The misunderstood grizzly: A TED-Ed conversation on why brown bears deserve respect, not fear

Environment TED-Ed

In the 1800s, around 50,000 brown bears — or grizzlies — roamed much of the Western United States. Today, those bears can be seen in less than 2 percent of their former range.

TED-Ed Educator David Laskin uses NASA satellites to track the shifting, interrelated patterns of today’s grizzlies and the plants they live among. In the lesson, “Tracking grizzly bears from space,” he shows how he uses data to help protect the threatened bears. TED-Ed invited him to speak to two other bear experts — naturalist wildlife guide Simyra Taback, who observes, studies and teaches about bears on a daily basis, and nature documentarian Keith Scholey, who witnessed these majestic animals in the wild while directing the newest Disneynature documentary, Bears. Below, their three-way conversation about the current state of bears.

What attracted you to the study of bears?

David Laskin: What got me interested in bears is that they are pretty enigmatic. They share a lot of similarities with humans. They have generalist life history strategies; they have long maternal periods; they’re intelligent and they’re playful. They’re also kind of intimidating and scary. So, they easily piqued my curiosity. I live right along the interface between human settlements and bear habitat. And I see how their numbers are being affected by economic development and human activity.

Simyra Taback: Well, I grew up on a farm, and there was always wildlife there: coyotes, wolves, lynx. I started photography when I was about 14, with one of those little Kodak disk cameras, and that was kind of fun. Then as I got older, it progressed from there.  I started going out with Fish and Wildlife in northern Alberta to study the black bears in the area. I always wanted to see brown bears, so I took a trip to Alaska one year. I fell in love with the bears. I moved up to Alaska the following year and I’ve been there ever since — about 14 years.

Keith Scholey: Bears are so similar to us. You find so many parallels in a bear’s world that fit with a human’s. I think this is why we find them so engaging. I think people come into conflict with bears simply because often we would be going for the same food source — they fish in the same salmon rivers where we fish. The other thing about bears is that they are really smart. I mean, very, very smart. You can sort of see them working stuff out. They have personality, and they’re also very funny.

I think there is another side which always fascinated me: brown bears are either the teddy bear or the monster. How do you square the teddy bear and the monster? [Editor's note: Read about a TED2014 talk on that topic.] Well, bears are neither — they’re somewhere in the middle. But they’re far more like the teddy than the monster, that’s for sure.

A mother bear with cubs. Photo: Courtesy of Disney

So interesting that you say bears are funny. Do you have a funny anecdote about your time with bears?

Simyra Taback: They’re very playful. They’ll play with the driftwood logs and other stuff that floats up on the beach, like those plastic buoys that break off of fishing nets. Two cubs will kick a plastic buoy down the beach like it’s a soccer ball, and they’ll pick it up and throw it up in the air, just like little kids. They love to play. We see interaction between bear cubs and other wildlife like ravens or foxes. Sometimes, the bear will chase the fox down the beach and then they both stop, turn around, and the fox will chase the bear. Wildlife interacting with each other, in a natural habitat — just bears being bears — is great to see.

Stuart Brown’s TED Talk shares a story about an adult wolf and an adult polar bear playing in the wild — it’s fascinating. Have you ever seen anything like that?

Simyra Taback: We see that in the older male bears during the fishing season — we always say a full bear is a happy bear. You get one thousand pound brown bears and they play wrestle with each other. It’s like a bunch of little kids.

So bears have individual personalities? Do you think you could get to know a bear?

Simyra Taback: They do. We can pick individual bears out just by the way they walk, their habits, their personality quirks. Every bear is an individual. It’s great to watch. Bears are so unique.

Keith, Simyra was your wildlife guide for Bears. Did you ever see this playful side of bears?

Keith Scholey: Yes! [During filming], we were just sitting on a pile of driftwood, as you do by the beach, and this big old bear is wandering towards us. I’m asking Simyra, “So, what’s this bear going to do?” This bear just keeps on coming. So I say, “Hey Simyra! It’s coming straight at us still.” At a certain point, Simyra says, “Whoops, I’m going to have to go and do something about this.”

She takes a few steps forward, and sort of starts talking to the bear, and the bear keeps on coming, and then she changes her voice with the bear, and the bear slows down a bit. Simyra carries what we jokingly call the deadly rain pants. She never wears these rain pants; she always carries them tucked into her belt. So, she gets out the deadly rain pants. And she just flicks them at the bear. The bear says, “Oh! I don’t know about that.” Then the bear deviates and walks around us. That’s the end of that, and that’s a very typical kind of encounter you would have with a brown bear. The really sad thing is that most people experiencing that would probably have shot the bear. They would’ve thought they were in terrible danger. But we both knew there was no danger. The bear was very relaxed; the bear was minding his own business.

With that said, bears in different places behave very differently. And there’s some places where it would be extremely unwise to allow a big brown bear to come too close to you. But in Katmai National Park, where we were, you don’t have any difficulties with bears because you’re never really threatened by them.

A bear goes fishing. Photo: Courtesy of Disney

Are the bears that you study in danger themselves?

Simyra Taback: Any wildlife, especially large wildlife, is in danger in one form or another. With the bays freezing over later and later, the polar bears are losing a lot of their food sources. So the polar bears are going to have to adapt, or they’re going to die. Obviously in areas where there’s hunting or poaching, there’s a danger to the brown bear. But not only that, overpopulated areas keep encroaching onto the bear’s habitat, and that’s going to affect, among other things, their food sources.

David, how big of a problem is poaching?

David Laskin: Illegal poaching is just part of it. Mortality incidents are often accidental, and it’s just because there’s more human activity on the border between where people like to live and the wilderness. So, cars are hitting bears, and hunters are shooting brown bears thinking that they are deer or a different species of bear. Some hunters may even shoot a brown bear out of fear or self-defense. There is malicious, illegal poaching. People go out and look for a grizzly to kill, or they just opportunistically shoot them. This year we lost three of our study bears. They had GPS collars on them, and they were found in various areas across the study area because the GPS signals stopped moving. Sadly, they were shot from the side of the road.

Keith, I’d love to talk to you about this perception that bears are monsters. Do you think bears are dangerous?

Keith Scholey: If you statistically look at the most dangerous animal on the planet, I’m sorry to say it’s [humans].

You and I will quite happily go into a bar or restaurant full of people, and we’ll feel no sense of danger if it’s the right bar or the right restaurant. We might go into the wrong bar or wrong restaurant and feel a sense of danger. It’s very similar to that with bears. If you have bears that have lived in a place where they have had no reason to have fear of humans, they’ve had no reason to come into conflict.

So I would say, absolutely – brown bears can be incredibly dangerous animals. You have to know where you’re going, where you’re seeing them, and where you’re experiencing them. By and large, listen to the experts on the ground in that particular place. At Katmai National Park, hundreds of people every day are coming into direct contact with brown bears, and in the history of that park, I believe there have been two fatalities. Those were real freak incidents. With that kind of statistic, the most dangerous part about visiting Katmai National Park is the flight in. The bear isn’t the problem.

