Never Make Someone a Priority

Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

Once you hit 20-something and over, you reach a point where your time becomes your most precious asset. A bad friendship can drain our energy, so we seek to avoid them as much as possible. This manner of prioritization tends to put our relationships into prospective, by subconsciously implementing The Two Laws of Adult Friendship.

1. I will only spend time on/with subjects of obsession – Just like your obsession with running, painting, or growing your own tomatoes, most of us will only initiate friendships with those who make the most of our time.

2. I must recognize realistic variables – Yes, adult friendship is like a real life math problem—helping us set realistic expectations. Sometimes we want to be closer with others, but we foresee responsibilities that can get understandably in the way.

What is the probability of Person X + (1 Husband + 2 Kids + 1 Kitten) /Full Time Job have of going out dancing with Person Y Friday night?

Somehow, you might find those few friends who get past this litmus test, but really aren’t worth the energy you are wasting on them. You might feel like a bad person when these types of thoughts start popping in your head. If this is a constant concern in the friendship, rest assured that it’s probably for the best. Here are the 3 facts to consider if you think someone is a bad friend.

3 WARNING Signs of a Bad Friend

Featured photo credit: Penguin gets rejectedvia Shutterstock

Brian is a Lifehacker who covers all sorts of tips for life. He is also fascinated with new technology. Contact him at brian@lifehack.org

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10 Mistakes Happy People Never Make

Have you noticed that small, nagging voice in your head that does most of the talking? It is like a hotel guest that forgot to check out. I call it the “mini-me”.

In my case, I’d do a superb job with a client, or at writing a book, and the mini-me would still be unsatisfied. It would find reasons why the success won’t last and why it is not much of a big deal.

A while ago, I realized it was high-time I asked the nagger to shut up!

After all, it’s your mind, it’s your life and it’s your happiness that is at stake here. The more you give in to the mini-me, the more you move away from experiencing life to the fullest.

Happy people seem to get that. They practice a few things, whether consciously or unconsciously. They also avoid certain things like the plague, such as:

Happy, positive people don’t pay a whole lot of attention to their mini-me. Your job is to convert your mini-me into your best friend – and until it becomes one, you say, “Thank you, but I am fine,” and ignore the rest of the chatter.

Focus on what your mini-me is not saying. Focus on the achievements and happy moments of your life. You know the saying, “What you focus on is what you get”. It’s time to put the saying to the test.

If you define your success with money, you will find that the amount you earn is never enough. There is always more to be earned. Instead, happy people equate their success with satisfaction and happiness in life.

If you are happy making a thousand dollars a month because it satisfies all your needs, then be happy. Don’t stop yourself because someone else told you a thousand dollars is not enough. Tune into yourself and ask whether you need more; if yes, strive for it. But not at the cost of your own happiness!

In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle stresses the importance of being present. The present is the only time you have right now. It is the only tangible experience for you. The past is in your memories and the future is yet to come.

Happy people focus on the small things today that will become big successes tomorrow. Seize the day because today will never happen again.

We are a funny species. We forget what is while we focus on what is not. To remind yourself of the small things that bring happiness in your life, keep a gratitude journal. Say, “Thank you,” to the Universe, Source, God (or whatever you call it). Psychological research suggests we are happy when we are grateful for what we already have.

To ‘prove’ this, try writing down three things that went well during a day. Keep doing this for a week, every night, with a causal explanation of why you are grateful for that experience. Notice how you feel after each exercise. In an experiment in 2005, different groups of participants were asked to do the same. At the one-month follow up meeting, the people who used this exercise were happier and less depressed than they had been at the prior meeting. They continued the exercise and stayed happier in the future follow-ups.

Somehow, we are conditioned to dream small. We are told to be careful of the challenges life throws our way. Successful people don’t limit their dreams – they dare to dream BIG.

That said, they also have a series of smaller, more immediate steps that will bring them to realize this goal. Having a bigger vision is important, but a step-by-step formula makes it more possible.

Happy people love the concept of a mastermind where people share their challenges and come up with a list of solutions, or brainstorm ideas, using the group’s synergy.

It may be tempting to gossip about others behind their back, but when you talk negatively, you take in the negative energy yourself.

Think about the last time you spoke (or thought) badly of someone behind their back. How did you feel afterwards? Not overly enthusiastic, for sure. Instead, focus on others’ strengths and positive habits and highlight what makes them special.

Alignment with your values is an emotional state you want to feel on a regular basis. For example, your top values could be love, honesty, integrity and success. Make a list of your top ten values and then on the other side of the paper, write down how you are meeting these values in different areas of your life.

Now, write down all areas where your values are not being met. You have discovered the loopholes. What can you do to change that? (For a full list of values, go here.)

