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Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Monday, November 11, 2013
Daily Quote: Christmas is Not a Time Nor a Season
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. by Calvin Coolidge
Brian Lee is the manager of Lifehack.org who covers all sorts of tips for life. Brian has lived and studied in USA, Canada, China and Hong Kong and holds his BA in Global Business. Thursday, January 19, 2012
Christmas brain lectures available worldwide
The Christmas Lectures are a traditional event where a leading scientist is chosen to present the latest developments in a fun and engaging way to a lecture theatre full of slightly posh kids.
They’re televised in the UK but they’ve now been made available online and you can watch all three streamed over the net.
And I really recommend you do as they’re fantastic.
They’re presented by psychologist Bruce Hood and they’re packed with excellent demonstrations that use everything from cutting edge neuroscience technology to stuff you could find in your house.
Enormously enjoyable whether your a fan or a profesional (or both).
Link to excellent online Christmas lectures.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Christmas Deals from Start-ups
(Photo: Kevin Dooley)
Just for fun, I asked my start-ups (and a few friends) if they’d like to offer y’all a little something special from the holidays. Here’s an incomplete list.
Many are working on top-secret stuff and couldn’t jump in, but a few were game on last-minute notice, so here you go!
They are listed in alphabetical order by company/name:
Stop being a Wantrepreneur; start taking action. Free vids! Get here: http://appsumo.com/wantrepreneurs-videos/ via @AppSumo
Everything you need to transform. Free trainers, complete nutrition plans, & top-selling supplements. Save 10%! www.Bodybuilding.com/Save10
Photo + Film + Design + Software. Use coupon “tim2011? for 25% off ANY single @creativeLIVE course til 1/1/12 http://creativelive.com
Email joseph-at-crowdflower.com and we’ll give you free CrowdFlower credits and a free crowdsourcing consultation to get you started on our self-service platform.
Foodzie’s Tasting Club delivers a monthly selection of artisan food products. Gift it and receive a FREE month on your own subscription. Valid through 12/24.
Ed Cooke trained Josh Foer to be US memory champ in 1 yr. He’ll train you if you can learn 500+ words in a week on http://www.memrise.com
Create a free and private website for your family photos this holiday season on Posterous Spaces.
Want a virtual assistant? Get one, FREE, for a year. (From Ramit Sethi of iwillteachyoutoberich.) http://bit.ly/uVjY3M
45% off a year of Reputation.com’s MyPrivacy service ($55 for a year) to protect your digital personal information. You can use this link http://www.reputation.com?code=4HOUR to get the discount automatically or enter the code 4HOUR in the gift code section on our site when buying.
Have a Productive New Year for 50% off – Sign up for @RescueTime for $36/year! – http://bit.ly/RT36Y
3 months free – Shopify Unlimited Plan, first 100 to use the promo code ’4HOUR’ [value $537]
Happy holidays!
###
Odds and Ends: The 4-Hour Chef is now up on Amazon.co.uk
Posted on December 21st, 2011Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Turn Yourself Into a Savvy Buyer While Christmas Shopping
Maybe you slept in on Black Friday simply unable to muster the will to battle hundreds of other people storming the gates of the local WalMart. Perhaps you are waiting for your next paycheck in December before you start searching for good deals. Or, maybe - just maybe - you believe retailers will cut costs even further because they NEED to liquidate their inventories before the end of the year.
No matter what the reason is, the goal for many is clear: Purchase as many presents as possible for the lowest possible cost. If you are in that crowd, here are some hints for being more than a bargain hunter; we're talking about becoming a savvy buyer.
Haggle
You may not think that the local appliance store is willing to go down from the printed sales price, but you would be surprised what a failing economy does to salespeople. If you have knowledge on your side (like what the competitors are selling the same item for), you can get them to come down on prices, add extended warranties, deliver for free, install for free, etc. In addition to these, don't forget the freebies.
