Don’t Freak Out: How You Can Suppress Stress When Meeting VIPs You Admire

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Reduce Stress By Avoiding The Holiday Blues

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Reduce Stress Levels and Increase Your Willpower Using These 3 Stress Reduction Techniques

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17 Ways to Remove Stress From Your Life

Feeling stressed? Is it such a common feeling that you don’t remember what it’s like not to be stressed? Well, Dumb Little Man has all the tips you could ever need to finally rid your life of all that stress once and for all. While you might not think you’ll want to try all of these techniques because there are so darn many, they are all pretty easy and doing them will make a big difference in your overall mood and mental well-being.

A few of our favorite techniques include:

Stop being so hard on yourselfStop being so hard on other peopleGive up on holding grudgesRemove all or nothing thinkingStop sweating the small stuffStop telling yourself you hate exerciseBan technology from the bedroomEnd exercise worrying

Original Source – Dumb Little Man

Featured photo credit: boydoistinkvia Flickr

Jill Harness is a freelance writer, amateur chef, and a sucker for animals. She writes for a number of websites, including Rue The Day, InventorSpot, Oddee and Mental Floss. While not typing on her computer, Jill spends her time playing video games, cuddling with her dog and visiting Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo.

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Life Is Stressful! Here Are 17 Ways to Relax and Reduce Stress at Home That Anyone Can Use.

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How to Manage Your Customer’s Stress

You’ve probably heard the old joke, “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?”

Answer: “Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change!”

The same can be said for managing other peoples’ emotions. A person’s feelings are under their own control, and our attempts to intervene can only do so much.

But it’s that little space of “so much” that might make a difference in the stress level of your customer.

If you’re a contractor or home improvement specialist, you know well the stress your client is under as they watch their home being torn apart and wait for their lives to be back to normal.

However, if you’re a business person of any kind who deals with customers, the following tips on how to help manage your customer’s stress are meant for you.

It’s helpful to notice when your customer is first starting to feel stressed. Hopefully, you can head off the full-blown stress stampede at the pass and keep things calm right away.

Look for the following signs of stress:

Anger. Is your customer starting to get short with you? Are they interrupting you? Is his voice getting louder? Is her face getting red? Try not to get defensive, just notice that your customer is likely angry because they are beginning to be stressed and utilize one of the interventions below.Anxiety. Do you notice that your customer is starting to fret about things? Are they asking a lot of “what if” questions? They might even tell you directly that they’re nervous. Anxiety can be a good indicator of stress.Calling (or emailing) you constantly. Your customer might be calling you more than usual, asking where his product is, when her kitchen is going to be done, or when you’re going to finish that website for them.Crying. This is a response that might make you very uncomfortable. Try not to worry about it too much, though. Some people really need to cry to get their feelings out, while others are just people who cry easily. It may not have anything to do with you, but it still is a sign of stress that you may want to attend to.Being quieter than usual. Sometimes people have a bit of a contrary response when they are starting to feel stress. They get very quiet. If your customer is usually genial and chatty and they suddenly become quiet, pay attention to this.

It’s hard not to feel uncomfortable when our customer is starting to get angry, anxious, or — heaven forbid — begins to cry.

Be aware of your own feelings of discomfort with your customer’s stress so that you don’t do anything that might make the situation worse like:

Discount or minimize their feelings. Saying things like, “It’s not that big of a deal. Don’t worry about it,” only discounts the feelings and message your customer is trying to give you. And it will likely end up in them becoming more angry or anxious, rather than feeling reassured.Placate them. Similar to above, saying something like, “Everything is going to be fine,” is really an attempt to make you feel better by distracting them with platitudes!

The reality is that when we allow people to talk about their feelings, it actually helps to not only feel a sense of relief, but also helps them begin to understand their problem more as they are talking it out.

What’s the real trick to helping customers manage their stress? To not only hear what your customers are saying, but to attend to it. Otherwise known as . . .

Anyone can hear words, but to actually listen is a skill. Here are a couple of ways you can let your customer know you’re really listening.

One of the best ways to show someone that you’re listening to them is to reflect the feeling that you’re experiencing.

Saying something as simple as, “I can see that you’re really upset” or “It sounds like this is making you a bit nervous,” can go a long way in showing your customer that you really understand what is happening with them.

First and foremost, remember that your customer’s problem may seem like a small matter to you, but it’s huge to them, otherwise they wouldn’t bring it up. Try these ideas to indicate that you are actively hearing what they are saying.

Look them in the eyes. You don’t need to have a stare down, but it will help you to appear attentive when you look your customer in the eyes as she is talking and when you’re talking.Don’t do something else while they’re talking. Put everything else down and listen. Don’t hammer a nail, ring up another customer, or multi-task. Continue to look them in the eyes and give them your full attention.Ask questions for your own clarification. Not only will this help you understand their problem better, but it gives your customer the message that you are truly interested in helping them. And it can help them build a framework that puts their problem into a perspective that both of you can work with.Tell them a similar experience you’ve had. Be careful with this one! While telling a story about your own feelings of stress during a similar situation can convince your customer you know where he’s coming from, it’s vital that you don’t hijack the conversation and get carried away with your own story. You’re supposed to help your customer, not the other way around!