Happy people are adaptable – they easily adjust themselves to accept what is not possible. If you’re unhappy about something, notice how your ego holds onto it and won’t let go of the fact that you cannot change it.

This brings more pain that has especially to do with trying to control others or external situations. The person you can change the easiest is you. Happy people get that and bring their energy to what can be controlled – that is, they themselves.

The more you focus on how someone hurt you last year by making a mean statement, the more you will hold on to anger, negativity and resentment. All these take a whole lot of your energy for nothing in return.

Perhaps the other person feels miserable, too. Perhaps they are holding a grudge against you. No one is happy that way. To forgive and forget is hard but pays well in the long run. You will be free from the shackles of the negative bond, and you have more room for better experiences in your life.

What other habit would you add to the list of mistakes that happy people never make? Share with us in the comments below!

Need more of a happiness dose? Check out 10 Questions That Prove You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Featured photo credit: eflonvia Flickr

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3 Amazing Science-backed Life Tips You'd Never Guess

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Never Create an UGLY Graphic Again!

Ugly web pages abound online! We all know this, we all suffer from visiting them.

There is no need for this madness to continue, at least not as far as ugly colors are concerned! I have found a terrific online free tool that should eliminate bad color choices from your world for all time!

Color Scheme Designer

Steve hosts Dotto Tech, a weekly radio show/podcast about all things tech.

According to research carried out by the Institute for Color Research, between 62% and 90% of the subconscious judgments we make about a person, environment, or product within the first 90 seconds are based on color alone. How to Pick the Perfect Color for Any Purpose

Check out Steve's weekly Podcast atwww.dottotech.comSteve Dotto is one of Canada's most respected geeks. For over 15 years, as host and executive producer of Dotto Tech, a nationally syndicated TV show, Steve has entertained and educated millions of Canadians on all aspects of technology.Steve now hosts Dotto Tech as a weekly radio show and podcast.A very popular speaker, Steve is in demand addressing audiences on the changes technology is bringing to the workplace, and our society.Steve has one mission, to help us master our technology, at home, at school or at work, his message....we need to be in charge.

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A True Friend Never Gets in Your Way

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. - Arnold H. Glasow

As we go through life, we have the opportunity to meet a variety of different people. Some become casual acquaintances who we just smile and wave at when we see them and others don’t merit a second thought after they walk out the door, but a select few will make it into the inner circle and become friends.

There are different types of friends, however, and it often takes a while to determine whether the person you enjoy spending time with is a true friend or not. Sure, it’s great to get to know new people, and you might really enjoy hanging out with a particular group on weekends, but how do you feel when you’re around them? Do they elevate your spirits, or put you down? Would the person you go clubbing with on Friday nights come and visit you if you were really sick? What about bailing you out of jail? Would they come with you to break terrible news to your family, or be willing to go for a picnic in the middle of the night just because?

Let’s take a look at a few traits of solid, amazing friends.

Are You Wasting Time with Bad Friends? Here Are 5 Traits of True Friends

Brian is a Lifehacker who covers all sorts of tips for life. He is also fascinated with new technology. Contact him at brian@lifehack.org

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5 Reasons to Never Give Up

After blowing the whistle on the banks for mortgage and foreclosure fraud, I got hit hard by their retaliation machines. I found myself alone, broke, unemployable, and quickly losing everything I worked my entire life to gain. Despite already going through hard times, I realized it was only going to get more difficult as I continued. At one point during the summer of 2011, I nearly overdosed on spice (faux marijuana, which was somehow legal in AZ at the time). As I lay in a bathtub awaiting what I thought to be certain death, I flashed back on all the moments in my life that led me to that point… and somehow I found the strength to get back up and continue breathing…

The experience changed my life. I woke up with a renewed drive to fight the banks. People started backing and supporting my cause, and I leveraged the experience into a successful writing career. While my story isn’t the norm, it’s certainly not uncommon. If dancing on rock bottom accomplishes nothing else, I hope it serves to illustrate that no matter how bad things get, you should never give up. There’s always a reason to keep pushing just a little bit further toward your goal, or even just to stay alive to fight another day. I’m not special; I just kept going when others quit.

Here are some reasons to never give up:

Have you ever heard the phrase “past the point of no return”? It means that you’ve come so far, it’s easier to continue than to turn back. The phrase is used much more sparingly than it should be. Every moment of your life is past the point of no return. You’re not going to eventually end up back in the womb. All you can do is move forward in life, and the reason why is because wherever you’re at or whatever you do, you can’t turn back time.

I spent nearly two years on the brink of success; it felt like chasing a carrot on a stick. Every short-term goal I accomplished seemed to place two more steps between my current position and my long-term goals. It was as though there was a giant hand reaching out of the sky, picking me up, and placing me backwards every time I tried to move forward with my life. In the face of these overwhelming odds, I kept repeating to myself, “Don’t stop. You’re almost there.”