Is there anything that we can do to help protect bears, and maybe change their reputation?

Simyra Taback: Bears want to be left alone. They’re not as dangerous as people think they are, but people actually create the danger. People that go camping and leave food and garbage behind are creating opportunities for the bears to get into trouble. Once a bear realizes that campsites are a food source, they’re going to continue to look in those places — they relate humans to food sources.

A bear has an incredible sense of smell. If you throw that food item in the garbage, your human scent stays on that food item as well. Just say it’s an apple core that you’ve thrown out in the wilderness. If a bear eats that apple, it smells the scent of the apple plus the scent of the human. Now this doesn’t mean that the bear is going to sniff out a human and use the human as a food source, obviously. But he’s going to relate the fact that I got food from a person — or this thing that smells like a person — so then when he comes across an area that smells like people, it might think, “I got food from something that smelled like that before, I think I can get that again.”

Leaving a cooler with the lid closed is not going to protect what’s in the cooler. It’s funny how a lot of people think, “Oh! I put it in the back of my pickup truck, or I put it in my car.” That’s not going to protect it. That’s why they start breaking into vehicles that have food in them. People don’t realize that you can’t smell the food that’s in your vehicle from the outside, but a bear certainly can. People should be more conscious of that. Clean up your campsites, don’t leave garbage and don’t leave food. If you keep the area clean, that’s going to keep the bears away from the area. That’s going to make the area safer for people to enjoy the wilderness.

Bears. They’re just like us. Photo: Courtesy of Disney

David, what’s your take on this?

David Laskin: My lesson looks at when bears are using different parts of their habitat at different times of the year. I think it’s possible to go into a bear’s habitat at certain times of the year, and then when we know the bears are active in certain areas, then we can check out for a while. I think that’s the goal: to have that balance. 

It’s built into our psyche that these are big scary predators — something to be afraid of. I think that’s ingrained in us since the time of the first North American settlement — it took 100 years for 98% of the grizzly population in the lower 48 states to be eliminated. There’s inertia from this kind of pioneer mindset that bears are something to be purged from the landscape because they’re in direct conflict with what humans want to do.

To reduce that fear, we have to educate. The more people that know about bears, the more the ingrained fear is reduced. A lot of people rob themselves of the experience of enjoying the wilderness because they’re too scared. How you behave in the wilderness has a direct impact on how bears will respond to you. Grizzlies specifically don’t like to be surprised or feel threatened. That’s why people carry bells or make noise when they walk because it gives the bears a heads up that you’re sharing their habitat. If they know you’re coming, they can move out of the way. They’ll leave long before you ever get there. But if you come around the corner and the bear can’t hear you coming, the bear will perceive you as a threat. They’re not predatory in the sense that they’re out there actively hunting people; they’re just trying to neutralize the threat. They’re just eating berries most of the time.

If you could do another lesson about bears, what would it concentrate on?

David Laskin: Reducing that fear, learning how to coexist, and more about their intriguing natural history.

Keith, I’m interested to know why you made this movie about bears.

Keith Scholey: When you see what a mother bear goes through in the first year of raising cubs, you just think, “Wow! What a mom!” I think when you see the bears and their struggle — respect comes with that. You actually see that for a bear in the wild, life is tough. And I think the general gentle nature of bears will come across.

But the film is not unrealistic. You do see some violent scenes — bear on bear. It’s an honest portrayal of a bear’s world. I think that by seeing that honest portrayal, you’ll end up getting a feeling of huge respect for them. I hope people will value them because they will have enjoyed seeing their story. And then once you’re in the valuing stage, you get action. People go see bears, or they help to conserve bears, and so on and so forth. That’s the route we would like people to go down. And I think the cinema is a wonderful way to do that. In the cinema, you can immerse people for over an hour in the world of bears.

A still for David Laskin’s TED-Ed lesson on bears.

Any final thoughts?

Simyra Taback: Respect. The more respect we have for ourselves and for the wilderness and for the environment that the bears live in, the longer we’re going to be able to have this natural asset in the world. Everyone deserves to live and enjoy where they want to live, and that includes the wildlife as well. Respect it before it’s gone.

Keith Scholey: Disneynature Bears is about the coastal brown bear, which people call grizzlies. There’s a cast of other characters — like wolves and eagles and various others that kind of come into the story — but it’s pretty much a bear movie. Bears are animals you can build complete trust with and live together in the same space alongside once you’ve built that trust. That allowed us to make the film we made. They were always running away from us over the hillside — but then they completely let us into their world, and that is amazing.

David Laskin: I agree that the more you learn about nature or a specific species, the more eager you’ll be to protect that species. You’ll tell your friends and get them enthused. So I think that’s a gateway. But everyone has different interests — the wilderness isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That’s the cool thing about TED-Ed. It’s a consumable, interesting way to spread lessons about things that people may not have known about — things they didn’t even know they had an interest in. And from that interest and learning more, they’ll start to care about the world around them. They’ll start to realize that we all have to operate together in order to keep the planet moving in a positive direction.

This post originally ran on the TED-Ed Blog. Read much more about our education initiative »

Find out more about Disneynature’s Bears »

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We welcome talks and conversation on abortion as a social justice issue.

News

There have been reports online today that TED has “a policy against discussing abortion.” We’re happy to confirm that that is not true. We’re listening carefully to the community’s concern, and we agree that abortion and reproductive care are core issues of social justice and human rights.

In one story, our colleague Kelly Stoetzel is quoted as saying: “Abortion is more of a topical issue we wouldn’t take a position on, any more than we’d take a position on a state tax bill.” Kelly’s quote was taken out of context. TED doesn’t take a position on issues. That’s not what we do.

TED is a platform for discussion. We are committed to a stance of open-mindedness and respectful dialogue. And we seek talks that build bridges and spark conversation.

Anyone familiar with our catalog of talks, events and discussions on women’s issues and equality knows these issues are near and dear to us. (A playlist follows.) We’re proud to have shared these talks and conversations on important issues with the world.

Abortion is a tough topic to talk about, for everyone, because of the passionate responses it evokes. You can see this on our conversation platform, where we host dozens of discussions among our community about abortion. We agree it’s an important issue, and look forward to continuing to promote the discussion of equality and social justice for women.

As a start, some TED Talks on social justice, access to reproductive health and equality. If you have great suggestions for reproductive-rights speakers, share your recommendation here >>

Esta Soler: How we turned the tide on domestic violence (Hint: the Polaroid helped)

Sheryl WuDunn: Our century’s greatest injustice

Melinda Gates: Let’s put birth control back on the agenda

Kavita Ramdas: Radical women, embracing tradition

Tyrone Hayes + Penelope Jagessar Chaffer: The toxic baby

Hanna Rosin: New data on the rise of women

Sheryl Sandberg: So we leaned in … now what?