Finally, here are a couple more techniques that can help your customer feel at ease.

See if there is a small part of the larger problem you can help with. Is there something you can do that will help them feel like action is being taken on their problem? Can you install the toilet in the refinished bathroom? Deliver an outline of the project they desperately need? Tell them you’ll call your distributor to see when the product they ordered is due? Even small progress can help restore their confidence.Give them as much information as possible. As much as you can, tell your customer what the process is for their project or product. Time frames, outlines, and possible setbacks all give them an idea of what to expect so their stress level doesn’t run too high.Take a deep breath to trigger them to take one. Deep breaths can be very helpful in decreasing the stress response and, like yawning, people will often mimic the behavior of another. So take a deep breath and maybe it will prompt your customer to take one, too. (Just make sure your deep breath doesn’t sound like a sigh of exasperation!)

I hope some of these ideas help you in working with customers who are feeling a lot of stress. Beyond these, though, remember that you can’t fully control someone else’s feelings. Make sure you don’t stress yourself out by trying too hard to influence your customer’s emotions.

Everyone feels overwhelmed and stressed sometimes.: 7 Simple Ways to Lower Your Stress in 15 Minutes or Less

Featured photo credit: stressed man. emotion portrait via Shutterstock

Bobbi Emel is a psychotherapist in Palo Alto, Ca. who helps you bounce back from life's significant challenges. You can read more of her writing about resilience at www.thebounceblog.com.

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5 Ways to Reduce Stress and Anxiety at Work

Stress at work can be a result of too many short deadlines, a pushy boss, too many major projects and more. Whatever the cause of your workplace anxiety though, you can reduce the associated stress through these five simple steps from Dumb Little Man:

Prepare for the pressure. If you know you’re going to have a high pressure situation coming up, get ready for it so you can go into it with the right mindset and tackle issues as quickly and efficiently as possible.Know when to say “no.” Taking on too many tasks is a surefire way to stress yourself out and ensure you do a medoicre job on many projects rather than a great job on a few.Refuse to climb the molehill. This one is simple: don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.Relax your muscles. Feeling relaxed physically will make you feel relaxed mentally as well.Cultivate positive thinking. Seeing the bright side of things can help you make the best out of any situation and fight anxiety in the worst conditions.

Learn how to use each of these suggestions to minimize stress, the ten habits suggested in the article are: 10 Habits to Reduce the Stress in Your Daily Life

Featured photo credit: sad unhappy girl in the autumn forest, stress, depression via Shutterstock

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10 Ways to Reduce Stress at Work That Could Save Your Life

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Reduce Stress and Anxiety: 5 Effective Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety at Work

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5 Powerful Ways to Relieve Stress

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time , and that’s OK as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad) they get stressed.

This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate. It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress. Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it.  You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

SEE ALSO: 7 Simple Ways to Lower Your Stress in 15 Minutes or Less

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.

St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.

Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

Now it’s your turn: what do you do when you’re overly stressed? What works, what doesn’t? Tell us in the comments below!

SEE ALSO: 45-Second De-Stress Tips

Featured photo credit: dark portrait via Shutterstock Cece Suwal and Mark Brener are coauthors of the national bestseller, A Guide To Your Supreme Power and cofounders of The One World Initiative, where you can discover your path to money, love, power, success, life purpose, and meaning. Get your free course on how to be happy and subscribe to their blog to learn how to become rich!

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Untrack: Letting Go of the Stress of Measuring

‘You can’t manage what you don’t measure.’ ~old management adage

‘You can’t manage without pleasure.’ ~Leo Babauta

There are a few old management adages that seem to run like a current through our society, powering our work and personal lives: “You can’t manage what you don’t measure” and “You are what you measure” and “You get what you measure”.

And I’ve fallen for it myself. At various times, I’ve tracked workouts, miles run, everything I’ve eaten, every single work task I complete, progress towards goals, my weight, my body fat percentage, how many days I’ve done a habit in a month, words written each day, books I’ve read, expenses, earnings, debt, website visitors, ad clicks, tweets, followers, and on and on. Sometimes I’ve tracked a few of these at the same time.

I’m not alone — there are people who track the most minute details of their lives, from heartbeats to steps walked to hours slept (and quality of the sleep) to emails sent. As a society, we’re tracking and measuring more than ever before.

What’s the theory here? And is it true? And is it necessary?

The theory behind measuring: is that unless you measure something you don’t know if it is getting better or worse. You can’t manage for improvement if you don’t measure to see what is getting better and what isn’t.

And to some extent, this is true.

If you measure how many hours you spent writing, it’s very possible that that number will increase, simply because you are measuring it, more aware of it, more focused on it, and motivated for that number to increase. If you measure miles run, that number will likely improve (until you get injured or burnt out).