Before I even understood it happened, I was suddenly an overnight success. The thing is–I didn’t know how to sit back and enjoy it. I continued working as though I was almost there. The idea was embedded in my psyche, and my work ethic was forever altered. Instead of resting on my laurels, I continue working as though I’m almost there to this day. As long as I keep that thought in my head, I continue working. The instant I decide I’ve either already made it or I never will, I’ll stop working, and my journey as a writer will end. Success is like adulthood–you think you’ll wake up one day feeling a complete transformation, but instead you look back and realize the evolution happened right under your nose.

I can’t stress enough how important our time is. Regardless of how life, the world, and existence start or end, we’re all living in the middle of it. Don’t waste your time–it’s the only resource you can spend but never replenish. When you give up, you’re devaluing your time.

Instead of wasting your time, take a step back for a moment and really analyze what’s going on in your life that’s motivating you to throw in the towel. There are times you may need to walk away from a project, but it doesn’t mean you need to give up completely. Think of your life as a boat. If you notice the boat sinking, you sometimes have to dump unnecessary weight in order to stay afloat. Applying this concept to your financial situation, it’s sometimes necessary to let a bill or two go in order to catch the rest up. Manage any aspect of your life the same way.

Even if you do have to lose a battle (short-term goal), focus on how the lessons learned affect the overall war (your long-term goals). Whatever you do, don’t allow your time to be wasted. If you don’t value your time enough to spend it for your benefit, why would anyone else?

If you think you’re going to reach success without tasting failure, I can assure you that you’ll never reach success. Every winner loses, but not every loser wins. It’s important to fail because it teaches you valuable life lessons–you don’t always get what you want, being right doesn’t mean you’ll win, heart is more important than skill, never take anything for granted, etc.

Instead of perceiving failure as a negative, look at it as a chance to reset and start again refreshed. Yes, the delays are annoying, and I’m aware there are a lot of obstacles in your way. You have a house, care, family, utilities, expenses, and so many other things to think about. You were counting on that paycheck, the time off, another person’s help, or whatever else is impeding your success. It may feel like the end of the world, but it’s never over as long as you’re still breathing.

Don’t be too attached to comfort. You may think you can’t live without cable television, food, electricity, a car, a home, or other people, but it’s entirely possible. Instead of using the thought “other people have much worse problems than me” to deter you from feeling sorry for yourself, use it as a motivational tool to take more risks. Other people have much worse problems than you, so if you lose what you’re risking, you won’t be alone. You may even succeed, but as long as you’re prepared for failure, or at the very least willing to fight on, you’re going to be ok.

I love hip-hop. Studying the hip-hop industry (particularly through conversations with Wendy Day), What I learned from the hip-hop community is a trend I’ve seen in far too many social circles–Jay-Z, Eminem, Lil Wayne, etc went through some negative life experiences, and they now pour their hearts out over music. You listen to this music, relate to their pain, and start bragging to other people about the traits that make you similar to the MCs we all know and love. The difference between you and Eminem is that he turned his pain into one of the most successful careers in the history of the music business–you just repeat your pain to everyone in hopes it’ll entitle you to something.

Everyone goes through tough times, and while giving up may ease your stress, it doesn’t make your goal disappear–someone else will just come through and accomplish whatever it was you were hoping to accomplish. That job will go to someone else, the invention will come from someone else, that woman will spend every night banging someone else… and it’s all your fault for giving up. If you can’t live with the idea of someone else enjoying the fruits you labored for, it’s a good idea to get up and keep pushing.

At the end of the day, we all want to see you succeed, but if you don’t, you’re the only one who’s ultimately affected. Just because you gave up doesn’t mean everyone else is. Your friends and family may still love and care about you, but they’ll eventually spend less and less time with you–nobody wants to hang around with someone who makes them feel stuck.

If you want to give up, give up. I can’t stop you, but if you want to succeed and turn your dreams into a reality, it’s going to take work. You’ll have to walk through both heaven and hell. There will be pain, and there will be a lot of times where you feel like giving up is your only option. Keep pushing, and never give up–quitters never win.

Need more motivation? Learn: How to Win, How to Fail, and How to Be Lucky

Featured photo credit: An older rock climber makes it look easy.via Shutterstock

Brian Penny is a former business analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower and freelance writer. He's a frequent contributor to Mainstreet, and HardcoreDroid and an affiliate of Manduka and Amazon. He documents his experiences working with Anonymous, practicing yoga, and fighting the banks on his blog.

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Daily Quote: Never Did Anything by Accident

I never did anything by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work. - Thomas A. Edison

Fred Gratzon is a wonder.

You need only read his bio on his personal website to get a sense of how deep the river runs here. His book, The Lazy Way to Success, with Lawrence Sheaff, is an account of how we’ve got it all wrong when it comes to how much work is required to be successful.