Jackson Katz: Violence against women—it’s a men’s issue

Zainab Salbi: Women, wartime and the dream of peace

Courtney Martin: This isn’t her mother’s feminism

Megan Kamerick: Women should represent women in media

Noel Bairey Merz: The single biggest health threat women face

Deborah Rhodes: A test that finds 3x more breast tumors, and why it’s not available to you

Paula Johnson: His and hers … healthcare?

Manal al-Sharif: A Saudi woman who dared to drive

Kakenya Ntaiya: A girl who demanded school

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Everything You Are Looking For: TED Fellows Ryan Holladay and Alicia Eggert have a conversation about their new exhibit

art TED Fellows TED Fellows Ryan Holladay (left) and Alicia Eggert (center) have opened a new exhibit, called Everything You Are Looking For, with the help of Artisphere co-curator Cynthia Connolly (right). Photo: Artisphere

Alicia Eggert makes kinetic sculptures that investigate the nature of language and time. Meanwhile, Ryan Holladay is a musical artist who creates sound-specific installations and GPS compositions as part of the duo BLUEBRAIN. Just a week before TED2013, Eggert and Holladay made contact for the very first time.

See, Holloday is a curator of new media at Artisphere. And he was sitting in his office with how co-curator, Cynthia Connolly, when an inquiry came in from an artist — Eggert, of course. Holloday found her materials intriguing — he loved the way she modified simple household items and was enamored with her highly complex interactive sculptures. He explains, ”But this had me pinching myself: like me, Alicia was a 2013 TED Fellow and she, too, would be speaking at the conference the following week in Long Beach.”

Eggert and Holloday struck up a friendship at TED. The two began dreaming up something to work on together. And while Artisphere has galleries of many shapes and sizes, Holloday felt it was only right to set up an exhibit for Eggert in their flagship space, the Terrace Gallery, located just outside Washington DC.

“Alicia is one of the most talented and inventive artists I’ve come across in some time,”  Holloday tells the TED Blog. “She’s an artist with a highly developed vision, an artist who is ready for something big.”

This exhibit, called Everything You Are Looking For, opens on December 5th and will run through February 2nd. It is Eggert’s largest solo exhibition ever. To celebrate, the TED Blog got Holladay and Eggert together for chat — about their work, their process, their collaboration. Oh, and life. Below, read an edited transcript of their conversation and see some very cool images of the exhibition.

Holloday: So you’ve just finished a marathon of an install. Is that a process you enjoy?

Eggert: I have a love/hate relationship with the installation process. In some ways, it stresses me out, because so much of my work is kinetic, and I’m always afraid it’s not going to work properly. And there’s always the chance a neon letter will break if you just look at it the wrong way. But I really enjoyed the installation at Artisphere. Nothing broke or went wrong. But more importantly, it was fun to work with you and Cynthia, and to engage in a dialogue with the two of you about the work and where it should be placed in the gallery. It gave me a new perspective of my work.

Holloday: I can imagine with so many moving parts there’d be a level of anxiety — the feeling of anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But now that it’s all up, it must be a relief.

Eggert: Yes! Is your working relationship with each artist completely different?

Holloday: Every artist is different for sure. And with new media work, it gets a bit tricky sometimes. There are artists who have all their ducks in a row. Then there are others who may be experimenting with some new technology for the first time, and it doesn’t work exactly how they planned and we find ourselves in triage mode hours before an opening. I once had to do a Skype session with an artist in Japan as he walked me through taking apart and reassembling his work.

Eggert: That sounds incredibly stressful. But it’s great that Artisphere is willing to work with artists who are taking risks and exploring unfamiliar territories.

Holloday: I liked walking into the gallery and hearing you listening to that Haim record! Do you usually listen to music when you work?

Eggert: It depends. If it’s a familiar, repetitive task, I love listening to music or even watching a television show. For example, when I was working on the wiring all of the “Lost Gloves” in my recent artist residency at Sculpture Space in Utica, NY, I watched a few episodes of Breaking Bad. But when I’m doing work that requires any kind of problem solving, I prefer to work in silence.

Holloday: One of the things about making music is that you can’t listen to music while you’re working! I get jealous of painters or architects who can get to work and go through the entire Kate Bush catalogue on Spotify. Sometimes when I want to listen to NPR or a new record or something I’ll play Super Mario 3. I’ve played that game so many times, it kind of puts me in a trance where I can focus all my attention on what I’m hearing.

Eggert: I can totally relate. I can get into a similar trance-like headspace when I’m driving. I get some of my best ideas on long-distance road trips.

A look at the installation of Alicia’s work in the Terrace Gallery at Artisphere. Photo: Artisphere

The back of YAY (2011). Thirty two wall-mounted box fans are hidden behind rows of red and silver metallic fringe streamers. The large red letters dance erratically as the fans turn on and off. Made in collaboration with Mike Fleming. Photo: Alicia Eggert

Holloday: Language seems to play a big role in many of your pieces. You seem to play with our notions of how language is used and often overlooked. For instance, in “You Are (On) An Island,” in drawing attention to how removing one word from a simple sentence can change its meaning significantly. Do you  ever think about how your work might effect someone who isn’t a native English speaker? And have you ever considered working with other languages?

Eggert: I feel lucky that my native language is one that has become so universal. I often wonder how my work would be different if English wasn’t as widely spoken as it is, because it’s always been very important to me that my work is accessible to as many people as possible — something from my Evangelical Christian upbringing that I’ve carried over to my practice as an artist. I would love to be given the opportunity to work sculpturally with another language, especially one that’s completely different from English visually, like Arabic. But I don’t think that’s something I would pursue on my own without a specific reason, like a commission.

Holloday: Well, as the saying goes: “????? ??? ????? ???? ?? ??????? ?? ????.”

Eggert: I’m really curious about your collaborative process. I love collaborating with other artists on visual projects, but I wonder how the process is different with sound.

Holloday: Hays [his brother and BLUEBRAIN collaborator] and I are sharing ideas all the time. Now that we’re living in different cities, everything has to be done remotely. So whether that’s some conceptual art project or an actual melody, we generally have these open lines of communication over the phone, text, email and Skype where we bounce ideas off of one another. I think we look for a reaction from the other to see which ideas might have legs, and that’s usually how we start. But, you know, we’ve worked together since we were kids so I don’t really know any other way of doing it, honestly. It’s fantastic in some ways because you can move really quickly and it’s kind of like having two brains working at once. But on the flip side, if a disagreement turns into an argument, it goes nuclear very quickly. Siblings know exactly what buttons to press. How does it work with Mike [Fleming, Eggert’s partner] when you two collaborate?