But how do you measure the hills you ran during those miles, or the spurts of speed you occasionally threw in, or the enjoyment of the view? How do you measure the great conversations you had with your wife as you did those runs? How do you track the ideas you had on the run, the health benefit of the runs, the new places you explored? You could try to track all of these things, but then you’d be tracking 20 things instead of just miles run.

Work is the same way — you can measure 1 or 10 metrics for productivity, but does it measure the relationships you’ve built with your readers or customers, or the enjoyment you’ve gotten doing the work, or the things you’ve learned by making mistakes, or the pure joy you’ve gotten in making someone’s life better? Go ahead and try to measure that.

When you track a metric, such as hours or dollars or miles, you are saying that’s more important than all the things that can’t be measured. You put that in the forefront of your head as the thing that must be improved, at the cost of all else. What about relationships and joy? Are those less important?

Then there are other problems with tracking and measuring everything:

It takes time to measure and track — that’s valuable time you could have spent doing or living.It creates a mindset that we must always improve, always measure, always manage things, always strive for better, better, better. What about learning to be happy with yourself? What about focusing on joy and compassion and people you love? When does the improving stop? Are we ever satisfied? And is that the point of living — to improve endlessly, to always make things better, and never be happy with where we are?It’s stressful to measure and track a lot of things, and it’s disappointing if those numbers don’t go up, or don’t go up as much as we’d hoped.We have to choose what to measure, and how do we know we’re choosing the right thing? Why is that thing the only thing that matters? It’s a narrowing way of looking at life.It doesn’t improve happiness. It doesn’t make us content. It doesn’t keep us in the moment.

I could go on and on. Measurement and tracking are tools, and there’s nothing wrong with using them. I’ve obviously used them many times, and still recommend them to most people. I just think we should consider whether there are alternatives, and question our dogma, and experiment to see what works best for us.

So how do you work & live if you’re not tracking and measuring? My wife Eva asked me this today when we were on our run — she really wants to keep track of her runs (miles and time and pace) so she can be motivated to improve and keep doing it. I said it’s not necessary.

Let’s take the example of a mother or father — do we measure all the activities we do as parents, so we are motivated to improve and keep doing it? Do we measure:

Hugs givenTime spent reading to kidsTime spent preparing meals for themFixing their booboosTaking them to the playground or parkPlaying catch with themHelping them shower or get dressedTeaching them a new skillSnuggling or lazing around together

And so on. No, we just do all of that and more. Why? How is it possible to do all of that without the motivation of tracking?

It’s simple: we do those things because we love them, and we love our kids.

We are also motivated to learn more about being parents, to see if there are better ways of doing things, not by the measuring and tracking, but because we love being parents and want to be good parents. No tracking needed.

What about running? Can’t we run for the joy of it? Aren’t we motivated to do it because we love ourselves? And who cares if we run more miles or not? That’s an arbitrary goal that really means nothing. Just run because it’s super fun, for the enjoyment of nature and great views, for the simple but boundless pleasure of a conversation with someone you love.

What about work? Are we going to all of a sudden stop doing anything because it’s not measured? I say no.

I’ve been working for a little while now without tracking anything, and lo and behold, my work goes on. I do it because it gives me joy. I do it because I love all of you, my dear readers, and would keep doing it without pay and even if whatever numbers I decided to measure went down the tubes and into the netherworld. That’s why we do things, not because we want numbers to get better. The numbers are meaningless, arbitrary, limiting, narrow, and without heart.

Do for the love of doing, for the love of others. That’s unmeasurable, and profoundly life changing.

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4 Ways to Quickly Rid Yourself of Too Much Stress

We have all had our share of the not so great days where everything seems to go wrong. You miss your morning alarm, get stuck in traffic, forget about that important meeting and get tail ended in the evening. And you think to yourself, could it get any worse?

Little everyday anxieties cause us much more harm than major setbacks in life. The job rejection is forgotten in a few days and the break up in a few months while rush hour traffic and waiting in line at grocery stores is encountered day after day and year after year. There is no escape from the everyday hassles of life, the only thing you can do is learn to de-stress, no matter where you are and not let the little things bother you.

Here are some instant ways to relax, rejuvenate and get ready to face the world all over again.

Take a Deep Breath

Under stressful situations we tend to take short breaths making it difficult for our bodies to relax. This in turn reduces are patience level and makes decision making a more challenging task.

Stuck in traffic and running late? Well there’s only so much you can do even if you decide to become that crazy driver trying to switch lanes with bumper to bumper traffic. Try something different for a change: take a few deep breaths like you would in a yoga class, the “breatheeee innn, breatheeee outtt” kinds.

Though this will not help you get to your destination any quicker, it will for a moment empty your brain of the million thoughts running through it and calm your mind. The more stressed you are, the faster you age. Do you really want rush hour traffic to be the dominant cause of you looking older?

Music

Remember the time when you were having a bad day and suddenly the radio played your favourite song? Instantly every cell in your body was happy, the worries of the world were lost and nothing else mattered at that moment. You were happy  and refreshed even after a very long day and excited all over again. Hope was in the air, love for the radio jockey and people around you wondered what made you smile.