Fun is the new Hard Work

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Daily Quote: Most People have Never Learned that One of the Main Aims in Life

Most people have never learned that one of the main aims in life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

What are important things and advice to know that people generally aren’t told about? Here’s a great answer we found in Quora by Marcus Geduld who provides some valuable tips on life improvement.

The Important Things and Advice to know that People Generally Aren’t Told about

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30sec Tip: Never Look Down on Anyone

Never look down on anyone, unless you are helping them up.

We make commitments to others and ourselves all the time. The question is: Do we keep them?

When we fail to keep a promise, it communicates to the other person that we don’t value him or her. We have elected to place something else ahead of our commitment. This can result in an erosion of trust in our relationships.

More importantly, we are telling ourselves that we don’t value our own word. Not keeping a promise to yourself is the same as disrespecting yourself. Eventually, it can harm our self-esteem, confidence, and experience of life.

5 Tips to Help You Keep Your Promises

Featured photo credit: snowboarder via Shutterstock Brian is a Lifehacker who covers all sorts of tips for life. He is also fascinated with new technology. Contact Brian at brian@lifehack.org, Google+

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How to Never Take Life for Granted

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How To Never Give Up On Becoming an Entrepreneur

In the information age, it is easier to start a new business. However, once you take the first step, you will find the path is not as easy as you expected at the beginning. The following infographic from Funders and Founders provides you with a step-by-step guide on how to never give up on becoming an entrepreneur and reach your goal eventually.

How To Never Give Up On Becoming an Entrepreneur – Funders and Founders

SEE ALSO: 5 Reasons to Create Your First Startup

Brian is a Lifehacker who covers all sorts of tips for life. He is also fascinated with new technology. Contact Brian at brian@lifehack.org, Google+

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The Other Person is Never the Problem

In countless little ways each day, we blame other people for our frustrations.

They irritate us, don’t do things the right way, are incompetent, rude, inconsiderate, bad drivers, too slow, not tidy, boring, uncaring.

And yet, we will always be frustrated if we stick to this mindset.

We will always be angry, offended, hurt, disappointed. There will be no end to the offenses humanity can take against us, as long as we decide that everyone else is wrong, all the time.

They’re not the problem.

The other person is never the problem.

This is a lesson I learned from Charlotte Joko Beck in her book, Everyday Zen. The problem is our reaction. The external event (someone is rude to you) will always happen, every day, often multiple times a day. We cannot stop others from being rude — but we can change how we react.

If we can react in a calmer, more peaceful manner, we will be happier. We will then act in a more compassionate way, smile, and perhaps the other person will be transformed just a little bit by this act of compassion.

Here’s a short guide to reacting peacefully:

When you notice yourself getting offended, frustrated, angry, irritated, disappointed … pause. Take a breath.Don’t act. Acting in anger is harmful.Examine the idea you have about how they should act. You are holding onto this idea, and it is in conflict with reality. As long as you hold onto fantasies that aren’t in line with reality, you will be frustrated. Try changing all of reality to match your expectations — let me know when you finally succeed.Toss your expectation into the ocean.Smile. Accept the person in front of you, and yourself, as a flawed human.Act with compassion. When you stop blaming the person for not acting perfectly, you can then respond appropriately, and with compassion. Accepting reality doesn’t mean you don’t take action — it just means you let go of the frustration. Instead, you can act appropriately, and be more centered in your actions.

Question: What if people you rely on are careless or irresponsible? Aren’t they the problem, then? Yes, the other person is careless or irresponsible. And this is reality — it will always be this way. You can’t change that, and so the question is, how will you deal with it? You can rage and get mad at them, or you can let go of expectations, breathe, and act appropriately within this reality.?

Toss your expectations into the ocean, smile, and act with compassion. The other person, rude bugger that he is, will never see it coming.

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How to Keep a Conversation Going & Never Run Out of Things to Say

One of the BIGGEST problems you may face when trying to meet new friends is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place, but there is a way to get around it. In the past, I I struggled with this so much that I thought it could never be solved. I even thought it had to do with my DNA or something… but I proved myself wrong when I learned how to solve it. Not knowing how to keep a conversation going can really harm your social life, but if you know how to keep those words flowing, you can meet, talk to, and get to know pretty much anyone you like—creating great possibilities for friendship, fun, and shared activities that you would otherwise have missed out on.

After studying this in depth, I found patterns of behavior that can keep you from making great conversation with people. One of these common behaviors is the habit of filtering—holding back from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make sure that what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting. What does that do to your conversation ability? It kills it! Another problem is not learning to get in the mood for conversation. If you spent a whole day working or studying analytical or logical subjects, and you don’t know how to switch from that, then it can take a lot of time to warm up and start interacting with people socially. You can overcome this simply by learning a few new skills, such as the ones listed below. Once you do that, you’ll be able to talk to new people, and make friends, much more easily.

