Achieving Your Goals in 2013: Preparing Your Survival Kit

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The Buy-Nothing Holiday Survival Guide

The holidays can be tough — especially when you’ve committed to Buy Nothing Until 2013, and everywhere around you there are sales and ads and everyone else shopping.

How is a lonely soul to survive these trying times?

Not to fear. We have the answers, in this handy little survival guide.

The first step is to breathe, and in doing so, to calm down if your heart is beating faster and your gut has an urge to go to Amazon or Gap and buy something. Breathe, and let the urge dissipate.

Breathing is a way of being mindful, which will help us to notice our urges to buy something before we take action and actually shop.

Remember, in the Buy Nothing Until 2013 challenge, it’s actually OK to buy necessities. A number of Twitter commenters seemed to have missed that bit.

It’s perfectly fine to buy groceries, household supplies, and other necessities. So we’re not literally buying nothing.

Sometimes something might be on the border — new underwear when your old underwear is getting a bit threadbare. Is that a necessity? It’s really your call — there are no judges, no one is policing this challenge.

However, one suggestion: if it’s on the border, see if you can do without it for a little longer. Yes, underwear is a necessity, but you can also wear something a bit longer before buying more.

More on doing without in the next section.

After you’ve breathed, and you’re now considering whether you need to buy something because it seems like a necessity (some new jeans, new underwear, a new chair) … pause and see if you can go another month or so without it.

Often the answer is yes. While we might be in the habit of buying something as soon as we think we need it, in days of yore, people would make something last longer by repairing it, or just make do with something a little broken but still usable, or just make do without. And somehow, they survived!

We can do the same. Make do without buying something new, for another month or so. You’ll survive! If it’s more urgent than that, see one of the strategies below.

One of the more difficult aspects of buying nothing during the holiday season is that many people around you will be buying gifts, and you’ll feel obligated to do so too. There are a few ways to deal with that.

First, what we do (and have for a few years now) is talk to our family and friends, and let them know that we’re not doing gifts this year. While they might think that’s a bit weird at first, it brings up a conversation where you can explain why — getting away from consumerism, saving money and getting out of debt, using fewer resources, and so on. Actually, just refer them to the Buy Nothing Until 2013 article. Most likely, they’ll understand, and some people will join you.

But if you’re worried about being left out when everyone else is exchanging gifts, you can make gifts. You can bake cookies or brownies or pumpkin cake, and wrap them as gifts. If you’re good with woodwork or crafts or sewing, you can make something with your hands. You can do nice things like wash someone’s car or babysit or build a website for them. One year I made a website devoted to my wife as a gift.

Read more: The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents and Kids Who Are Gift-less are Gifted.

Ads are meant to get us to buy things, and they can be very effective. This is one reason I don’t watch cable TV (and haven’t for many years) — the ads are such strong influences on what we buy, and I don’t want my kids influenced by all that.

You can reduce your exposure to drool-inducing ads by unsubscribing from anything that comes into your inbox or Facebook or Twitter feed that advertises anything. If a company sends you a catalog or newsletter that tries to get you to buy something, simply unsubscribe. Your life will be fine without them.

You can stop watching cable TV, or use DVR to skip ads. You can use an ad blocker to skip many ads on websites.

Shopping areas are designed to get you to buy things, and it inevitably works. Don’t go to a shopping mall, or Walmart or Target or whatever your favorite box store is.

Also, don’t go to Amazon. There’s nothing there that you need — at least for the next month. Don’t go to your other favorite websites for shopping. At least until January.

If you decide you absolutely can’t go without, see if you can borrow it instead of buying. Many times, a friend or family member has a drill or a winter coat they’re not using right now, and they won’t mind sparing it.

Is it embarrassing to borrow something? I once thought so, but I’ve changed my mind. I now think it’s a smarter way to use resources — sharing rather than everyone owning their own copies of things they don’t use much. And it’s a good way to get people to interact more, instead of being isolated and insulated. When you go next door to borrow a cup of sugar, you’re talking with your neighbor, which is a rarity for most of us.