The right kind of music can do wonders to your mood, from filling your heart with joy to reminding you of a heart ache, instantly you enter a different world filled with strong emotions and memories. If there’s so much potential in music, why not use it to your advantage? Feeling low? Put on your favourite music and your tapping shoes and take a break from the worries of the world. Waiting in traffic won’t seem as bad as you groove to your favourite beat and the long lines up not as long when you are lost in long forgotten memories.

Exercise

Though this may not sound like the most alluring option, its benefits are incomparable. Not only does your body get the well needed workout, the anger and frustration is taken out on the treadmill instead. The mind is now relaxed and the body too tired to cause anyone any harm. Either you’ve solved the cause of your stress while you were panting for breath or you’ve drained out the extra energy in you to worry any further. Most of our little worries disappear over night and we start the new day wondering why it bugged us in the first place.

Connect with Nature and just ‘Be’

Not only is this a great stress reliever, it is also a good way to convert negative energy into something constructive. Get back to an old hobby or try something new. Learn to paint or try new dance moves instead. This will keep your mind focused on things you enjoy and your body active.

When you’re having too much fun in life, the little things don’t bug you as much. It will be much easier to ignore the not-so-cordial co-worker or the rude cashier. Maybe they were having a bad day, why let their day affect yours?

(Photo credit: Stress via Shutterstock)

Vibha Dhawan is an engineer during the day, a writer by night and a non-conformist by nature. She enjoys travelling, yoga and writing about life on her blog Curious Lounge. Connect with her via Twitter @curiouslounge.

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Four Effective Natural Stress Remedies

We know for a fact that stress can crop up anywhere and that it has become an unavoidable part of life. Although we cannot eliminate stress completely, we need to make sure that we keep our stress within healthy levels or we could end up suffering from health problems that are commonly associated with excessive stress levels.

There are so many practical and simple ways to deal with stress, but only very few people actually make use of them. That’s because in this hectic and fast-paced environment we are exposed to we are in demand for instant gratification — and instant stress relief solutions are no exception.

More and more people are resorting to prescription drugs to control and relieve stress; the most common stress-relief drugs fall under the classification of antidepressants and anxiolytics. Although these medications can be effective in alleviating the symptoms associated with stress, they have also been shown to have adverse effects to some users. There are options for natural relief from stress and below are some simple and natural stress remedies which have been proven to help keep stress levels down:

Your choices of food greatly affect your health and your general sense of well being. Although it should be everyones goal to have a well-balanced diet to make the body stronger and better able to deal with the negative effects of stress, there are certain foods that you need to remember when feeling especially stressed out. Stay away from caffeinated drinks, sugary treats and fatty foods during stressful periods as they are stimulating and can aggravate stress. Instead, your choices of food should include foods like:

Soy productsDairy (in moderation)FishPoultryLambBeefFruitsLeafy green vegetablesLegumesEggsAvocadoBananasWhole grains

You probably already know that exercise does your body good, but you may not know that there is a significant connection between exercise and stress. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which are hormones that fight stress and exercise also helps get your mind off your problems and clears your head. Virtually any form of exercise, from aerobics to weightlifting, can act as a stress reliever. Some exercises are better than others in relieving stress, like aerobic exercises, Yoga, Tai Chi and Pilates. However, your choice of physical activity should still depend upon your interest and physical condition.

The soothing power of music is well-established. Listening to the right music can have a tremendously relaxing effect on your mind and body, especially slow, quiet classical music. This type of music has been shown to have a beneficial effect on your physiological functions, slowing the pulse and heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and decreasing the levels of stress hormones. Other than its direct effect to the system, music can absorb your attention, act as a distraction and give you time for self-discovery.

Aromatherapy is basically defined as a form of alternative medicine in which certain scents are inhaled to achieve therapeutic benefit. The effectiveness of aromatherapy in helping soothe and calm the emotions has long been proven. Research suggests odor molecules affect certain brain areas that control emotional memories, heart rate, blood pressure, hormone balance and stress levels. The most commonly used scent for relaxation is lavender. So if you need to relax, light a lavender-scented candle or drop a few drops of lavender oil in a diffuser and inhale the soothing scents.

Stress in moderation can pep up your life, keep you sharp and help you accomplish things. The issues begin when stress becomes too much, it can lead to mental, physical and emotional problems. It is important that you know how to manage stress efficiently as the levels of stress that you are experiencing significantly affects the quality of your life.

I am Kara Heissman. I have seen over the years how the quality of people's lives are reduced by their inability to find solutions for certain difficulties in their lives. With the great want to help, I have decided to share my experiences, knowledge and insights with the aim to help everyone live the life that they deserve--happy, healthy and fulfilled. I have my own self-improvement blog contentedlife.org but I have also written for various sites within the same subject area. My writings mainly revolve around stress, self esteem and health and fitness.

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The 5 Commandments for Saving Time and Reducing Stress

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How to Avoid Burn Out: 10 Symptoms of Severe Stress

Each individual has a unique tolerance level for how much physical and emotional stress they can endure before something starts to give. Far too often people ignore the warning signs that their stress levels are becoming unmanageable and it takes a crisis of some kind to get them to change.