Let’s get you started with a couple of basic,  yet solid techniques on how to be a great conversationalist:

This is the reflex that allows you to say whatever goes on in your mind. No filtering, no checking with yourself  ”would I sound cool if I say this?”. None of that. The best way to practice this is to start doing it with people you kind of know—do you dare to try it? It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed to say whatever is on your mind, and no-one is going to judge you for it. As long as you don’t say anything that could land you in jail, you’re okay! People don’t care too much about how “awesome” what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on how THEY are coming across. Get it? If so, let’s move on…

This works 99% of the time. It’s a surefire technique, and it works especially well for beginners. People love to know that you’re interested in what they have to say, so if you show some interest, they’ll hang around and want to talk to you even more. All of the “oh! that’s interesting…”, “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that”, “Hmm, cool!”expressions are reactionary bits of conversation that prove to the other person that you’re really listening, and that’s very flattering to them.

Everyone knows that stories juice-up conversations, but most people only talk about stories their own lives. You don’t have to draw from your own experience when speaking with someone: you can use stories from anywhere, from stories that happened to people you know, to those you came across via the radio,TV, magazines, etc. How can you integrate the stories into your conversation? The key is to first realize that you can use them. You’ve already heard them, and the more interesting or weird they are, the harder they are to forget, so you’re all good. Your brain doesn’t lose them. When someone mentions something related to any of them, just tell the story, even if it’s not from your life. It can be any silly story, short or long, interesting, or totally awkward—just use it! People love talking to people who can just share stuff openly like that. These techniques should get you started, but if you want to take it to an advanced level—to the point where you can just have fun when talking to anyone, meet the right people you want in your life, and be able to make friends with them fast—then I recommend that you take a little time to learn more about how conversations work. If you do that, you’ll make conversations far more interesting, with natural ease, avoiding all awkward silences that might prevent you from meeting the right friends that you would love to have around.

[Update: If you're looking for tips on how to start a conversation try the FORM technique]

Featured photo credit:  Two wonderful girls talk and look at the stripped scarf sitting at the desk at the library via Shutterstock

Paul Sanders teaches you how to: Overcome Shyness and Loneliness ; Master Conversation and Critical Social Skills ; Make Friends and Build a Social Circle. You can visit Paul, here: Get The Friends You Want

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Monthly Reminders: Never Forget Your Dog’s Flea Treatment Again!

I have several tasks that should happen on a monthly basis. When they don’t, I stress about it, feel guilty, and sometimes it’s plain dangerous (like forgetting to give my dog her heartworm and flea & tick treatments). In the past, trying to remember these monthly tasks used up a significant amount of energy, which took away from my ability to be creative and productive. These days, I use monthly reminders to remember these tasks.

(Note: There are various systems for managing reminders. I’m not going to get into the various systems in this post. Rather, check out this reminders post for more information.)

Here’s how it’s done:

List Monthly Tasks

The first step is to list out tasks that occur on a monthly basis. Here are some examples from my list:

Administer my dog’s preventative medicationsGet a new razor head for my razorChange contactsReview transactions vs. budget from last monthReview credit card statement

(Note: It’s okay if you can’t think of everything right now. You can always add to the list later!)

Coordinate Monthly Tasks

It’s easiest to manage monthly tasks if you do them all on the same day. Simply pick a day of the month and designate some small portion of it to managing your monthly tasks. I like to do this on the first day of the month, but whatever works for you is perfect.

If your monthly tasks currently are not coordinated on one day, simply stick with the schedule of the more critical tasks (e.g. your pet’s preventative care) and bring your other tasks closer to that day.

Another good reasons for coordinating your monthly tasks is that you cut down on notifications. Notifications can be a real distraction and by consolidating your monthly tasks into one reminder, you cut out a lot of interruptions.

Set up Monthly Reminders

Using your trusted system for reminders, set up a reminder that lists the monthly tasks and will remind you of these tasks on your selected day.

Complete Your Monthly Tasks

This system won’t work at all if you don’t do the tasks. Don’t hit snooze on your monthly reminders. Many of these tasks can be done in less than five minutes. Just do it!

Ideally, since this is a task list, you will also be able to check the items off the list each month. Nothing beats putting that check mark next to a completed task.

Enjoy the Freedom of Clearing Your Mind

Per the GTD philosophy, keeping “tasks lists” in your head is unproductive. You cannot be creative and get things done when your brain is full of “to-dos” and anxiety about whether or not you will remember an important task.

Creating the monthly reminders list is just the beginning. You likely have a multitude of other pending tasks circling around in your head.