If you can’t do without or borrow, you can often find it for free, or trade for it:

Send out an email or put up a Facebook post letting everyone you know that you need a wheelbarrow or shelf, and if they have one they don’t need, you’d love to have it. And you’d be willing to trade something if they need something.Look on Craigslist or Freecycle. Or put a wanted ad on one of those sites.Libraries have free books, CDs, DVDs.There are a number of online sites that help people swap books and other stuff.

This is a last alternative, because basically it’s buying, and it’s best to avoid it. However, if you’ve really exhausted the above options, and you absolutely can’t do without for a month, or borrow, trade or find it free, then buy used.

Try a thrift store in your area. Or find it on Craigslist or Ebay. Or go to a flea market.

Buying used is a great alternative, because it stops something used from being discared, and extends its life, thereby wasting fewer resources. It’s also usually cheaper.

This last strategy is pretty useful in my experience. Let’s say you don’t buy anything for the holidays, and thereby save hundreds or even thousands of dollars. What then? What happens to all that cash? Put it to a good cause, and you’re more likely to stick to the challenge.

For some people, it means digging less of a hole, being less in debt. So your good cause is being debt-free! And that’s exciting, so you’re less likely to buy something if you have that good cause in mind.

For others, it might mean being more financially sound, by saving up an emergency fund. I find the emergency fund to be absolutely critical for financial stability — my life is so much freer of worry now that I’ve built up an emergency fund.

And if you have those two needs covered, consider doing something else good with the money: give it to a good charity or cause, or do something good for your family.

Having a good purpose in mind for the loads of cash you’ll save makes it easier to do without, rather than just buying whenever we feel the urge.

The Buy Nothing Until 2013 challenge can have many effects for people who are used to shopping during the holidays:

You’ll save money and/or get into less debt.You can help a good cause with that money.You’ll help stop your habit of impulse shopping.You’ll get out of the consumerist mindset, and remember what truly matters.You might help others shop less, and get out of the consumerist mindset, through your example.You’ll have more time for doing things that matter, rather than shopping.You’ll have less stress from all the holiday shopping.You’ll find more contentment, because you know that you have everything you need.

It’s changed my life. I’ve realized that buying is not only unnecessary most of the time, it’s destructive. Let’s build something new, based on human connection and compassion.

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Playlist: Stories of survival from the TED2013 Talent Search

Amsterdam, Bangalore, Doha, Johannesburg, London, Nairobi, New York, São Paulo, Seoul, Shanghai, Sydney, Tokyo, Tunis and Vancouver. TED headed to 14 cities on six continents for the 2013 Talent Search, looking to bring you fresh perspectives for TED2013. Despite the fact that the 293 speakers who participated in the search came from wildly different backgrounds, we couldn’t help but notice some themes emerge in their talks. Here, their moving tales of survival.

Vanessa Berlowitz: How to survive filming extreme nature documentaries
TED@London
Producer Vanessa Berlowitz has spent 22 years making wildlife films for the BBC. She’s camped out in a live volcano and traveled frequently to polar regions, where you can throw a cup of boiling water in the air and have it freeze before hitting the ground. She gives tips on making it through both, as well as for avoiding bear attacks.

Rupinder Bains: Living with Crohn’s disease
TED@Vancouver
In 2011, Rupinder Bains was supposed to die. While she started out her hospital stay being concerned about missing spring break, she had soon had 10 surgeries and whittled down to 74 pounds. In this powerful talk, she reveals had a radical surgery led her to remission.

Hyeonseo Lee: Escaping North Korea
TED@Seoul
Hyeonseo Lee calls growing up in North Korea like living “in a virtual prison.” She recalls witnessing her first public execution and beginning to doubt her government, before deciding to leave in 2008. In this talk, she describes the difficult journey to China and eventually to South Korea.