A couple of years ago I was rushing to work and made the split-second decision to keep going through a light when I knew very well that it was going to turn red. Moments later I was pulled over by an irate cop and on the receiving end of the full extent of his wrath along with a major ticket. As I waited for him to return to my car, I started to cry, not with frustration or self-pity but out of sheer relief that I hadn’t caused an accident.

The irony of this story was that I was on my way to give a seminar about how to manage stress and avoid burnout. I felt so profoundly grateful that I had received a wake up call without hurting someone else in the process. It really seemed like an enormous blessing in disguise and ever since then I have referred to this occasion as the time I received a speeding ticket from God.

My wish for you is that you don’t wait until something goes wrong or until your health begins to suffer to pay attention.

Excessive stress manifests physically and emotionally in a variety of ways.  Here is a list of some common ones.

Change in appetite. Losing or gaining weight is often a clear indicator that things are getting out of hand. Food may lose it’s appeal, or if you are like many people, you may find yourself downing too many of what I like to call “consolation calories”. If you notice that you have a stress-activated sweet tooth, you may be seeking comfort. If it is more generalized over consumption, you maybe trying to stuff your feelings down along with the extra food.Drinking etc. Monitor your alcohol consumption, that goes for any drug of your choice – including the more subtle forms of escapism like excess TV watching.Sleep. Losing sleep or can’t get enough of it; either way you will notice that you are feeling tired all the time. Ironically, increased exercise will give you more energy and creating soothing bedtime routines may also help.Tolerance. One of the more unpleasant side-effects of your stress for those around you is a decreased level of patience. Notice if you find yourself snapping at people; for me how I react to drivers cutting me off is a great litmus test.Memory. Short term memory problems can also be an indicator of stress. Concentration can also be affected.Getting sick.  Stress has a direct effect on your immune system. More frequent colds can sometimes reveal that your body is taking notice before your mind.Clumsiness.  “Less Haste, More Speed.” I find that I become more clumsy and less coordinated when very stressed, although it’s hard to discern how much of this is due to rushing.Relationships.  For an instant reality check on your stress level, ask the people closest to you. They will be able to inform you whether you have been neglecting them and also whether they think you have been taking your stress out on them.Humor. How often are you laughing and smiling? If you can’t remember the last time, you have definitely been taking life too seriously for too long.Futility. A sense of hopelessness about what feels like endless burdens and a lack of purpose can also be clues.

This list is just a starting point.

Some of these may seem irrelevant or conversely, glaringly obvious. You might be able to come up with three of four more that I haven’t even mentioned right off the bat. You are the expert. The most important thing is that you start to become more conscious of how you are doing before you reach breaking point.

Start to develop your own list of red flags and warning signs, so you can take evasive action and avoid burning out.

Mirabai Galashan MTh. is a leading advocate for Quality of Life. She is a healthcare chaplain and is certified in critical incident stress management. Mirabai has a masters in Spirituality and Health and over 20 years' experience as a professional practitioner of complementary therapies. Mirabai has a private practice offering counseling, coaching and holistic healing to individuals, couples and groups. Learn more at http://mirabaigalashan.com/.

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10 Mindful Minutes: Giving Our Children--and Ourselves--the Social and Emotional Skills to Reduce Stress and Anxiety for Healthier, Happy Lives

"Goldie Hawn embodies delight and joy, and 10 Mindful Minutes radiates these. Her book can help any adult-parent, grandparent, teacher-make double use of their moments with the children they love and have a terrific time while helping shape that child's brain for a lifetime of resilience and happiness."
-Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

Across the country, the revolutionary MindUP program, which was developed under the auspices of the Hawn Foundation, established by Goldie Hawn, is teaching children vital social and emotional skills. By understanding how their brains work, children discover where their emotions come from and become more self-aware. They learn to appreciate the sensory aspects of their lives and to value the positive effects of mindfulness, compassion, and kindness. This, in turn, empowers them to manage and reduce their own stress-and helps them be happy.

Those who have seen the remarkable effects of this program have been eager to learn how to implement it in their own homes and use its practices for themselves, too. Now, for the first time, its secrets are being shared with all parents and children in 10 Mindful Minutes.

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Dealing With Stress: The Stop, Look and Listen Method

Think of your last hell task week. What exactly constitutes a “HTW”? Think of those weeks when you have to deliver that huge, vital project. You know, while also dealing with a computer crash, 40 urgent emails per day and your boss giving you a ton of ‘I want this by tomorrow’ tasks. That’s “HTW”.

You probably fear these weeks, and barely remember how you dealt with them after they are over. I want to share with you my method to dealing with them systematically.

To deal with “HTW” I use a method I call Stop, look & listen. It is very simple, and you can apply it to every stressful situation.

Shut your door, and put up a huge paper sign with “Do not disturb” on it. You can add the drawing of a skull, or the international signs for danger or death. Be creative, but make sure no one will open your door until you remove the sign unless the building is on fire or Godzilla is destroying the city.

