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Showing posts with label problem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label problem. Show all posts
Monday, May 13, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
The Other Person is Never the Problem
In countless little ways each day, we blame other people for our frustrations.
They irritate us, don’t do things the right way, are incompetent, rude, inconsiderate, bad drivers, too slow, not tidy, boring, uncaring.
And yet, we will always be frustrated if we stick to this mindset.
We will always be angry, offended, hurt, disappointed. There will be no end to the offenses humanity can take against us, as long as we decide that everyone else is wrong, all the time.
They’re not the problem.
The other person is never the problem.
This is a lesson I learned from Charlotte Joko Beck in her book, Everyday Zen. The problem is our reaction. The external event (someone is rude to you) will always happen, every day, often multiple times a day. We cannot stop others from being rude — but we can change how we react.
If we can react in a calmer, more peaceful manner, we will be happier. We will then act in a more compassionate way, smile, and perhaps the other person will be transformed just a little bit by this act of compassion.
Here’s a short guide to reacting peacefully:
When you notice yourself getting offended, frustrated, angry, irritated, disappointed … pause. Take a breath.Don’t act. Acting in anger is harmful.Examine the idea you have about how they should act. You are holding onto this idea, and it is in conflict with reality. As long as you hold onto fantasies that aren’t in line with reality, you will be frustrated. Try changing all of reality to match your expectations — let me know when you finally succeed.Toss your expectation into the ocean.Smile. Accept the person in front of you, and yourself, as a flawed human.Act with compassion. When you stop blaming the person for not acting perfectly, you can then respond appropriately, and with compassion. Accepting reality doesn’t mean you don’t take action — it just means you let go of the frustration. Instead, you can act appropriately, and be more centered in your actions.Question: What if people you rely on are careless or irresponsible? Aren’t they the problem, then? Yes, the other person is careless or irresponsible. And this is reality — it will always be this way. You can’t change that, and so the question is, how will you deal with it? You can rage and get mad at them, or you can let go of expectations, breathe, and act appropriately within this reality.?
Toss your expectations into the ocean, smile, and act with compassion. The other person, rude bugger that he is, will never see it coming.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
7 Simple Steps to Resolve Any Problem
Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.
~ Henry Ford
Problems are not the reason why a person lives a difficult and miserable life; most of the time, it’s a matter of perspective. Because often, majority of people let problems defeat them through feelings of anger, fear and anxiety. These negative feelings paralyze a person to move forward and take a step in resolving the problem.
On the other hand, perspective is also the reason why there are people who succeed despite struggles and difficulties in life. It’s because those who succeed knows how to resolve or manage problems when it arises. They don’t let the negative emotion of anger, doubt, fear or anxiety interfere their ability to think of the solutions and take the next step.
If you get easily paralyzed and depressed by the problems in your life, take time to read and follow these seven steps in resolving problem. It can help you rise above the difficulties, move on positively and eventually achieve success in life.
Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. ~ Denis Waitley
The first step to rising and resolving the problems of your life is to identify what your problems are. Because when you know what your problems are, only then can you be ready to face and resolve it.
Stop feeling angry, scared and anxious even for just a few minutes. Take time to reflect and start writing down what makes your life difficult. Identify one by one all the problems that’s bothering and paralyzing you to enjoy life.
After you’ve identified all the problems that are keeping you from being happy in your life, the next step is for you to be strong and approach your problems.
Oftentimes, we tend to avoid problems because of the discomfort and awkwardness it feels. However, avoiding doesn’t solve your problems; it will only prolong or increases the damage and difficulty when left unsolved. Be strong in facing and resolving your problems.
Once you had the courage to face your problems, you are now ready to decide on the solution or the next action step.
Remember, anger, worry or misery doesn’t change anything; it will only leave you with ill feelings. The circumstance will only change when you start to decide on the solution.
Once the problem is resolved, move on and let it go. Stop thinking about your problem over and over again. It will do nothing but gives you anxiety and stress.
You may be surprised but the truth is problems are actually good for you because it is a way for you to learn a lesson. However, if the lesson isn’t learned, there’s a huge possibility that the problem will occur again in the future.
In every problem that arises in your life, strive to learn the lesson and carry them as you move forward in life. Remember, it’s better to carry the lessons learned rather than the grudges.
It is false to believe that problems are bad karma as a consequence of your past wrong doings. Remember, problem happens even to the most saintly people on earth. Never let problems become a measurement of your value as a person. You never lose your value because of problems.
The best way to become prepared and ready with problems is to accept that it is part of life. Accept problems as part of the imperfections that makes life more meaningful and worth living for. As they say, if there’s no pain, there’s no glory. The same is true that if there’s no problems and difficulty, there will be no happiness and bliss.
Lou is a professional accountant, personal development coach, public speaker and entrepreneur. She writes and coach on positive attitude, productivity, stress management, success, personal finance and balanced life. Find out more about her works at Live Life to Fullest
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Audio problem with the TED app for iPad? Here’s what the problem is …
We’ve received a lot of reports today from iPad users saying they have no audio when watching talks from the TED iPad app. In most cases, not only are talks silent, but there’s no volume slider showing in the full-screen controls.
If you’re seeing this, it’s very likely that your iPad is muted.
Depending on how you’ve configured your iPad, there are different ways to turn mute on and off. The first is the hardware switch on the right side of your iPad, directly above the volume buttons. If the switch is down, you should see an orange dot above the switch, which could mean the device is muted. You can confirm this by flipping the switch back up. If it’s configured to control sound, you’ll see the speaker symbol appear on your screen.
The hardware switch might be configured to control the orientation lock, however. In this case, you control mute in the multitasking tray. You can show the multitasking tray by double-clicking the home button on your iPad. Swipe to the right until you see the volume controls. If you see a speaker icon with a line through it, your iPad is muted. As you can see in the screenshots below, when the device is muted, the volume control disappears from view. By turning mute off, you’ll restore audio on your iPad, and the volume control should reappear.
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