Eggert: For Mike and me, every project seems to evolve out of a conversation. “Eternity“ started with a car ride. We drove past a church that had a big sign out front saying something about spending eternity in heaven, so we started to talked about that word and what it actually meant. We decided it would be a fun word to mine for an art project. Then we just started brainstorming, bouncing ideas back and forth about it. I forget who came up with the idea to use clocks to spell it, but I remember us both saying, “YES! That’s it!” And then it took months to figure out how to actually do that.

Holloday: Isn’t that the best, when you can’t remember who actually came up with an idea? I feel that’s a sign of a healthy collaboration, where your brain has sort of relinquished the need for ownership or something and who initially birthed the concept or a part of it seems unimportant.

Eggert: I totally agree. You have to totally let go of your ideas, and completely give them to the other person to see where they can take them. But having a collaborative working relationship with someone you love can be challenging. It’s important for Mike and me to maintain a part of our relationship that doesn’t have to do with our work, so it doesn’t feel like we’re just business partners, so we can salvage some romance. Do you and Hays have to worry about similar things, or no?

Holloday: Well the romance died years ago with Hays and me. No, but to be serious, I think there was a period of time when I wasn’t sure if we were going to be able to work together in the future. We were always able to get down in the dirt and argue about ideas and have that be separate from our friendship. But there came a point where that seemed more and more difficult, and the distinction between our personal and working relationship became less clear. And I felt like, as much as I loved working with him, it wasn’t worth damaging what had always been a really close relationship. What changed, I think, was when we started working on these location-aware compositions, because we were starting from scratch and creating something completely new that neither of us knew anything about. We were learning about software development, about landscape architecture, about interface design and so on. And so it became this feeling of discovery that I think had gotten lost somewhere along the way.

Eggert: You were in new territory together. I can see how that would change the rules. I think that’s when collaborations work best. Can you tell me a little bit about what you’re working on right now?

Holloday: Well, as a curator at Artisphere, I’m working on a number of projects, including putting together a sound exhibition in the Terrace Gallery for next summer. I’m trying to bring TED Fellow Christine Sun Kim down for that one! As for Hays and me, we have about 10 projects we’re working on together right now, little ones and big ones. We’re finishing up a new record — a traditional, start-to-finish linear album — that I’m really excited about. But we’ve been talking about releasing it in a different way than we’ve done before. I feel like it’s a bit early to explain much more, but I’m really excited about it. We’re also starting to transition into a slightly different way of doing these location-aware composition apps, doing them as commissions for spaces and museums, which has been fun. Hopefully we’ll have three of those done in the next two years.

Egger: Wow, and I thought I was busy! It sounds like you have your hands full. I can’t wait to hear your new album.

Holloday:  Considering how carefully you chose words and how prominent they are in so many of your pieces, the pressure to pick a great baby name must be high.

Eggert: You would think so, right? But I’ve been so busy working on this show at Artisphere that I regret to say I haven’t had much time to think about what’s coming next. I still can’t believe I’m having a baby! But it will certainly be my most exciting collaborative project with Mike to date.

Holloday: My money’s on Eternity Eggert. Has a nice ring to it.

Everything You Are Looking For (2012). A neon sign whose jumbled letters slowly reveals the phrase “Everything you are looking for is invisible.” Made in collaboration with Amy Jorgensen. Photo: Alicia Eggert

Another view of Everything You Are Looking For. Photo: Alicia Eggert

Present Perfect (2013). A rock sits on the keyboard of an open laptop, typing the letter Y into in infinity in Microsoft Word. Photo: Alicia Eggert

And a bonus image: Ryan Holladay and his brother Hays perform at the Sweetlife Festival wearing masks of one another’s faces, designed by Kashuo Bennett. Photo: Margot MacDonald

Everything You Are Looking For has its  opening reception on Thursday, December 5th, and will run until February 2nd. Artisphere is located at 1101 Wilson Blvd. Arlington, VA 22209.

Want to know more about Eggert and her work? Check out her Fellows Friday profile »

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‘digital dementia’ lowdown – from The Conversation

The Headlines

The Telegraph: Surge in ‘digital dementia’

The Daily Mail: ‘Digital dementia’ on the rise as young people increasingly rely on technology instead of their brain

Fox News: Is ‘digital dementia’ plaguing teenagers?

The Story

South Korea has the highest proportion of people with smartphones, 67%. Nearly 1 in 5 use their phone for more than 7 hours in a day, it is reported. Now a doctor in Seoul reports that teenagers are reporting with symptoms more normally found in those with head injury or psychiatric illness. He claims excessive smartphone use is leading to asymmetrical brain development, emotional stunting and could “in as many as 15 per cent of cases lead to the early onset of dementia”.

What they actually did

Details from the news stories are sketchy. Dr Byun Gi-won, in Seoul, provided the quotes, but it doesn’t seem as if he has published any systematic research. Perhaps the comments are based on personal observation?

The Daily Mail quotes an article which reported that 14% of young people felt that their memory was poor. The Mail also contains the choice quote that “[Doctors] say that teenagers have become so reliant on digital technology they are no longer able to remember everyday details such as their phone numbers.”

How plausible is this?

It is extremely plausible that people should worry about their memories, or that doctors should find teenagers uncooperative, forgetful and inattentive. The key question is whether our memories, or teenagers’ cognitive skills, are worse than they ever have been – and if smart phones are to blame for this. The context for this story is a recurring moral panic about young people, new forms of technology and social organisation.

For a long time it was TV, before that it was compulsory schooling (“taking kids out of their natural environment”). When the newspaper became common people complained about the death of conversation. Plato even complained that writing augured the death of memory and understanding). The story also draws on the old left brain-right brain myth, which – despite being demonstrably wrong – will probably never die.

Tom’s take

Of course, it is possible that smartphones (or the internet, or TV, or newspapers, or writing) could damage our thinking abilities. But all the evidence suggest the opposite, with year by year and generation-by-generation rises found in IQ scores. One of the few revealing pieces of research in this area showed that people really are more forgetful of information they know can be easily retrieved, but actually better able to remember where to find that information again.

This isn’t dementia, but a completely normally process of relying on our environment to store information for us. You can see the moral panic driving these stories reflected in the use of that quote about teenagers not being able to remember phone numbers. So what! I can’t remember phone numbers any more – because I don’t need to. The only evidence for dementia in these stories is the lack of critical thought from the journalists reporting them.

Read more

Vaughan Bell on a media history of information scares.

Christian Jarret on Why the Left-Brain Right-Brain Myth Will Probably Never Die

This article was originally published at The Conversation.
Read the original article.