Eleanor Longden: Learning from the voices in my head
TED@London
When Eleanor Longden headed to college, someone joined her—a voice in her head, narrating her life in third person. She explains how she fought the voices, and a system ready to write her off as “crazy,” to get back her sense of self-worth … as well as a Masters in psychology.

Sarath Champati: Eye to eye with wild animals
TED@Bangalore
Ecotourism enthusiast Sarath Champati recalls coming face to a face with a wild tiger, and soon after with a wild Sambar deer. Instead of getting eaten alive, it sparked what Champati calls a “25-year love affair with wild animals.”

Rosie Garthwaite: How to survive in a war zone
TED@Doha
Former British Army officer Rosie Garthwaite saw her future as a journalist and headed to Iraq in 2003. She quickly learned that missteps could get herself and members of her team killed. In this talk, she gives away knowledge she’s learned about staying safe in war zones, as well as tips gleaned from a Somali pirate and a hostage negotiator.

Lee Swan: What I lost on the way to the North Pole
TED@Johannesburg
Chocoholic Lee Swan took part in the Polar Race, becoming the first South African woman to make it to the magnetic North Pole. She explains how she navigated her way through the 650 kilometer race … and won.

Ana Maria Saad: My story of mental illness and awareness
TED@SaoPaulo
A filmmaker, producer and screenwriter, Ana Marie Saad recalls falling into deep depression as a result of being sexually abused. She explains how meditation helped her through, and how she started an NGO to help lessen the stigma of mental disorders.

Richard Turere: My invention that outsmarted lions
TED@Nairobi
Richard Turere, now 13, has been tasked since age 9 with keeping his family’s cattle safe. While he calls lions “my enemy,” he knew that he would never be able to take one on in a hand-to-paw fight. And so he created a brilliant light system that scares the animals away.

Stayed tuned for more playlists from the TED Talent Search, coming at you over the next month.

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A Survival Guide for Beating Information Addiction

Are you suffering from information addiction? It’s a growing problem as people spend more and more of their time online — and while online tools are amazing, being addicted to checking them can steal most of your day.

You know you’re an information addict if you:

Check email, Facebook, news, or some other social network first thing in the morning and last thing at night.Are constantly on your mobile device when you’re away from home/office.Can’t get away from the computer in order to get outside, exercise, or spend time with people while disconnected.Are constantly posting to Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, or texting/emailing, when meeting with other people.Can’t get important work done because you have to check your messages.Feel anxiety if you’re completely disconnected for more than a few minutes.Can’t imagine spending an entire day disconnected.

Now, if none of these seem like a problem for you, even if you do them, then they probably aren’t a problem. But if you see yourself in one or more of these and want to change, this guide is for you.

This survival guide isn’t the ultimate guide to beating an addiction, however — it’s a set of tips and techniques I’ve used to survive the constant pull of the online world.

Don’t know where to start? These first steps can be done today.

1. Assess your habits. What are you addicted to most? When are you most likely to be sucked into your addiction? For the rest of today, and the next several days, keep a handy little piece of paper and a pen/pencil with you, and write down the things you check often, putting a tally mark next to those things each time you check them. A TV news channel? Facebook or Twitter or G+? Pinterest or Reddit? Keep a tally so you know what you’re dealing with.

2. Introduce the pause. Addictions are something we often do automatically, without thinking. Start to break this chain of trigger-habit auto-response by wedging a small pause in between them. When you get the urge to check something you’re addicted to, notice this urge, and pause for just one second. During this pause, simply ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this, and why?” You can then go on to do it, no matter what the answer, but the important thing is having at least the briefest pause.

3. Take a break every hour. Even if you’re stuck on the sites you’re addicted to all day long, take 1o minute breaks once an hour. Set up an hourly reminder on your computer, and when that reminder pops up, get away from the computer. Take a walk for 10 minutes. Stretch. Do some pushups and squats. Clean your messy house. Write in a notebook, or sketch. Talk to someone in person. Drink some water and have a fruit. Meditate. When you come back to the computer, try closing the browser for a few minutes and doing some non-Internet work before going back online.