Be willing to walk away
Don't be afraid to be difficult. If you don't get the deal you want, tell them you are going to leave. This works even better when you cart is loaded with other purchases and you are willing to let all of those go because you don't get the deal on what you really want.
Bring up competitors
This works well when you are looking at very competitive business - like car dealerships or electronics or even credit card companies who are pumping up your interest rate. If you are in a store, it works even better. If you say, "that other store was selling those same things for cheaper" loud enough, you'll get all sorts of attention.
Cash, cash, cash
Not only should you bring cash for your purchases to keep you on your budget, you should tell the salesman you intend to pay with cash and thus save them the 3%-5% that Visa collects on each purchase. Some stores will drop the price simply because it's a cash purchase.
Another trick is to be sure you only bring as much cash as you are willing to spend. This will eliminate the possibility of you exceeding your budget. It also may help persuade a sales manager when you are haggling over the price of an item.
Shut up
When in doubt, keep your hands in your pockets and keep your mouth shut. This will make the salesman dicker himself down on prices when you don't seem happy with his initial offer. They may even divulge some juicy information, like the markup price or even if what your looking at is the best model. Remember, the sales person wants to make the sale more than you want to purchase it!
The Golden Rule! Don't be afraid to ask for a discount
If all else fails, ask for a deal. There may be sales coming up you don't know about, special pricing or even a coupon that the store has on hand. Even small bargains add up to big ones. "What else can you toss in" is a single sentence that can amount to some huge discounts or freebies.These aren't just holiday strategies; use them all year long and you can become a big-time bargainer. If you feel embarrassed or cheap by asking for discounts, remember that you are never going to see this salesperson again! You will however see your bank account balance for the rest of your life!
Written on 12/01/2008 by Mike Koehler. Mike Koehler is a multimedia journalist in Oklahoma City working full-time to save the newspaper business while helping his wife raise three kids under age 8. In his spare time he sleeps. E-mail Mike at kmanconsulting@gmail.com.Monday, December 26, 2011
Christmas Lifehacks: Essentials for a 21st Century Santa Claus
Jolly old St. Nicholas has been around for years. After watching a recent live-action redux of “The Year Without a Santa Claus” where Santa has shifted into the new millennium, I started to think about what the 21st century Santa would have in his toolkit in order to make his rounds on Christmas Eve in a more efficient and effective way.
It turns out he may have some of the same tools we’re using today in order to get more done. Let’s break down what Santa Claus of the 21st century could (and should) be using this holiday season.
Traditionally, this has been written down by Santa on what appears to be a never-ending scroll of paper. This is a problem for the following reasons:
What if the child was nice at first, then turned naughty? That means a whole lot of crossing out of names.Where does he keep this monstrous list? He’d need a pretty big file folder. And for archival purposes, he’d need a really big file cabinet.How does he remember that list anyway? Santa’s not getting any younger, and the chances of him missing a house or two during his Christmas Eve run is becoming more likely every year. Even saints aren’t perfect.So what Santa needs in this day and age is some sort of application htat can be easily modified, doesn’t take up a ton of space and is portable.
Sounds like a job for an app like Evernote.
Evernote is available on a ton of platforms, is mobile and can be used to keep trck of both those who are naughty and nice. Santa could have a Naughty notebook and a Nice notebook, and could even use location-awareness if he saw fit.
With Evernote’s ubiquitous nature, he has a wide variety of devices he could choose from to run it on – and it syncs so there’d be no real need to “check it twice”.
As for the device he’d use to run it, I’m sure his elves could make him one that could run an OS that Evernote supports.
Santa’s sack is massive – and magical. There’s likely no replacing it with anything manmade…yet.
But that doesn’t mean he can’t update his wardrobe to fit a few more things in. Perhaps a pair of pants from Scott-E-Vest would be ideal for him to hold the keys to his sleigh, his Evernote-equipped mobile device and all those cookies he gathers during his travels would be a good, er…fit.
Mind you, they don’t come in red.