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How to Keep a Conversation Going & Never Run Out of Things to Say

One of the BIGGEST problems you may face when trying to meet new friends is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place, but there is a way to get around it. In the past, I I struggled with this so much that I thought it could never be solved. I even thought it had to do with my DNA or something… but I proved myself wrong when I learned how to solve it. Not knowing how to keep a conversation going can really harm your social life, but if you know how to keep those words flowing, you can meet, talk to, and get to know pretty much anyone you like—creating great possibilities for friendship, fun, and shared activities that you would otherwise have missed out on.

After studying this in depth, I found patterns of behavior that can keep you from making great conversation with people. One of these common behaviors is the habit of filtering—holding back from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make sure that what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting. What does that do to your conversation ability? It kills it! Another problem is not learning to get in the mood for conversation. If you spent a whole day working or studying analytical or logical subjects, and you don’t know how to switch from that, then it can take a lot of time to warm up and start interacting with people socially. You can overcome this simply by learning a few new skills, such as the ones listed below. Once you do that, you’ll be able to talk to new people, and make friends, much more easily.

Let’s get you started with a couple of basic,  yet solid techniques on how to be a great conversationalist:

This is the reflex that allows you to say whatever goes on in your mind. No filtering, no checking with yourself  ”would I sound cool if I say this?”. None of that. The best way to practice this is to start doing it with people you kind of know—do you dare to try it? It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed to say whatever is on your mind, and no-one is going to judge you for it. As long as you don’t say anything that could land you in jail, you’re okay! People don’t care too much about how “awesome” what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on how THEY are coming across. Get it? If so, let’s move on…

This works 99% of the time. It’s a surefire technique, and it works especially well for beginners. People love to know that you’re interested in what they have to say, so if you show some interest, they’ll hang around and want to talk to you even more. All of the “oh! that’s interesting…”, “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that”, “Hmm, cool!”expressions are reactionary bits of conversation that prove to the other person that you’re really listening, and that’s very flattering to them.

Everyone knows that stories juice-up conversations, but most people only talk about stories their own lives. You don’t have to draw from your own experience when speaking with someone: you can use stories from anywhere, from stories that happened to people you know, to those you came across via the radio,TV, magazines, etc. How can you integrate the stories into your conversation? The key is to first realize that you can use them. You’ve already heard them, and the more interesting or weird they are, the harder they are to forget, so you’re all good. Your brain doesn’t lose them. When someone mentions something related to any of them, just tell the story, even if it’s not from your life. It can be any silly story, short or long, interesting, or totally awkward—just use it! People love talking to people who can just share stuff openly like that. These techniques should get you started, but if you want to take it to an advanced level—to the point where you can just have fun when talking to anyone, meet the right people you want in your life, and be able to make friends with them fast—then I recommend that you take a little time to learn more about how conversations work. If you do that, you’ll make conversations far more interesting, with natural ease, avoiding all awkward silences that might prevent you from meeting the right friends that you would love to have around.

[Update: If you're looking for tips on how to start a conversation try the FORM technique]

Featured photo credit:  Two wonderful girls talk and look at the stripped scarf sitting at the desk at the library via Shutterstock

Paul Sanders teaches you how to: Overcome Shyness and Loneliness ; Master Conversation and Critical Social Skills ; Make Friends and Build a Social Circle. You can visit Paul, here: Get The Friends You Want

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Connected but alone? Highlights from our Live Conversation with Sherry Turkle

Yesterday, TED2012 speaker Sherry Turkle held a 1-hour Live Conversation around her new TEDTalk “Connected but alone?” She asked the TED.com community this question: “How has digital technology changed the kind of communications you have with your friends, family and coworkers?”

Here are some highlights of the back-and-forth:

Vanessa Borg : “Changes in digital technology has not only helped us but it has hindered us at the same time. Whereas up to until a couple of years ago you could enjoy a dinner with a person knowing that you have their complete attention, nowadays you know that as soon as their bag/ pocket/ jacket starts to vibrate they have a need to check what has happened. Ultimately I believe that what we are trying to achieve is social acceptance from our own social circle. Nowadays this acceptance is measured either by how many people like your status or by how many people share your image.”

Sherry Turkle: Dear Vanessa . . . I think you point to a really important point! The metric of who one is cannot be measured by how many Facebook friends who have or how many people like your status or follow you on Twitter. Yet now we have these metrics and they can be oppressive. This is such an important point!” Read more >>

Clayton Papillon:  Sherry, this conversation has answered a few questions I had after I watched your talk. However, you mentioned in your talk to take more time for yourself and have more face-to-face conversations/interactions. For the most part technology has allowed us to take more time for ourselves because you can respond to a question/text/email instantly. If we were to always engage face-to-face (like we used too) we would lose a lot of valuble time to complete other tasks and have more face-to-face conversations with those we adore. Also, your talk seemed to pin technology and communication in a negative light while ignoring the brilliance of it. As we have realized in the last few years more people in this world actually have a voice now because of the way technology allows us to communicate. Information through social media has the power to change the world. Through this realization I find that sometimes I have more in common with a person in South America then I do with my own neighbour, among other things.  Historically speaking, communication has limited the way civilizations interact, do business, and develop. Not to mention it has only served those who can communicate or are listened too. We are now living in a world interconnected by social media and although there might be small negative impacts, it surely brings a large positive light to our global civilization.Thank you for your conversation! :) “

Sherry Turkle: Clayton, I think you misunderstand me. I am very positive. But I think when we ignore what hasn’t gone right, we do so at our peril. That is my position. So, I honor what has gone brilliantly! But some things are not going so well. And I don’t want us to lose sight of them. I don’t want it to be an either/or thing.”  Read more >>

Samuel Cook : ” I also find that while digital communication helps us hide from the audible and physical side of the conversation, it reveals a different kind of confrontation. When people can see your words they can judge spelling and ability to express yourself legibly. This has a few impacts. I tend to judge people’s intelligence on how well they can spell now, and while it might be inspiring to converse with somebody who can speak with beautiful flow, that doesn’t always convert in text. It also has brought to the surface a huge problem with spelling that may not have been addressed on such a large scale in the past, but unfortunately when weaknesses are unearthed they are often justified and glamorized to hide them in plain sight. We are allowing these problems to grow on a large scale in the upcoming generation.” Read more >> 

You can access the full conversation here >>

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The 12 Golden Rules of Great Conversation: Part 2

This is a continuation of the 2 part series “The 12 Golden Rules of Great Conversation.”

7. Great playfulness

What do all great conversationalists have in common? They know how to play with the conversation. They can make their conversation fun. They do not take everything literally or seriously. 

If you are with a friend, and you get up to use the restroom, and they ask you, “where are you going?” You don’t always have to respond, “To the restroom.”

Instead, you could say something less predictable and more playful, like, “it’s a secret…” or a sarcastic “I’m leaving, I’m sick of your attitude” or “who wants to know?” or “I’m going to go buy that girl a drink…not really, I’m not that cool.”