For example, right now I’m thinking about the fact that I need to find somebody to fix our central vacuum system before our cleaning service comes on Friday. Why am I thinking about it? Because it hasn’t made its way into my trusted system for remembering things. It’s still on a yellow sticky note on the kitchen counter. What I need to do is add it to my task list (or ideally just pick up the phone and get it done!).

Creating reminders is an ongoing process. It’s never done. But it’s imperative for living a happy, productive life.

Do you have a monthly reminder system? Does it work for you? If not, what do you think you could do differently? Let me read your thoughts in the comments.

(Photo credit: String Tied to Finger via Shutterstock)

Tabita Green is a writer and Internet marketing consultant at Web Gnomes. She is a firm believer in holistic wellness and that simple living and productivity is a crucial component of wellness. Read more about simple wellness on her blog, Simply Enough.

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It’s Never Too Late or Too Early to Start Your Taxes

We are now 15 days into what we all know here in the US as “Tax Season”. And no matter how well prepared you are or think you are for this time of year, fear and overwhelm can definitely set in.

If you are sitting back thinking to yourself, “I have until April 17th. That’s like, what? Two months, right?” you are the prime case of someone that should start your taxes today. Here is a simple run down to help you get your taxes done before the tax man comes and beats down your door.

Mind you, I am no “tax guru”. Ask my wife. I also don’t have very complicated taxes to prepare, although that has changed a bit since I have taken on some consulting and writing work in the last year. That being said, here are some simple preparations to do your taxes yourself:

Collect – Yep, sort of like GTD. Make sure that you have all of your W2 forms as well as any type of forms sent to you from school, or supplemental income forms (invoices, receipts, etc.). Just gather everything up in a folder and make sure you have it all in once place. You could even scan it in and keep it digitally. If you have any information from your spouse that is needed, grab that too.Double check – Sit down with all of your paperwork and make sure that it is all there. Make a note of anything missing or anything that is incorrect about the paperwork and start calling around to get your questions answered. If you have paperwork that doesn’t match up to paperwork sent from your employer, take care of it immediately.If your taxes are relatively simple (a handful of W2s and maybe some supplemental income) then block out at least 3 hours to complete them as well as 1 more hour a day or two later to review them before submitting them. It’s good to give yourself a little time after filling them out to make sure everything is correct and accurate.

There are some great apps nowadays that can help you take care of your taxes. The most popular being TurboTax, yet there have been new apps that have sprung-up the last few years that work just as well.

One such piece of software was presented to me from a friend called FreeTaxUSA. It’s all done online, which can always be a little scary, but I and many others haven’t had any issue. The nice thing about FreeTaxUSA is that Federal Income Tax e-filing is free and State filing is only $9.99. FreeTaxUSA also keeps your information for the next year so you don’t have to do as much work, allows you to print out and save your filed taxes, and gives you all the information that you would need if you were audited (even audit assistance for a small fee). Not too shabby.

Working through FreeTaxUSA is pretty easy, especially for people that don’t have complicated taxes. However, I did have a little trouble this year taking care of my “business income” from all of my side work. I don’t think that it was the software’s fault; more of an “I’m sort of new to this and I don’t really know what I’m doing” type of problem.

If you are struggling using the self-service tax apps, then maybe someone that you know who is knowledgeable can help you out. Or, there is always just biting the bullet and taking them to a professional.

If you had a rough time preparing your taxes this year, start keeping track of and organizing your information today for next year’s dreaded tax season. We have talked about going paperless this year, so a good thing to do would be invest in a decent scanner and start digitizing all of your important documents. This will keep your stress level down to a minimum during tax season 2013.

Another good thing to do if you make some money on the side, would be to use a tool like FreshBooks to keep track of all of your invoicing. It’s a great to make the difficult act of invoicing not that difficult. It also gives you full functionality for three clients for free. FreshBooks is quite the helpful tool at tax time for anyone that has their own business or side work.

Just remember to try and keep track of everything that will be used for next year’s taxes. Add a reminder to your weekly review to “tie up tax’s loose ends”. This will keep you sane next year.

Yes, tax season does suck. And not just because you have to give the Government all of your money, but because it can be stressful and fear-inducing, especially when you don’t know what you are doing. But remember; it’s only scary and overwhelming if you let it be. Instead, prepare for your taxes, execute, and re-prepare every year to reduce the “tax season overwhelm”.

(Photo credit: Dollar concept with silver dollar via Shutterstock)

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Never Forget Your Past Successes

The first award I ever won in my life that I remember was a yellow second place ribbon for an egg and spoon race when I was in senior Kindergarten. I actually still have that ribbon among other similar little awards I received during my childhood years. They have been safely stored in a metal candy box all these years.