If you have office mates, make clear to them you will be unavailable for a while. You can put your earphones in, (I personally love headphones that cancel ambient noise. For example, I use a pair of in-ear Sennheiser). Keep a baseball bat or some other menacing piece of office supplies just in case someone wants to ask you something. If you work in an open office, try wearing something that indicates ‘don’t disturb’. My girlfriend, for example, wears a hat when she can’t be interrupted, as a cue to her office mates.

Disconnect your office phone and your cell phone. Don’t worry, this will only take half an hour or so, the likelihood of something really critical happening are much like 0. Of course, Murphy’s law can decide to trick you and you lose an important call. Don’t worry, they’ll call again. Close your email, Twitter, chat and whatever things connect you to the outside world.

Give your mind at least 5 minutes of relaxation. No stressful calls, no deliveries, nothing. Just relax for a while and think about nothing. You need it. You know you need it, too. Just do it, now is the moment. Think about your favourite relaxing place, think of you as a rock: unmovable by external forces.

Write down all your outstanding tasks. All that stuff that you need to get done this week, no matter who you have to kidnap or how many nights without sleeping you need to endure. Write down your appointments (dinner with X, kids game, vet visit) and usual time consuming commitments (prepare company newsletter, take the dog out).

Take a look at this list, and then remove at least 20% of the tasks. Either delegate them, postpone them, or just remove them.

Now, see if you can get rid of another 20% of that same list.

Delegate as many as you can, even if you need to ask for some favour from your coworkers (please find me the numbers for this report and next Monday I’ll take care of the server problems) or your family (This week I can’t take the dog out, but I’ll compensate next week by also preparing dinner).

Now, although it sounds a little new-age, listen to your heart and add tasks you need to do. Add the stuff you pospone in your life for the sake of your work.

The first few times you follow this procedure, in the “Look” step you are likely to remove all life stuff just to leave work stuff. You think about your big project and put it against watching the soccer match with your father, and put off calling your dad until next week.

Work and life should be balanced. You need to avoid reaching the point that your work starts to eat into your personal time, and vice versa. If your boss is overworking you, talk to him. If the big project is conflicting with the tasks he asks you to get done from one day to the other, ask him to help you prioritize.

With this sense of control most of your stress will just fade away, because the oppressing feeling of tasks hanging over our heads without control is why we get overwhelmed. This method gives you control, and with control comes a sense of calm and diminished stress.

You can get in control by starting to manage your tasks instead of your time. When you are overwhelmed time management is usually pointless: there is a certain number of tasks that need to be done soon, and the only think you need is a piece of paper to have all them written down, but you won’t need any fancy timeboxing or split time strategy.

Pretend you are a post office worker. As tasks are assigned to you, return them to the sender, delegate to the appropriate person (or bribe/ask for a favour/task exchange) or in extreme cases, put in your list of do it.

This week, try to gain some control over your stress. By next week, I’m sure things will be different…in a good way.

Ruben Berenguel is finishing his PhD in Mathematics while writing in mostlymaths.net A 'geek of all trades', loves writing about language learning, memory hacking and time management and productivity, with the occasional bizarre programming/computing stuff.

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How to Declutter Your Life and Reduce Stress

Excessive clutter is often a symptom and a cause of stress and can affect every facet of your life, from the time it takes you to do things to your finances and your overall enjoyment of life.  Clutter can distract you, weigh you down, and in general it invites chaos into your life.  Often times, however, tackling the clutter can seem an insurmountable task if you don’t know where or how to start.  By devoting a little of your time to getting rid of the clutter in your life and maintaining things relatively clutter-free , you’ll reap the rewards of pleasing living areas, reduced stress, and a more organized and productive existence.

The best way to tackle the decluttering of your home, your work space, and your life is to take things  one small step at a time.  Combined, small steps will lead to big improvements that will be easier to maintain over the long-run.  Here is a blueprint of how to start tackling that clutter and enjoying a less stressful life:

If you want to be more productive and focused in your work, getting the clutter out of your work area is essential.

Start with your desk. Clear everything off the top of it and take everything out of the drawers.  Assemble the items in piles on the floor.  Clean and wipe down your desk, and marvel at how pretty and clean it looks.  Sort through all of the “stuff” that was both in and on your desk.  Toss out as much as possible a relatively small amount.  Once you’ve weeded things out, it’s time to sort through the remains.  Set up a basic alphabetical filing system with a folder for each project or client.  Keep your office supplies and other items in designated drawers.  If you need to, label things, but the main thing you should do is designate a spot for every item you decided to keep and make sure that it stays there, or goes back there when you’re done using it. Keep flat surfaces clear, and have an inbox for all incoming papers.  When the papers  come in, sort them each day – toss, delegate, do immediately, or file simply file all documents, but whatever you do, DO NOT KEEP THEM ON TOP OF YOUR DESK.  All you want on the surface of your desk is your phone, computer, inbox, and maybe a special photo in addition to the documents you are working with at the moment.Declutter your computer. Get rid of files and programs on your computer that you don’t need.  Get rid of most or all of the icons on your desktop.  They not only slow down your computer, but they also create visual clutter.  There are better ways of accessing your information.  Regularly purge old, unused files.  If organization is not your thing, utilize a program such as Google Desktop to search for your files when you need them.Then move on to information. In the digital world of today, there are so many different ways that information creeps into our lives.  Information in itself can become overwhelming when you have too much of it, and this is called information clutter. Instead of letting information take over your life, set limits.  Reduce the number of things that you read each day and get rid of things from your RSS feed.  Chuck those magazine subscriptions, and reduce your consumption of news and television. I’m not suggesting that you cut yourself off from the world, just that setting some boundaries will help.  Instead of letting information, even the kind that friends share on Facebook, take over your life, control how and when you receive it by limiting what you read.r