Introducing play to a conversation opens the door for them to play along. For example, you might tell your spouse, “I’m going for a run…I’ll be back soon…” and if you add a fanciful hypothetical like, “unless I collapse from heat exhaustion…” or “unless I get attacked by stray dogs,” it becomes playful.

This opens the door for them to play along with something like, “Okay…just in case, how much is your life insurance policy worth again?” or “If I don’t see you back in 20 minutes then I’ll call the search and rescue team to come find you.”

Great conversationalists don’t always speak in literal terms such as, “the printer isn’t working well today.”  Instead, they may apply a fun metaphor, like, “The printer is being temperamental today” or “I’m currently fighting a battle with the printer… and the printer is winning. I might need reinforcements…”

8. Great interest in them

This is one of the easiest paths to great conversation (but many people don’t seem to take it very seriously). It goes beyond just listening to their long story about the time they outran a grizzly bear in Virginia. It’s about asking follow up questions. It’s about making comments about the events that they are describing. It’s about giving them attention and allowing the conversation to center on them and their interests. Be excited for them when they tell you that they just received a promotion. Sympathize with them when they tell you that they just lost their wallet.  Be interested in what is happening in their life.  

As the great Dale Carnegie once said,

“The best way to be likeable is to be interested in the other person.”

9. Great questions

What’s the secret to maintaining a conversation? 

Ask great questions. 

Great questions are not always literal and information-seeking. If you’re out to lunch with your friend and ask, “How’s your job going?” – that’s a basic information-seeking question, and you’ll probably receive a basic answer such as, “It’s good.” Upgrade your conversation by thinking outside the box and taking a fun approach, like, “Have they made you CEO yet?” or “Is your boss still keeping you in that hamster cage?” These questions may appear playful on the surface, but they can still contain real inquiries about real topics.

The literal questions can steer a conversation to different topics, but the fun questions can keep the conversation playful and entertaining. Fun questions are often rhetorical in nature and don’t always seek a genuine response. They are meant to introduce playfulness to the conversation so it doesn’t become stuck in serious-land.

Maybe you see a coworker coming out of the building with a computer monitor. Instead of a literal, “What are you doing with that?” you could ask a playful hypothetical question, “Stealing office equipment again, huh?” Now that you’ve introduced a playful element, they may play along, with something to extent of, “You caught me!…hey are you looking for a monitor? 10 bucks and it’s yours!”

10. Great responses

Great conversation is like a great tennis match. If someone asks a poor conversationalist how their weekend was, they often reply with, “It was good.” 

Merely answering a question is not enough for great conversation. After answering, it’s your turn to hit the tennis ball back so the conversation can keep going. Offer your tennis partner something to play with (something to respond to). After saying, “it was good,” provide a reason why it was good, offer an example or share a story. Talk about how you feel about it. Then even ask a question back. 

It’s also important to match their energy. Did they just have a baby? Share in their joy! Act excited, ask them follow up questions.

Great responses are sometimes playful. Maybe they complain to you, “My fingers are so cold…” And you could respond with something boring like, “that’s too bad.” Or you could offer something playful,

“You’re always cold. Maybe it’s a medical condition. I think your blood vessels actually stop at your wrists and don’t go up into your fingers.” 

and then they may play back,

“Maybe you’re right. That’s why my fingers are always blue. I should probably get checked out.”

11. Great stories

It’s not easy to entertain groups of people with interesting stories. The good news is that stories don’t have to be Pulitzer-Prize worthy for your listeners to enjoy them. In fact, some of the best stories are simple stories about every day events that may describe a unique twist or occurrence.

Stories do not need to be elaborate and long. Did your pet dog accidently nibble on your new shoes? Did your toddler throw up at the grocery store? These events can make great stories, and most stories can be squeezed into 30 seconds. 

Great stories have some common characteristics. Make it a goal to include some or all of these story parts in your next story:

Setup: For example, “That reminds me, I was just at that store two days ago and I saw the strangest thing.”

Contrast against what normally occurs:  “I was watching this movie and I figured it was just going to be some boring “chick-flick”, but…”

or

“…and normally they would just get up and leave, but this time they…”

Details:  Details add color and imagery to any story. Instead of, “and some girl bumped into me…”

try

“and some heroin-addict looking girl bumped into me…”

Dialogue: Always add dialogue when you can. It’s easy and entertaining. “I was like, ‘When is this party going to end? This guy is so creepy!”

Reaction:  “He bought me lunch… and I was stunned, I couldn’t believe it!”

Turning Point: Great stories have turning points, like, “It was that moment where I felt…”

Post Commentary: Don’t forget to comment about your story, “If it wasn’t for Joe, I don’t know where we’d be right now! Probably stuck in a ditch somewhere.”

Limiting your story to 20 – 30 seconds may not seem like much time, but if they want to hear more, they will let you know! 

12. Great initiative

Great conversation can only occur when at least two people are taking initiative. One sided conversations are never “great.” Simply responding to someone talking with, “oh yeah,” or “that’s neat,” or “I like it too,” is not a great conversation.

State your opinions more often. “Wow, she needs to put down the mascara,” or “This is my favorite Italian restaurant of all time,” or “You look kind of like a homeless man today.”

It also helps to add some superlative or definitive statements as well. They are simply more interesting than wishy-washy, passive statements. For example:

“That’s the best coffee I’ve ever had…I can’t believe it’s so cheap.”

“Easily one of the top five movies I’ve seen this year.”

“I always read XYZ, it’s the only magazine that I fully trust.”

And when you can, go beyond just stating your opinion. Add support. Add some commentary. For example: 

Opinion: “I’m excited to try this place.”

Support: “I’ve heard great things. I actually haven’t had Italian in a long time. I’ve been on a Chinese kick lately.”

Commentary: “I actually think my kitchen is starting to permanently smell like Chinese food!”

Conclusion

It’s important to remember that developing conversation skills is a lifelong journey. If you always aim to be perfect, you will lose out on the most important rule of them all; have fun.

(Photo credit: Conversation courtesy of Shutterstock)

Geoff Peart, M.Ed., is the author of the blog, mysocialupgrade.com, where people can learn how to improve their social skills and their lives. All of the content is free and updated weekly.

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TEDxWomen: A truly global conversation

On December 1st, TEDxWomen will take place at the Paley Centers in both New York and LA.

Simultaneously, over 110 TEDxWomen events will be hosted by TEDx event Organizers in communities all around the world, including China, The Netherlands, Israel, Pakistan, Romania, South Africa, Lebanon and the United States. Besides watching the webcast of TEDxWomen, some of these events will incorporate local speakers, bringing local flavor to the global conversation:

TEDxBFUWomen — an event in Beijing, China — will host outstanding female speakers that include professors of biology and business, as well as student leaders.

In its second year after hosting an event around TEDWomen, TEDxAmsterdamWomen — held at the Van Gogh Museum — will highlight Dutch thinkers and doers.