Significant certificates, diplomas and even university degrees have also been placed in file folders in my home office as well. Work related awards like plaques I received for corporate sales performance were bundled together in a tote bag. Although I use to display them on my wall when I was still in corporate life, I no longer have them out since I decided to go for a more artistic home styling with real artwork instead.

In my case, the bulk of my awards are in the form of a few hundred trophies of varying sizes from a few inches to a multilevel one that stands almost eight feet tall. These trophies plus many plaques and medals were won from my long career in martial arts competition that spanned over twenty years.

When I use to live in smaller high rise condo apartments, I had no choice but to have these trophies lined up a few rows deep that took up an entire living room wall. I even had some of the plaques in my bathrooms. Needless to say, this sight overwhelmed a lot of my visitors especially when they came to my place for the first time.

Although most of my guests were very impressed, I did receive some negative reactions, usually from girlfriends after a certain dating period. Once they were comfortable enough with me, a few of them actually told me that I should throw my trophies out since they were just taking up space and collecting dust.

These women were obviously thinking from a home decor point of view and in some ways, their point was valid. However, at the same time, they also completely missed out on something important. There is a reason why I, along with many other people in this world, have not thrown out the awards we have won. These awards are not simply just dust collectors.

Past awards and other mementos of our achievements serve as reminders of our past successes. Everybody goes through ups and downs in life. It is during those down periods when past successes become especially helpful.

Instead of just sitting there sulking when we are down and challenged by whatever life throws at us, we should be remembering how we have conquered obstacles to become successful in the past. We should recall despite the challenges, how we were able to work through them and still achieve victory.

Physical reminders of past victories such as trophies or certificates act to trigger these events back into our minds. We will then feel a surge of confidence as we realize that if we were successful before, then we can become successful again.

These reminders help us remember that although we might lose the odd battle, we can still win the overall war. Past successes do not have to be exactly related to current challenges either. My past successes in martial arts continue to help boost my confidence in many different challenges I face and many of these are not related to martial arts in any way whatsoever.

So keep all the reminders of your achievements so that you never forget your past successes, especially during times when you can really use a boost.  Although you don’t necessarily have to display them in prominent locations around the house, at least have them somewhere where you can easily access them to rekindle the wonderful memories behind them.

I did not keep my trophies to impress anyone. I kept them for myself as reminders of past successes when I need them. The only thing different these days is that I have a bigger house and therefore do not have to have my awards in my living room and bathrooms anymore. I now have a separate trophy room in my basement. This should keep the girlfriends from complaining.

Clint Cora is a motivational speaker, author & Karate World Champion based near Toronto, Canada. Get his FREE 3-part Personal Development Video Series on how to expand your comfort zone and finally conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

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Why You Should Never Make Wishes

Next time you come across a wishing well or fountain, don’t fall for it. You can still pitch in a coin or two if it’s for a good cause but just don’t make a wish like you are suppose to. In fact, you should NEVER make wishes if you want to be successful at anything.

Too often we end up wishing for things. We wish we could have more money. We wish we could be better looking. We wish we could be in better shape.

What I would like to do is propose that you wipe out the word ‘wish’ from your vocabulary. Instead, replace it with the word ‘commitment’. So instead of making wishes for the things you want in life, make commitments instead.

When I do my motivational keynotes, I tell my audiences to make ‘fully committed decisions’. That is, they should make strong decisions to pursue their goals with total commitment instead of just wishing to become successful.

This may seem like a simple play on words to some people but there is indeed a significant difference between making totally committed decisions and simply making wishes. Whenever commitment is involved, there will be a much stronger incentive to take whatever action is required to work towards achieving your goals.

Early on in my martial arts competition career, I marveled at the World Champions I saw. I wished that I could perform martial arts at their level. I wished that I could become a World Champion myself. I trained regularly but didn’t really excel in competition at the beginning.

Then instead of merely wishing to become a World Champion, I made a totally committed decision to try my darn hardest to work towards a World Championship title. I decided that I would do whatever it takes to win. I even had this down on paper.

This commitment automatically resulted in certain actions that I didn’t do before. In addition to committing myself to a strict training schedule, I booked myself to attend more major tournaments across the continent just so I could get more exposure to the top competitors in order to learn from their performances. I accepted that fact that I wasn’t going to win right away at these bigger events.

I also found and connected with a few past World Champions. These past champions were in the position to offer me some private coaching sessions even though I had to fly somewhere to meet up with them (and pay hefty fees). My justification was that the best people to learn from are those who have already accomplished what you are aiming to do.

I don’t remember exactly when I made this mindshift from just wishing to actually making a totally committed decision to become a World Champion. But I do know that the progress was not quick. However, there was steady progress over several years and in 1999, I finally became a Karate World Champion for the very first time.

So based on my experiences so far, here are the major steps to move from simple wishes to major commitments for your success.