Outside of work, home is where many of a bulk of our time.  So it’s no wonder that a messy house can add to daily stress.

Simply your rooms. If your rooms are too cluttered, you’ll want to simplify them.  Start by clearing off anything that is on the floors.  Throw out or donate unused things.  After clearing the floor, move to flat surfaces such as countertops, shelves, tops of dressers, etc.  Clear them as much as possible, and then move onto furniture.  Consider if you need everything .  Sort things in piles – toss, donate, or keep. Organize everything that you’ve decided to keep into drawers, cabinets, and closets, keeping them out of sight, but still neatly organized and uncluttered. Do this one room at a time.Tackle the closets. Closets are a great place to store things that you don’t want out in the open, and can easily become a place where you shove things just to keep them out of view.  Go through your closets – take everything out, clean it, and toss ,  donate as much as you can.  Decided a specific place to store anything you decide to keep.  Keep only the things that you love and use frequently.  As for your clothes, get rid of anything that you haven’t worn in six months.Clean out your drawers. Drawers are prime place for things to get shoved into.  Empty out your drawers, and sorting them by whether you’re keeping, tossing, or donating them.

Decluttering your work area and your home are great ways to start reducing the clutter and stress in your life, but there’s still more than you can do.

Reduce your commitments. Often times, our lives are too clutterd with all of the things that we need to do at home, work, school, in our religious or civic lives, with friends and family, with hobbies, and so on.  Take a look at each area of your life and write down all of your commitments.  Seeing it all written down can be quite an eye-opening experience, as well as overwhelming.  From here, look at each one and decide whether it really brings you joy and value, and if it is worth the amount of time that you invest in it.  Another way to reduce your commitments is to identify a few that you truly love, and get rid of the rest.  Learn how to say no and decline offers. If you eliminate the things that don’t bring you joy or value, you’ll have more time for the things that you love.Reconsider your routines. Many of us do not have any set routines in our daily lives, and simply tackle our obligations, chores, and daily tasks haphazardly.  Without structure, it can lead to chaotic days and a drop in productivity.  Instead, batch tasks together.  Instead of doing your laundry several times throughout the week, do it all on one day.  It’s helpful to write down all of your weekly and daily obligations, chores, and tasks, and then plan out daily and weekly routines.  Hang it up where you can see it and try to follow it.  You might find that having a routine brings a new sense of calm and order to your life.

Once you’ve successfully decluttered, whether it be one area or all the areas mentioned above, clutter will inevitably begin to creep back into your life. You must be vigilant in weeding it out on a regular basis, or it will just take over your life again.

Set up a system to keep clutter in check. Examine the way that you do things and how things make their way into your life, and consider whether you can put together a simple system for everything, from your laundry to work projects and email.  Write down your systems step-by-step and try to follow them as best as you can.  Follow your systems and you’ll keep the clutter minimized.Don’t slack off.  It’s easy to put things off for another day, but it’ll save you headaches in the long-run if you deal with things immediately. Throw it out, donate it, or keep it and put it in a designated area.

Julie McCormick is a freelance writer, and co-owner of The Cleveland Leader, a Technorati Top 1000 site. She married and is the mother of two young children. You will often find her playing around with the latest tech gadgets, messing around with code, or writing up a storm. She holds a Bachelor's degree in visual communications, and spent nearly a decade working in one of the largest public libraries in the U.S.

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Are You Addicted to Stress? The Experts Weigh In

Ever since the 1980s, there has been an increasing amount of media coverage on stress-related topics. For decades, scientists, researchers, and doctors have been investigating how the human body responds to stress, and whether it is possible for some people to become addicted to stress.

While there are no hard figures to reveal how many Americans may be suffering from stress addiction, experts do agree that people suffering from this problem face varying degrees of danger to their health.

Are you addicted to stress? And if so, does that mean you will be facing serious health problems down the road? Or, will you be one of the few people who benefits from stress addiction?

The Type A Paradox

A bevy of medical experts have noted that there are a variety of human responses to stress, and not all of them have to be negative. In fact, high-strung Type-A personalities may actually benefit from stressful lifestyles based on their genetics and lifestyle preferences.