At TEDxCrestmoorParkWomen in Denver, Colorado, will feature local women and their amazing stories.

TEDxDirahWomen in Saudi Arabia will feature women speakers from the region including a biologist and a library director.

Find more events on the TEDxWomen website »

Learn more about organizers of these TEDxWomen events »

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TEDxWomen: The conversation continues … and you can join

Cross-posted from the TEDx Tumblr: Last year’s TEDWomen conference has inspired an ambitious TEDx event: TEDxWomen, a one-day bi-coastal event held in NY and LA on December 1, independently organized and hosted by Pat Mitchell and The Paley Center for Media.

Speakers including Barbara Walters, singer-songwriter Morley, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Jane Fonda, Gloria Steinem and documentarion Jennifer Siebel Newsom will convene under the theme “The Conversation Continues.”

You can bring this global conversation local by hosting a TEDx viewing event around TEDxWomen in your own community.

Last year, 117 TEDx events in 46 countries — including the United States, Colombia, Singapore, South Africa and Brazil — were planned around the TEDWomen webcast. Speakers at these local events included a pair of Dutch opera singers, an Olympic silver medalist and a Disney-trained animator from the UAE.

This year, be a part of this ongoing conversation around the future of women and girls — host a TEDx event around TEDxWomen. Learn more >>

Keep up with the latest TEDxWomen news on the TEDxWomen website, Facebook page and Twitter.

Photo from TEDxOttawa, Ottawa, Canada

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The 12 Golden Rules of Great Conversation: Part 1 of 2

Golden Rules of Conversation

All great conversations share common elements. Familiarize yourself with each of the 12 Golden Rules, and you will improve your interpersonal communication skills immediately.

1. Great Descriptions

Do you want to sound more interesting? Then start with your descriptions. The best communicators use more creative names for things – instead of using obvious descriptive names, such as, “here’s some more beer…” try, “here’s some more poison…” or “here’s some more liquid courage…” or reference the commercial, “this Bud’s for you…” You get the idea? Don’t default to the trite word just because you’re used to always saying it that way.

Advertisers and good writers know that using visual imagery and emotion is the fastest way to your heart (and wallet). People prefer visual imagery and emotionally packed words. Instead of saying “it was cold” you could say that you “couldn’t even feel your fingers.”

Instead of: “That’s a huge burger!”

Paint a picture: “That thing is a heart attack on a plate!”

Instead of: “I’m so upset, I’m gonna need to calm down.”

Paint a picture: “I’m so upset, I’m gonna need to go buy a decaf iced coffee…”

2. Great Contrasts and Comparisons

What if I asked you how your trip to Disney World was? You could say something boring like, “It was fun…” Or you could include a quick contrast to make your phrase twice as interesting, “It was fun…no one fell off a roller coaster or anything…so it was fun…”

You can always state what something is not like. “I’m very upset, not angry upset, but nervous upset.” Or “That’s not trickle-down economics, that’s more like mist down economics…” People enjoy hearing contrasts. Stating an exception helps clarify, add contrast, and dimension.

Many radio personalities use this technique to add balance and substance to their opinions (plus it helps them fill air time). Instead of saying, “I think he’s an excellent quarterback…” they may say something like, “I think he’s an excellent quarterback…now I’m not saying he’s Joe Montana…but he’s really good…”

When you use comparisons, don’t be afraid to expand and explain them. “She’s gorgeous, she’s at the highest level of gorgeous…higher than Kim Kardashian gorgeous… and it doesn’t get much higher than that…”

3. Great Non-Verbal Communication

Most experts agree – non-verbal communication is often more important than the words you speak. Psychologists have consistently discovered that people are the most drawn to those who have energy in their voice and mannerisms.

Take your listener on a roller coaster ride. This is the greatest metaphor for figuring out how to use energy more effectively. You cannot simply inject energy into every word you speak and hope that works. The trick is to vary your energy and inflection. Stay away from a flat, monotone voice. When you speak, vary the energy you put into each word or phrase. Try to emphasize the important words. Vary your volume; speak slightly louder for important phrases. Treat your voice like a roller coaster – are you taking the audience on a fun ride or a boring ride? Are there some dips and lulls?

Control your speed. Great conversationalists can change their speed at will. This works because when your speed never changes, your vocal patterns are predictable. And predictable = boring. Is it important? Then try saying it more slowly. Poor conversationalists tend to talk at the same rate and often too quickly. Speak in chunks, and don’t be afraid of a pause.

Unconscious habits. Can any of the following nicknames describe you? Anxious Eyes? Statue Face? Mumble Mouth? Lethargic Larry? You may not even be aware of a bad habit; try to be more conscious of what your body does during an interaction. Ask a close friend for objective feedback.

Gesture more. People enjoy movement, and gesturing is an easy and free way to add this entertaining element to your conversations.

4. Great Outlook

Great conversationalists are always humble and have a positive outlook. They may qualify phrases with modest setups like, “I don’t know a lot, but I do know that she…”

When they respond to someone, they look for the positive parts. Rather than saying, “That’s stupid” they say, “Well at least you didn’t have to ____ .”

5. Great Human Traits

It seems very obvious, but expressing human emotion is key to great conversation. Did they get a raise? Act thrilled and happy for them! Is this the first time seeing them in a few weeks? Act excited to see them! Are you eating a delicious piece of chocolate German cake – then say so! Describe how wonderful it is and how it makes you feel. Poor conversationalists often have difficulty expressing their emotions and feelings. If someone buys you a gift, just saying, “thank you” is not enough. Express your appreciation non-verbally as well. Conversations without the human elements can wither and die.

6. Great Intersecting Interests

Everyone has a bucket of interests that they love to discuss. You may love talking about butterfly mating habits and the other person may love discussing fashion trends of 17th European Royalty. You may assume that if you just talk about the other person and their interests all day, the conversation will go along swimmingly. Not so. Good conversation is never one-sided. Even the most selfish people want to hear about your opinions and your thoughts and your interests sometimes. Great conversationalists are constantly searching for where their interests and their conversational partner’s interests intersect. Think Venn diagram. When you find these intersections of interests, keep the conversation honed in around those topics.

What if they like to ski but you never have? At the very least, discuss a topic that is similar to the topic they enjoy. You could probably regale them with the story about how you went mountain climbing and they would still be interested.

To be continued in Part 2…

Geoff Peart, M.Ed., is the author of the blog, mysocialupgrade.com, where people can learn how to improve their social skills and their lives. All of the content is free and updated weekly.

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Conversation with Pro Photographer Chase Jarvis: Creating a Life of Creativity, Income, and Sweaty Palms

I first met Chase Jarvis at a Summit Series dinner in Washington, DC.

It was sensory overload from the beginning: Olivia Munn was seated on my left, Mark Cuban was across the table, and everyone was drinking too much wine. Then, a Polaroid camera appeared in my hand (thank you, time travel) — in fact, multiple cameras were placed at every table — and creative chaos ensued.