Identify what you wish for in life (career, health, finances, relationships, etc.)Extract the goals you are willing to make fully committed decisions onWrite these fully committed decisions down on paper and sign it as a self contractAnnounce these commitments to others

The reason why this mindshift works is because commitment does interesting things to our heads. It helps set us up in a way so that we end up doing the things we have to do in order to become successful. Making totally committed decisions will have a positive, profound impact on your life.

Please feel free to share what commitments you have made in your life below.

Clint Cora is a motivational speaker, author & Karate World Champion based near Toronto, Canada. Get his FREE 3-part Personal Development Video Series on how to expand your comfort zone and finally conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

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Why I’ll NEVER Cut Up My Credit Cards

It’s been just over two years since I got my first credit card. I now have three and I’m never looking back. Ah, credit cards. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

·         Credit cards track my spending. The problem with withdrawing money from an ATM and paying for everything in cash is that you often struggle to remember exactly where your money went. With credit cards, I can review the statements every month and reconcile each line item to my Quicken records to make sure even a few bucks here and there are properly accounted for. I couldn’t do that with cash.

·         Credit cards boost my credit score. As a college graduate with no student loan, no car repayments, and no mortgage, credit cards have helped me ‘get into the system’ and build a strong credit profile. By using them wisely, I’ve already qualified for lower rates that I can take advantage of when I eventually buy a house. If it weren’t for credit cards, I’d pretty much be off the financial grid.

·         Credit cards give me awesome rewards. Each of my credit cards rewards me in a very useful way. One gives me up to 33% off food. Another lets me earn interest on any positive balance at a rate banks would only offer if I locked in a far higher amount for a far longer time. But my favourite is a 90% discount on my monthly membership to an amazing gym. This includes free wireless internet, not to mention unlimited classes like yoga and FUN’k off (don’t ask), for just $7 a month! When’s the last time cash treated you so well?

At this point, you might be feeling uncomfortable. Heck, you might be downright appalled. But please put down the pitchfork and step away from the comments. Allow me to offer some clarification before you write me off as yet another 25-year old on the road to disaster and destitution:

·         I am NOT advocating excess spending. Most people avoid credit cards because they’re too much of a temptation to overspend. Given that the key to wealth is to spend less than you earn, this makes perfect sense. Credit cards should NEVER be used to spend money on things you can’t afford. In other words, NEVER buy on credit what you can’t already buy using cash. Period. I’ve never been a particularly extravagant person, which is why I actually like the fact that I’ve had the same pair of All Stars for about five years. My credit cards are only used for things I can already afford (mostly things I have to buy anyway), which is why the charges only amount to around 25% of my income every month. Nothing gets charged that cannot be paid.

·         I am NOT advocating getting into debt. Another reason people avoid using credit cards is because they fear debt. This makes sense too. Debt. It’s a horrible word that conjures up images of shackles and a burdened life. But not all debt needs to be portrayed so negatively. One of the key things I learned at Rich Dad Coaching (and wrote about in The Beauty of Debt) is the distinction between good debt and bad dad. Good debt, like that used by Robert Kiyosaki to buy investment properties or that used by Bill Bartmann to become one of the 25 richest people in America, puts money in your pocket. Yes, credit card debt is bad debt, but it won’t cost you a cent as long as you ALWAYS pay the balance off in full (and can negotiate waived annual fees). This means your cash can stay in the bank longer (earning interest as it does so) and only be used to pay off the debt when the due date arrives. In some cases, that can be as far as 55 days away. Score!

·         I am NOT advocating getting credit cards purely for rewards. Too many people have been tempted by the promise of low rates and other amazing benefits only to find that they were temporary offers at best. Before settling on a card, make sure you do proper research and read the fine print. Since interest rates only matter if you have existing debt that you’re trying to consolidate, you have total freedom to find a card that works for your situation. Your best bet is to find one that rewards you for purchases at stores you already use all the time and/or rewards you with benefits you can actually take advantage of. Perhaps you’ll get lucky and score a free European trip!

In conclusion, I hope it’s clear that credit cards are not the homewreckers everyone paints them out to be. If you already have a good dose of financial discipline (control your expenses by spending less than you earn) and use them with wise self-control (pay off the FULL balance every single month), they can be a really great part of your overall plan. But if you don’t and won’t, then burn this post immediately (figuratively, of course) and stick to what you know.

What do you think? Have any of you had good success with credit cards to help me build my case? Would you share your story in the comments, pretty please?

Eugene shares his love for reading and personal development by publishing weekly book summaries and reviews at eugeneyiga.com. He’s also on a quest to read the 100 greatest books of all time before he turns 30 and gives away free stuff without making you join his mailing list. Follow Eugene on Twitter for instant updates and alerts.

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The Most Important Question You've Probably Never Asked

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