Over the long term, you can change your habits. This will take a month or two, so you’ll want to fully commit to a change. Any change done half-assed won’t last.

1. Start with your biggest trigger. Assuming you’ve done the assessment and introduced the pause as recommended above, you should know your most common triggers — the things that cause you to go check something. That might be things like: starting a work task (and wanting to avoid it), getting on a bus/train, waking up, eating, getting a notification on your phone or computer, being bored or stressed, thinking of something you want to look up. Whatever your triggers are, pick the one that happens most. If there are several, just pick one of those randomly.

2. Pick a replacement habit. What do you want to do instead of checking email, Facebook, Twitter or the like? Pick something positive and fun that you can do in 5 minutes every time your most common trigger happens. That might be: reading a few pages of a novel, journaling, doing pushups, taking a walk, drinking water, meditating, writing, painting, practicing a language, writing a letter with paper and pen, etc. You’re going to try to do this every time the habit happens, instead of the actual habit.

3. Do the new habit after the trigger, every time. Don’t allow any exceptions, or you won’t form the habit. A new habit is formed much faster, and more strongly, if you do it extremely consistently after the trigger. If you’re inconsistent, and still do the old habit, you are allowing the old habit to stay in place. Now, just because you miss once or twice doesn’t mean you should give up — just start again and try to be more consistent, figure out why you failed, and plan to beat that obstacle. But set a rule that you’ll allow no exceptions!

4. Use positive public pressure. Having accountability helps. Blogging about your new change, or posting it on Facebook or Twitter (I know, a bit ironic), can help you feel some public accountability. Tell everyone you know that you’re not going to check Facebook (for example) within 15 minutes of starting an important work task. My friend Michael Ellsberg uses negative consequences (something I’ve done in the past as well): if he eats sugar or refined carbs, he has to make a donation to Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign (not a good thing for Michael, who is not a Romney supporter). Leverage the power of social media to beat social media.

In the long run, it’s good to have an idea of what life would be like if you’re not controlled by an information addiction.

How will you work? What will you be like if you’re not checking things all day? Some things to consider:

The goal isn’t to eliminate all information sources and be shut off from the online world. It’s not to throw out your iPhone or laptop. These tools are incredibly useful and powerful — obviously I make my living using them, and they have changed our lives in so many positive ways. The idea is simply not to be controlled by them, and to have a balanced life that includes other activities.Schedule time for non-Internet and non-media activities. That means actually block them off on your schedule. If you want to exercise, block off some time during the week for exercise (even just 30 minutes 3 times a week). Schedule time to spend with your friend and loved ones. Schedule time for a walk in solitude.Work without distractions. Each morning, figure out the 1-3 important things you’re going to get done that day. Do the first one first, before diving into email and online distractions. Shut down your browser if you can. If necessary, do the work somewhere without Internet, or unplug your router and give the router cord to someone to hold for an hour. Turn off all notifications on your computer and mobile device. Close everything but what you need to do your task. Learn to focus.Schedule a limited time for your information sources. How often do you want to check email and Facebook (or other sites)? Pick a time and schedule for using these tools in your life, and set a limit — twice a day for just 15 minutes a session, for example. This limit allows you to use these tools but also have time for other things, and it forces you to decide what’s important within that limit and to use the limited time efficiently.Choose your sources wisely. Cull your information sources and tools to the most important. Sometimes we use things just because everyone else is, but they might not be really adding much to our lives. For example, I deleted my Facebook account last year, and haven’t missed it. My life goes on! You might decide to delete your Instagram or Pinterest account, to save yourself from endless browsing of things that aren’t really important, for example. You might decide to only read 10 really good blogs instead of 50 ones that take up your attention. Your attention matters — you should only give it to the things that make your life better.Get some sleep. A lack of rest makes us less able to focus, and more likely to deviate from a plan of any kind of self-control. It also makes us more likely to be distracted by the Internet, according to a new study. Make rest a priority.

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