It’s tough to keep track of inventory of any store or warehouse, but one can only imagine how much Santa’s got on his shelves in his workshop. If he wants to keep his stock levels lean and mean, then he’s got a number of choices to help him do just that.
Delicious Library 2 for the Mac would let him keep tabs on what he has for personal stock, and Bento would allow him to keep a deeper inventory available for quick reference on the Mac, iPad and iPhone. Even Google Docs would work to keep tabs on what he has on hand – and it’s cross-platform.
How to offload some of that stuff during the Christmas season is an entirely other matter, but Santa can pinpoint who might want what with an iOS app called Gift Plan. Evernote can also work in a pinch since he’s already using it for his naughty and nice list.
So with all of this technology at his side, Santa can head out on Christmas Eve and do his thing faster and better. That should give him some time to work on shedding a few of those unwanted pounds during his down time, right?
You know, I think there’s an app for that…
Speaking of apps, if you have other suggestions of applications that would be great for Santa Claus (or yourself) to help you get the kind of stuff Santa does done, leave them in the comments.
(Photo credit: Santa Claus with Laptop via Shutterstock)
Mike Vardy is a writer, speaker, and "productivityist". You can follow him on Twitter, listen to him regularly on his podcast, ProductiVardy, and read more from him at MikeVardy.com and at Vardy.me.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Salvage Your Holidays With 15 DIY Christmas Ideas
Photo credit: poppet with a camera (CC BY-NC 2.0)A few years ago, someone I know sent out an email saying that he was cancelling Christmas that year due to financial constraints. He had gotten caught in the trap that Christmas was more about the expensive gifts than the time spent with others.
Being an “almost minimalist” by nature, I have always believed simplicity is the best solution for the holidays. With that in mind, I also feel that it is good to give gifts. I personally enjoy giving random gifts throughout the year, especially to people I don’t even know.
However, these gifts do not have to be expensive. In fact, I try to put together several “do-it-yourself” gifts to give on such occasions rather than spend a ton of money on gifts.
Here are some ideas for DIY gifts that can cause your family to say wow.
Cookies: My aunt’s favorite. While you are at it, host a holiday cookie baking party. Everyone makes their favorite cookies, and you all split the final results.Pine Cone Fire Starters: Just a little wax and pine cones. Perfect for fireplaces.Secret Hollow Book: Take an old book, a little glue, a knife and you have a secret box perfect for your friend’s car keys.Recipe Booklet: While subscriptions to food magazines are the norm in my family, I think a recipe book with your favorite recipes from the year is a nice personal touch.Themed Gift Basket: No need to go expensive, but find a theme they like and add some food or other small items related to the theme. Sports, Italian, Nature? The only limits to what you can think up as a theme are the limits of your own imagination.Memory Drawing: For the artistic folks, draw a picture of a memory you have of the other person.Gingerbread House: I don’t mean a set they build. Spend the time to build one and give it. Children love them!Personalized Calendar: If you have children, grandparents and other relatives always enjoy a calendar of them. Of course, you could also give a personalized calendar to your significant other or other important person in your life.Make An Ornament: It can be made out of salt dough, paper or anything you have around. Its handmade nature will make it unique and special.Volunteer As A Group: Setup a time to volunteer at a soup kitchen with them.Create An Experience: Do they like to camp? What about walking in the park? Take them out for the day; you can even make a picnic out of it.Start A TraditionHomemade Granola Or Trail Mix: Simple to make, and you can make different varieties for specific people.Mixed CD/DVD: Spend time crafting a mixed CD for them. Or maybe put together a DVD of your favorite pictures/short videos from throughout the year.Gift Certificates: Give them a handmade certificate for a service you can provide. Maybe you’ll do the dishes, give a massage, walk the dog, offer a special night out. It could be anything they would enjoy getting a break from — or having to do themselves.There are many options out there. Always remember: The time spent is more than the money spent. For those who still want to (or feel they must) give traditional gifts, just remember to keep a budget.
What is your favorite DIY Christmas idea?