”Anyone familiar with the corporate world has had experiences with driven executives who seem to thrive on stressful circumstances that most others could not tolerate,” says Dr. Waino W. Suojanen, a professor of management at Georgia State University. ”There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that some executives deliberately seek out the management life because they get a high out of controlling people. Indeed, the making of decisions seems to become addicting.”

So why would someone benefit from stress addiction? Dr. Robert Ader of the University of Rochester, has studied stress addiction for many years, and he explains that stress can actually have some beneficial effects on the body. ”Through our animal work we have hypothesized that it might be possible that some people might need stress because it elicits the release of catecholamines, such as adrenaline, in the blood stream, and this is not necessarily bad because it might increase resistance to some types of disease.”

Dr. Paul J. Rosch adds that because of these unexpected health benefits of stress, prescribing the right medical treatments can be very challenging. “The Type A individual has perhaps become addicted to his own adrenaline and unconsciously seeks ways to get those little surges,” he explains.

“The Type A individual is apt to be irritable and depressed. Thus, recuperating from a heart attack by spending three weeks on a deserted beach might be a perfect prescription for one individual, but lethal for some Type A’s, who would be ‘off the wall’ in a matter of hours.”

Stress and Genetics

Stress, when combined with certain genetic factors, can increase a person’s risk for developing depression or even chronic fatigue disorder. According to Dr. David Mrazek, “People with a genetic variant of the serotonin transporter gene [are] more likely to become depressed [if] they have experienced stressful situations.”

While he notes that the types of stress caused by childhood abuse or major medical are more likely to affect those with the genetic variant, even “the hassles of everyday life [were] associated with an increased risk of depression if a person had this genetic variant.”

Stress While Pregnant

Even if you are one of the rare people who thrive under stressful circumstances, all bets are off if you are a woman who becomes pregnant. Stress is arguably the most dangerous thing a pregnant woman can be exposed to. Stress during pregnancy has been linked to all kinds of ill effects for the developing baby.

For example, stress can cause miscarriages, lower IQ scores for babies, and can affect the development of the child’s immune system. In fact, one Harvard study revealed that children who had mothers with highly stressful pregnancies were more likely to suffer from auto-immune disease, including asthma and allergies.

Stress Addiction Warning Signs

According to Debbie Mandel, author of “Addicted to Stress: A Woman’s 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life”, there are many warning signs that can indicate that a person has become addicted to stress. Mandel says that if you answer “yes” to any of the questions below, you may be at risk for developing stress addiction:

“1. Do you tune out during conversations thinking about other things?
2. Do you feel rushed wherever you are because you feel that you ought to be completing the next task somewhere else?
3. Do you feel uncomfortable, worried, and nervous in your mind or body when you don’t have something you must absolutely do right now?”
Mandel says that clients she treats for stress addiction get hooked on the surge of adrenaline they get when rushing around, frantically trying to check off items on their to-do lists. Many stress addicts, she adds, are also using their stress to keep from dealing with feelings of inadequacy. “In the case of stress addiction, all this busyness stems from the addict’s constant need to prove the self, suppressing feelings of unattractiveness, unworthiness and inadequacy seeping out through the seams of body and soul. It is a case of compulsion versus passion,” she explains.

Conclusion

There are good kinds of stress, and bad kinds of stress. Falling in love definitely counts as “good stress”, and getting fired is unquestionably “bad stress”. No two causes of stress are created equal, and it also seems that no two people will have the exact same response a given stressful event.

Even if you thrive on stress, your addiction may be putting your health at risk. As with everything in life, moderation is best. So, if you absolutely love the adrenaline rush of multi-tasking on 12 urgent projects, you need to make sure you find a little time each day to relax. Examine your motivations for reveling in stress, and make sure you balance your long-term health with your lifestyle choices.

Tucker is a writer and social media professional living in New England. When she's not staring into a tiny electric box, she engages in pointless acts of stupidity at BadBoozeReview.com and posts daily at MargeryJones.com

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Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness

Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, is perhaps the best-known proponent of using meditation to help patients deal with illness. (The somewhat confusing title is from a line in Zorba the Greek in which the title character refers to the ups and downs of family life as "the full catastrophe.") But this book is also a terrific introduction for anyone who has considered meditating but was afraid it would be too difficult or would include religious practices they found foreign. Kabat-Zinn focuses on "mindfulness," a concept that involves living in the moment, paying attention, and simply "being" rather than "doing." While you can practice anything "mindfully," from taking a walk to cleaning your house, Kabat-Zinn presents several meditation techniques that focus the attention most clearly, whether it's on a simple phrase, your breathing, or various parts of your body. The book goes into detail about how hospital patients have either improved their health or simply come to feel better despite their illness by using these techniques, but these meditations can help anyone deal with stress and gain a calmer outlook on life. "When we use the word healing to describe the experiences of people in the stress clinic, what we mean above all is that they are undergoing a profound transformation of view," Kabat-Zinn writes. "Out of this shift in perspective comes an ability to act with greater balance and inner security in the world." --Ben Kallen

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