that was “hers”. And she would not press me to get rid of anything that was “mine”. For the many things that are joint property, whoever had the stronger emotional attachment to the item got to decide what to do with it. We promised each other that the most we would ever do to question the decision to keep any particular item is to pick it up, look at the other person and say, “Seriously?!?” then walk away. We’ve kept to these rules pretty well so far.Set your goals. Before this class, I was only vaguely aware of the whole minimalism movement. Early on in the process, we talked about what we wanted out of the course. We realized we have no desire to live in a tiny home, or to dress using only 33 items. I have been describing my goal for the course like this… I do not desire to create the perfectly empty “zen” home. However, I would like to use any random horizontal surface in my house without first having to move a bunch of stuff. You need to decide what living “clutter free” means for you.Things will get messier before it gets better. Both literally and figuratively. Half way through the process, everything will be pulled out and dumped in the center of the room. You will create additional clutter as you set aside items to sell, or fill boxes of items to donate. Be ready for it.Get ready to deal with emotional issues. Things will probably get emotionally “messy” as well. One of the big reasons we hold onto items we no longer need or use is that we have imbued the items with emotional meaning. Perhaps we have tied certain objects to our sense of identity. Identifying those emotional issues and then dealing with them is a huge part of the process. I read the Clutterfree book pretty quickly over the holidays. But the course forced me to actually implement the ideas and make real changes. It is one thing to understand the concepts on an intellectual level. It is quite another to dive in and deal with your crap (both physical and emotional).

What Worked Best

The course materials Courtney & Leo provided each week were great! I particularly enjoyed the audio interviews, video lessons, and the weekly webinars & live chats.

The ideas that worked best for me:

Taking “before” pictures. In the first week of the class, Leo gave us the assignment to count everything in our home. The idea was to record where we were at the beginning so we could look back at the end and see how far we had come. I found this assignment totally daunting. So I modified it. Rather than counting, I took pictures. These “before” pictures were very helpful. They forced me to actually see many things I had slowly taught myself to not notice. The pictures helped to remove my mental blinders and notice the things I didn’t want to see.Every thing needs a “home” where it needs to “live” when not in use. And no object “lives” on the floor (other than carpets or furniture). If you can’t find a home for an object, you don’t have space for it in your life.Focus on clearing one area at a time. One item at a time.Make conscious decisions. For me this included consciously deciding to not focus on particular areas – at least not yet. For example, I knew I was nowhere near ready to tackle clearing my music CDs or movie DVDs. These areas got a “weeding”, but not the full de-clutter treatment. Maybe someday I’ll tackle these areas. But not today.Identify the the “why”. For each item in your house, ask yourself, “Do you love it? Do you use it?” If the answer is no, then why do you still have it? Really delve into that “why” for each item. Are you keeping it “just in case?” Are you putting emotions into that item? What does that item represent for you? Why? Why? Why?Share the ideas. You only really understand something if you can teach it to someone else. I talked a lot about the ideas in the course – with Amy, with friends, with co-workers, with the other people in the class. The more I shared these ideas, the more I owned them myself. Sharing ideas via the class message board also helped me greatly. The message boards helped me work through some of the emotions I had attached to things.Be kind with yourself. This process will take longer than you think it will. Don’t worry about it. It is about making progress. Each person will progress at his or her own rate. Focus on the progress you are making. Do not be concerned about how fast or slow things are going.

How it Feels

How does it feel? It feels great!

Being in these rooms is so much nicer now. They feel much more calm, much more inviting. They are now places I actually want to spend my time.

I find that I am much more content to spend time at home. One night we were sitting in the living room and Amy turned to me and said, “Just look at this place! It looks like grown-ups live here.” We shared a good laugh at that!

Not that we are “done” – or that we will ever be “done.”

We still have lots to do as we work to finish this first big de-clutter.

It is also a challenge to keep the rooms we have cleared from backsliding. It is easy to let things accumulate. Especially as we move everything out of a new area to de-clutter that.

But we are making progress. We’ve started saying things like, “I know this thing doesn’t live here. But I just need to leave it here until ___.”

We’re not perfect. (Whatever that means.) But we are making more conscious decisions about our stuff and about how we live.

From Leo: Thanks for the inspiration, Sarah and Rick! Courtney and I wrote the Clutterfree book to help you understand the emotion behind holding onto clutter and to give you the motivation and momentum to let it go and live without it forever. Read the book and share your challenges and success in the Clutterfree Forum.

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