Albert Lionelle is a renaissance man. He is involved in the school board, writes, acts, directs, programs, teaches, has a Master degree in computer science, and is currently working on his Master of Divinity at Regent University. For work, he speaks for sustainable agriculture groups believing sustainability, stewardship and real food should be common sense. As such, he has recently cofounded with his wife Real Food and Health digital magazine. Available at their website or on Amazon.com for the kindle.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Mr. Krueger's Christmas, 25th Anniversary, Starring Jimmy Stewart and The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Additional Features Included "The Restoration" & "The Nativity"
Mr. Krueger's Christmas 25:50 MinsThe Restoration 19:26 mins
The Nativity 5 mins
God so loved the world: carols of christmas by the mormon tobernacle choir 25 mins
Price:
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents
I love Christmas. I love the snow-themed everything, even when I was living on tropical Guam, and Santa and elves and reindeer and snowmen and candy canes. Yes, I even love the non-stop playing of Christmas music for two months.
Most of all, I love getting together with my family — eating Christmas cookies, singing Christmas carols together, gossiping and laughing at each other. It’s tremendous fun.
I don’t love Christmas shopping, or the overconsumption, frenzied malls, consumer debt, environmental waste, wasted time wrapping, and over-accumulation of needless stuff that goes with it.
Bah humbug! I love Christmas, but the shopping has got to go. Here’s why. Warning: This will be a rant of near-epic proportions.
1. The focus is on buying, not on sharing. I love the idea of giving to people you love, but that idea has been twisted. Now people go out in a mad rush to shop, like ravenous vampires feasting on new blood. We shop for a month, rip apart the packaging one morning, and then forget about it the next day. Is this about giving, or buying?
2. Giving is great, but buying is not the solution. Again, I’m in love with giving … but do we need to buy to give? We seem to think that buying is the solution to any problem, but that has lead to a society that is deeply in debt and piled high with needless stuff. We can find other ways to give: bake cookies, wash someone’s car, babysit so they can go on a date night, create a photo album, be there when they need help moving.
3. The waste, oh the waste. Let’s start with packaging: the packaging for every toy is double the volume of the toy itself. From cardboard to plastic to metal twist-ties, it’s ridiculous. Then every item we buy must be brought home in bags. We often put everything in boxes. Then we buy wrapping paper and wrap it all up. All of this gets thrown away on Christmas day. Finally, there’s the gift itself — people get so much stuff they can’t possibly treasure everything. So it goes into the closet to be forgotten.
4. The sorrowful debt. Most people spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on gifts and wrapping. Not to mention all the money spent on gas, driving to different shopping places, and the money spent on fattening food at mall food courts. This goes on credit cards (and around our waistlines), and we then must pay for this — with high interest — during the year. Even if you don’t get into debt, you’re spending money earned from long hours of hard work — is this really how you want to spend your life, paying for needless stuff so corporations can get rich?
5. The horrendous, insipid, seizure-inducing advertising. I can’t stand advertising, and it only gets worse on Christmas. The ads pound on you relentlessly until you give in — and it works. That’s been proven — those ads are getting you to buy more, to want more, to lay down the credit card. I don’t watch TV, read newspapers or magazines, or allow ads in my browser (AdBlock) so that I don’t have to be subjected to this.
6. The fuel. If you drive all over the place to shop, you’re using lots of fuel. Even if you just order online, think of the fuel it takes to deliver these products (overnight!) to your home. And the fuel used to create the products, to get the raw materials to the factories, to cut down the raw materials, to ship the finished product to the stores or warehouses from around the world (most likely from China), not to mention all the fuel used to create and ship the packaging. It’s a few million metric craploads of fuel, wasted for giving some presents that will be forgotten.
7. There are still hungry people in the world. In the frenzy that is Christmas shopping, we spend ridiculous amounts of money that is pure waste. In other countries, people are struggling just to eat, or get medicine, or find shelter, or get clean drinking water. We spend so much in a show of consumerist greed, when that money could go to feed a few dozen families. If you have money to waste, consider donating it to an organization that is helping these types of families. I know this sounds preachy, but really, this kind of reminder is necessary in times like these.
