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Showing posts with label Others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Others. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
How To Be A Good Listener That Others Want To Talk To
Do you want to be a good listener that others want to talk to? Being a good listener does not come easy for some of us. It takes time, practice and dedication. What comes to your mind when you think about listening to a friend or co-worker? Do you find yourself thinking about what you want to say in response to what they have said or are you fully engaged with what they are talking about? When it comes to connecting with others, it’s all about consciously listening to them and the information that they are sharing with you.
When it comes to being a good listener, it’s important for you to have eye contact with the other person. It shows that you are paying attention and engaged with the conversation. When you don’t have eye contact with the other person, it shows that you don’t care and are not interested in what they have to say. Practice having eye contact with the next person you have a conversation with.
For you to be a good listener, you need to find out the “Why” and “What.” Why are they talking to you and what is the message they are trying to share with you? Being a good listener takes practice and when you are able to practice finding out the “Why and “What” of the other person, you will be much more engaged in the conversation.
It’s easy for us to think about what we want to say after the other person has stopped talking. This will not make you a better listener. If you are constantly thinking about your response, you will always miss out on carefully listening to the other person. Focus on what they have to say. Find out the “Why” and “What” and maintain eye contact. Once the other person stops talking, then think about your response. But while you are listening, you must be consciously listening with your ears. A lot of times, when we listen to people, we are thinking within our brain what we want to say rather than opening our ears and purely listening to their message.
We live in a society that is filled with so many distractions. We are constantly listening to so much noise that it’s a challenge to truly listen to another person. In order for you to be a good listener, you need to limit distractions during your conversation, whether it be the television, telephones or interruptions. It takes a mental decision to limit distractions when you are listening to someone else. How can you possibly be a good listener if you have the television blasting or you phone continues to ring? It would be near to impossible to be a good listener with these distractions. Limit as much interruptions as you can when you are listening to someone else. This not only shows them that you care but you are practicing good social skills.
Engage yourself in the conversation. Being engaged is showing your attention towards the other person. Let the other person know that they have your attention and focus. When you are not engaged in the conversation, the other person will notice and will most likely not want to talk to you again. Show the other person that you care about them and are interested in what they have to say. One way you can show this is by responding with a short comment, such as ”Yes” or “I understand.” This expresses to the other person that you are truly listening. Make sure that you allow the other person to primarily do the talking while you are still engaged.
Want to communicate better? Read these tips: 9 Tips to Improve Your Communication Skills
Featured photo credit: Two Young Women on a Bench at Park via Shutterstock
Tiffany Mason is a Professional Life Coach. Personal Development and Relationship Expert. As the owner of Mason Coaching and Consulting, she uses her expertise by helping busy women who feel disconnected in their life and marriage unleash their inner being and feminine essence in order to live a truly fulfilling and rewarding life. Visit Tiffanymason.com for a FREE audio series!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the biggest reasons we’re not content with ourselves and our lives is that we compare ourselves to other people.
Picture it: you see photos of what someone else is doing on Facebook and think your life isn’t exciting enough. You see someone else who has a cool job and think you’re not doing that great in your career. You see someone with a hotter body, and feel bad about yours. You see someone who has created an awesome business, and think you’re not doing enough. You read about people who are traveling the world, learning languages, going to exotic resorts and restaurants, and wonder why you’re not.
Of course, you’re comparing your reality to an ideal, a fantasy.
It’s not a comparison that makes sense. You can’t compare apples to apples when you compare yourself to anyone else. Which means it’s a dumb comparison — why would you compare how tangy an orange is compared to a beach? They’re not similar things.
Let’s take an example: I’m out running in the park, and I see someone running past me. Obviously he’s a faster runner, and better than me! Oh, that makes me feel horrible about myself as a runner!
Except I can’t compare myself to that faster runner, because I don’t have all the information. I don’t know:
how far they’re running (I might be running 12 miles and they’re running 2)where they are in their training plan (I might be starting out on my plan, while they’re in week 20)where they are in their particular run (I might be warming up, while they’re at the hardest part of their workout)how many years they’ve been running (maybe I’ve only started, and they’ve been running for 15 years)their injury status (maybe I recently injured an ankle while they’re not injured)what event they’re training for (maybe they are training for a mile race, or a bike race, and I’m training for a 50-mile race)what else is going on in their lives (maybe they have nothing else going on, while I’ve been working hard, socializing, and moving to a new house and getting little sleep)what motivates them (maybe I just like the peace of running mindfully, while they want to beat everyone else on the path)Given these and a bunch of other factors I don’t know anything about, why would I compare my speed at this moment with the speed of another runner? They’re irrelevant to each other. We just happen to be both running on the same path at the same time, but that’s coincidence, and nothing else is the same.
And even if everything else were exactly the same (would never happen), how would the comparison be useful? It would be meaningless even then.
The only thing I should focus on, as a runner, is myself. Enjoy the run. Learn about myself as I run. Keep going, and in doing so, I’ll get better — compared to myself.
And that’s the only thing we should focus on in life — enjoy the walk, learn about ourselves, keep taking steps and drop the comparisons. You’ll love the journey even more.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
30sec Tip: Don’t Give Others the Power to Control Your Emotions
Don’t give others the power to control your emotions. Those are only yours and it is only for you to manipulate.
Time after time you see a promising athlete come out of college and go into the pros only to bomb out. He or she had the best athletic ability, yet could not cut it at the professional level. Others might not have great athletic ability, get picked late in the draft and go onto become super stars. Tom Brady comes to mind as someone who wasn’t particularly outstanding in college who has gone on to be a probable first time inductee into the NFL Hall of Fame.
Personally I have seen the same. I spent many years in the US Army Special Forces. We would have tryouts who while in the best physical shape just could not make the grade to be a Green Beret. Others, who would seem to be nondescript, would pass the Special Forces Qualification course with flying colors and go onto to be an outstanding soldier.
You are probably asking yourself by now what is the difference? What do you need to perform at the highest levels, which is even more important than physical ability?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Attracting Wealth - Nlp and Hypnosis to Learn How to Add Value to Others
Attracting Wealth - Nlp and Hypnosis to Learn How to Add Value to Others by Michael J. Emery, M.A., C.Ht., M.NLP - Personal Development CoachThis product is manufactured on demand using CD-R recordable media. Amazon.com's standard return policy will apply.
Price: $8.98
Friday, February 4, 2011
Attracting Wealth - Nlp and Hypnosis to Learn How to Add Value to Others
Attracting Wealth - Nlp and Hypnosis to Learn How to Add Value to Others by Michael J. Emery, M.A., C.Ht., M.NLP - Personal Development CoachThis product is manufactured on demand using CD-R recordable media. Amazon.com's standard return policy will apply.
Price: $8.98
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