Chase, as creative MC of that dinner, knew exactly what he was doing when he architected the bonding exercise. He’s become a superstar in the world of professional photography by showcasing his mastery of the craft (best known for sports and lifestyle pics), while using PR and branding to further his art instead of compromise it. He’ll go off-the-grid indie one week, and the next week, he’ll be the only person besides Lady Gaga to join the Polaroid creative team.

How does he do it?

How do you balance — nay, OPTIMIZE — artistic purity and commercial success as a “creative,” whether a photographer or otherwise? “Optimize,” in this context, for the best combination of lifestyle, integrity, and income?

Chase and I explore this topic and many others in his beautiful studio… and don’t miss his very Punk’d-like surprise for me at the end. It’s related to my first-ever photo shoot as photographer, which he walks me through.

Hint #1: Sweaty palms. Hint #2:

I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did. Here are some more of the pics from our little experiment.

Whom should Chase interview next, or whom should I interview next? Let us know in the comments.

###

Odds and Ends: Room to Read library names

I’m still blown away that you all helped raise more than $30,000 for a $20,000 project, which has therefore become $60,000 after matching. As promised, 30 of you will be thanked by name on plaques, 10 names on each of three schools. Here are the “winners” — generous contributors and fundraisers:

From the fundraising competition:
Grand prize: Melissa Rachel Black = Grand-prize winner of RT ticket anywhere in the world (watch your e-mail, Melissa!)
Second place: Rachel Rofe
Third place: David Turnbull

Thanks to all who competed! Every person made a difference, and you should be proud of your real-world karmic capitalism.

The top-30 most generous donors, in no particular order:

Ami Grimes
Tom Cronin
Kenny Tomasian
Wesley Butler
Benjamin Johnson
Angela Johnson
Hrag Richard Toutikian
Charlton Locke
Chris Camillo
Damian Hehir
Rosane Oliveira
Damien Forsythe
Spiderhost, Inc – Dale Frohman
Michael Gridley
Cathy Baker
David Turnbull
John Bracco
Caroline Sdano
Jay Vinsel
Kevin Pavlish
William Schwalbe
Kelley Bieringer
Jason Hauck
Justin Smith
Paul Kearns
Eric Aber

You all rock. More coming as soon as I start to get status updates on the school construction in Cambodia, Laos, and Nepal :)

Posted on August 30th, 2011

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Start a Conversation with a Stranger without Sounding Desperate

Start a Conversation

You are at the bookstore, and you suddenly glimpse an attractive person near you in the same aisle. You would love to initiate conversation but you don’t want to come off as cheesy, pushy, or desperate. You are not alone. Luckily, there are three very natural tactics to break the ice without sounding cheesy, pushy, or desperate.

Try playing dumb. For example, next time you’re at a coffee shop with your laptop, you can ask anyone near you the innocent question, “Is your internet working? Mine seems really slow…” You may have the fastest internet connection in the world, but that doesn’t matter. Your sole mission is to start the conversation. If you successfully ignite a conversation, in the end, no one will care or remember how it started.

These help questions work well because they are safe and give you permission to pop the bubble that exists between strangers. The other person won’t feel awkward responding to something so innocent (and you won’t feel awkward asking!). Additionally, these questions are easy to answer. The last thing you want to do is force the other person to answer a challenging question.

If they are interested in talking with you, you’ll know. If they respond with a terse, “Mine is fine” and look back down at their laptop, then you can take that as a closed door to conversation. If you receive a warm reception – even if they cannot help you – you have officially popped the bubble and are free to ask follow up questions. You could then follow up with, “Yours is? You’re lucky…maybe it’s just my computer… I really need to buy a new one…do you like your Toshiba?”
You get the idea.

Let’s look at a few more examples. Remember, you may know the answer, but that’s not the point!

At a convention or event: “This food looks good…do you think we can start eating yet?”
Near a festival: “I wonder what’s going on down there?”
Concert or convention: “Do you know when ____ is supposed to start?”
In the city: “Do you know where I can find a Verizon store around here? Mine is giving me issues…”

If you prefer the more subtle route, you can try simple spoken out-loud comments. Next time you sit down in a public environment, trying saying something like, “Wow it’s cold in here…” or “I’m so glad this place has outlets…” Like the help question, these comments will never be remembered; they simply let others know that you are open to conversation. If someone else feels like talking as well, they will respond to your comment with their own comment (e.g. “Yeah, I was thinking that too.” or “Yeah I wonder if they are going to turn up the a/c anytime soon.”).

What if you are not ready to fly solo? Sometimes it helps to find an accomplice for your ice breaking mission.

Go out with your friend, and start an interesting conversation near the stranger. Maybe you’re shopping for a shirt at your favorite retail outlet, and an attractive stranger is nearby. If you have an accomplice with you, then it’s natural to start a conversation about the shirt; talk about how you feel about it, how it looks, how much it costs, etc. It’s far easier to invite someone to join an existing conversation than to start from scratch. If you and your friend are debating whether to buy the tight red shirt versus the tight blue shirt, it’s a fairly easy segue to asking the stranger for their opinion.

Talking to strangers doesn’t have to cause a panic attack if you keep the approach low-key and low risk.

Geoff Peart, M.Ed., is the author of the blog, mysocialupgrade.com, where people can learn how to improve their social skills and their lives. All of the content is free and updated weekly.

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TEDActive Projects: Join the conversation!

In February at TEDActive 2011, the TEDActive Projects were launched. Five teams came together to explore, collaborate and act on five vital issues: education, mobility, sustainability, social networks and travel, sharing ideas about how to create attitude shifts that might produce positive change. Now we’re taking those crowd-sourced solutions up a notch, and asking our TED.com community to join the conversations.

For the next 30 days, rotating after TEDTalks or on the TEDActive Projects site, you can watch mini-documentaries on each project and see how the TEDActive team answered a question around a big issue. If you have an idea, another question, a resource to offer or even an objection, jump into the discussion in the TED Conversation dedicated to each project. Lend your voice, and let’s see how exploration and collaboration might lead to action.

Go to the TEDActive Projects website to watch all the videos here >>

Join TEDActive in a TED Conversation on education >>

Join TEDActive in a TED Conversation on mobility >>

Join TEDActive in a TED Conversation on sustainability >>

Join TEDActive in a TED Conversation on social networks >>

Join TEDActive in a TED Conversation on travel >>

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Join this TED Conversation: How will you take part in JR’s TED Prize wish?

TED curator Chris Anderson asks:

First, if you haven’t seen it yet, watch the amazing TED Prize speech given by French street artist JR. He’s initiating a spectacular global art project that anyone can participate in. But how? This is up to the creative imagination of people around the world.

Join this conversation with Chris and the members of the TED community >>

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