8. The neverending clutter. What happens to all the gifts? They go on our shelves, in our closets, on the floor. We already have so much clutter — do we need more? We already have problems figuring out what to do with everything we own. Why do we want to clutter our homes even more? Why do we want to force clutter on our loved ones, oblige them to find a spot in their already cluttered homes for this gift we’ve given them, so they won’t offend us when we come to visit? Is this obligation really a gift?
Q: But what about the kids?
A: Kids love getting presents (I have six kids — I should know!). I sure did when I was a kid. Are we to rob them of this? It’s a difficult question, but another side of the equation to consider is what we are teaching the kids. They don’t just participate in the opening of presents — they see all the shopping too. They are being taught to shop, and to value material goods over anything else. Imagine their lives when they’re grown — a life of shopping and debt and waste, because that’s what’s important, right? So for the joy of opening a few presents for a couple hours on Christmas day, we’re imparting on them consumerist values that will last them a lifetime.
I think, instead, this can be a great opportunity to have an open discussion with kids about buying and spending and debt. Did you receive this kind of education when you were a kid? Would you have been better off if you had? This is also a great opportunity to teach kids about giving to others, about volunteering and helping the less fortunate, about finding other ways to spend time with loved ones that don’t require shopping. My kids do want presents — but I don’t want them to think that’s what Christmas is all about. We’ve been having this discussion and we will continue to this month.
Q: But what about family?
A: Family, believe it or not, will survive without a few presents from us. They can continue to shop and give presents, but you can simply tell them that you don’t want to participate this year. Send them a link to this article to explain why.
This is also a great opportunity (you see how I love turning problems into opportunities?) to create new traditions with your family — go caroling, string popcorn for the tree, make Christmas cookies, bake pies, play football outside, create Christmas scrapbooks, volunteer.
Q: But I love giving presents!
A: Sure, who doesn’t? And you might also love shopping. Shopping, for many people, is a pleasure like no other. This can be a problem, in my mind: you might be using shopping to give you temporary happiness, to fill a hole in your life, to make you happy when you’re depressed or stressed or lonely. I’m not saying you are, but many people do, and it’s good to take a look at these things. Richer happiness can be found in simpler things that don’t involve spending: being with loved ones, creating, reading, getting outside and doing something active.
Even if you aren’t addicted to shopping, you might just love giving presents. And that’s OK — but you might consider giving more meaningful presents that don’t require lots of shopping. Creating a photo album or scrapbook for someone takes time and thought, while laying down a credit card at Macy’s doesn’t.
Q: How do you convince a spouse who equates lavish gifts with love & appreciation?
A: This definitely isn’t easy. It’s an important discussion to have, however. You’ll need to do it without accusations, without resentment, without making the other person feel he’s under attack. Bring it up as an ongoing discussion about things you’re thinking about — maybe even point to this post as a starting point.
This is such an important discussion because so many couples get badly into debt for this reason — one partner has different values about material goods, shopping, debt, gifts, and so on, and the other partner hates to fight about it so doesn’t talk about it. Financial issues are also a big reason couples split up. So finding a healthy way to talk about values, about financial goals, about how you want to live your lives, is so crucial. Do it gently, with compassion, as a way to live together as a team rather than two people struggling against each other.
A good way to get started is to write a blog post or a letter to your spouse about your feelings — again, without being attacking. You might explain why you’re not into giving presents, that you still love your spouse but want to show it in non-consumerist ways, that there are other traditions the two of you could start together to share your love.
There are so many good ideas, but a few:
Do other things with family, such as caroling, baking, watching It’s a Wonderful Life, playing football outside.Volunteer as a family at a homeless shelter.Ask people to donate to your favorite charity in lieu of gifts.Make meaningful gifts.Do a gift swap where you put a valued possession (that you already own) into the swap.Bake gifts.Have an experience instead of giving material goods: do something fun together, go to the beach or a lake.Find hope. Christmas has so much potential to be about so much more than buying — it can be a season of hope, renewal, loved ones, inspiration, contemplation. Talk to your family about this — how can we find ways to be hopeful, thankful, cooperative? How can we be more present instead of worried about getting presents?Get stuff at Goodwill. It’s recycled, and the money helps a good cause.
—
View the original article here
Most of all, I love getting together with my family — eating Christmas cookies, singing Christmas carols together, gossiping and laughing at each other. It’s tremendous fun.
I don’t love Christmas shopping, or the overconsumption, frenzied malls, consumer debt, environmental waste, wasted time wrapping, and over-accumulation of needless stuff that goes with it.
Bah humbug! I love Christmas, but the shopping has got to go. Here’s why. Warning: This will be a rant of near-epic proportions.
1. The focus is on buying, not on sharing. I love the idea of giving to people you love, but that idea has been twisted. Now people go out in a mad rush to shop, like ravenous vampires feasting on new blood. We shop for a month, rip apart the packaging one morning, and then forget about it the next day. Is this about giving, or buying?
2. Giving is great, but buying is not the solution. Again, I’m in love with giving … but do we need to buy to give? We seem to think that buying is the solution to any problem, but that has lead to a society that is deeply in debt and piled high with needless stuff. We can find other ways to give: bake cookies, wash someone’s car, babysit so they can go on a date night, create a photo album, be there when they need help moving.
3. The waste, oh the waste. Let’s start with packaging: the packaging for every toy is double the volume of the toy itself. From cardboard to plastic to metal twist-ties, it’s ridiculous. Then every item we buy must be brought home in bags. We often put everything in boxes. Then we buy wrapping paper and wrap it all up. All of this gets thrown away on Christmas day. Finally, there’s the gift itself — people get so much stuff they can’t possibly treasure everything. So it goes into the closet to be forgotten.
4. The sorrowful debt. Most people spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on gifts and wrapping. Not to mention all the money spent on gas, driving to different shopping places, and the money spent on fattening food at mall food courts. This goes on credit cards (and around our waistlines), and we then must pay for this — with high interest — during the year. Even if you don’t get into debt, you’re spending money earned from long hours of hard work — is this really how you want to spend your life, paying for needless stuff so corporations can get rich?
5. The horrendous, insipid, seizure-inducing advertising. I can’t stand advertising, and it only gets worse on Christmas. The ads pound on you relentlessly until you give in — and it works. That’s been proven — those ads are getting you to buy more, to want more, to lay down the credit card. I don’t watch TV, read newspapers or magazines, or allow ads in my browser (AdBlock) so that I don’t have to be subjected to this.
6. The fuel. If you drive all over the place to shop, you’re using lots of fuel. Even if you just order online, think of the fuel it takes to deliver these products (overnight!) to your home. And the fuel used to create the products, to get the raw materials to the factories, to cut down the raw materials, to ship the finished product to the stores or warehouses from around the world (most likely from China), not to mention all the fuel used to create and ship the packaging. It’s a few million metric craploads of fuel, wasted for giving some presents that will be forgotten.
7. There are still hungry people in the world. In the frenzy that is Christmas shopping, we spend ridiculous amounts of money that is pure waste. In other countries, people are struggling just to eat, or get medicine, or find shelter, or get clean drinking water. We spend so much in a show of consumerist greed, when that money could go to feed a few dozen families. If you have money to waste, consider donating it to an organization that is helping these types of families. I know this sounds preachy, but really, this kind of reminder is necessary in times like these.
8. The neverending clutter. What happens to all the gifts? They go on our shelves, in our closets, on the floor. We already have so much clutter — do we need more? We already have problems figuring out what to do with everything we own. Why do we want to clutter our homes even more? Why do we want to force clutter on our loved ones, oblige them to find a spot in their already cluttered homes for this gift we’ve given them, so they won’t offend us when we come to visit? Is this obligation really a gift?
Q: But what about the kids?
A: Kids love getting presents (I have six kids — I should know!). I sure did when I was a kid. Are we to rob them of this? It’s a difficult question, but another side of the equation to consider is what we are teaching the kids. They don’t just participate in the opening of presents — they see all the shopping too. They are being taught to shop, and to value material goods over anything else. Imagine their lives when they’re grown — a life of shopping and debt and waste, because that’s what’s important, right? So for the joy of opening a few presents for a couple hours on Christmas day, we’re imparting on them consumerist values that will last them a lifetime.
I think, instead, this can be a great opportunity to have an open discussion with kids about buying and spending and debt. Did you receive this kind of education when you were a kid? Would you have been better off if you had? This is also a great opportunity to teach kids about giving to others, about volunteering and helping the less fortunate, about finding other ways to spend time with loved ones that don’t require shopping. My kids do want presents — but I don’t want them to think that’s what Christmas is all about. We’ve been having this discussion and we will continue to this month.
Q: But what about family?
A: Family, believe it or not, will survive without a few presents from us. They can continue to shop and give presents, but you can simply tell them that you don’t want to participate this year. Send them a link to this article to explain why.
This is also a great opportunity (you see how I love turning problems into opportunities?) to create new traditions with your family — go caroling, string popcorn for the tree, make Christmas cookies, bake pies, play football outside, create Christmas scrapbooks, volunteer.
Q: But I love giving presents!
A: Sure, who doesn’t? And you might also love shopping. Shopping, for many people, is a pleasure like no other. This can be a problem, in my mind: you might be using shopping to give you temporary happiness, to fill a hole in your life, to make you happy when you’re depressed or stressed or lonely. I’m not saying you are, but many people do, and it’s good to take a look at these things. Richer happiness can be found in simpler things that don’t involve spending: being with loved ones, creating, reading, getting outside and doing something active.
Even if you aren’t addicted to shopping, you might just love giving presents. And that’s OK — but you might consider giving more meaningful presents that don’t require lots of shopping. Creating a photo album or scrapbook for someone takes time and thought, while laying down a credit card at Macy’s doesn’t.
Q: How do you convince a spouse who equates lavish gifts with love & appreciation?
A: This definitely isn’t easy. It’s an important discussion to have, however. You’ll need to do it without accusations, without resentment, without making the other person feel he’s under attack. Bring it up as an ongoing discussion about things you’re thinking about — maybe even point to this post as a starting point.
This is such an important discussion because so many couples get badly into debt for this reason — one partner has different values about material goods, shopping, debt, gifts, and so on, and the other partner hates to fight about it so doesn’t talk about it. Financial issues are also a big reason couples split up. So finding a healthy way to talk about values, about financial goals, about how you want to live your lives, is so crucial. Do it gently, with compassion, as a way to live together as a team rather than two people struggling against each other.
A good way to get started is to write a blog post or a letter to your spouse about your feelings — again, without being attacking. You might explain why you’re not into giving presents, that you still love your spouse but want to show it in non-consumerist ways, that there are other traditions the two of you could start together to share your love.
There are so many good ideas, but a few:
Do other things with family, such as caroling, baking, watching It’s a Wonderful Life, playing football outside.Volunteer as a family at a homeless shelter.Ask people to donate to your favorite charity in lieu of gifts.Make meaningful gifts.Do a gift swap where you put a valued possession (that you already own) into the swap.Bake gifts.Have an experience instead of giving material goods: do something fun together, go to the beach or a lake.Find hope. Christmas has so much potential to be about so much more than buying — it can be a season of hope, renewal, loved ones, inspiration, contemplation. Talk to your family about this — how can we find ways to be hopeful, thankful, cooperative? How can we be more present instead of worried about getting presents?Get stuff at Goodwill. It’s recycled, and the money helps a good cause.
—
View the original article here
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