The Ultimate Rice Bowl

More than 5 years in the making… the long awaited sequel to How to Cook Brown Rice is finally here!

The Ultimate Rice Bowl is my own special recipe for a delicious vegan/vegetarian meal. It’s the perfect blend of warm, chewy, crunchy, and savory. It’s also very easy to make — no special cooking skill required.

This recipe is for a single serving of a very filling meal. If you want to make a smaller or bigger batch, feel free to adjust the ingredients proportionally.

Here’s how to make it…

Ingredients

1-2 cups cooked brown rice, depending on how hungry you are (make according to instructions in How to Cook Brown Rice)1/3 cup diced cucumber (I prefer English cucumbers)1 small tomato, diced (I normally use a roma tomato)4-5 sun dried tomatoes, each cut into 6-8 pieces (The best are Mediterranean Organic Sundried Tomatoes)1/4 – 1/2 avocado, diced2-4 tbsp minced green onion1-2 tsp toasted sesame oil (I use Spectrum Naturals Organic Sesame Oil)tamari to taste (a few splashes with a shaker bottle)1 tbsp sesame seeds (raw or toasted)

Instructions

Put the rice in a bowl.Add sesame oil, tamari, and sesame seeds. Use a fork to mix.Add cucumber, tomato, sun dried tomatoes, avocado, and green onion. Mix again.Enjoy!

Variations

Add 1 tsp mirin for a sweeter flavor (when you add the sesame oil, tamari, and sesame seeds)Add 1/3 cup bok choy, choppedSubstitute regular soy sauce or shoyu for tamariIf you like a strong onion flavor, try using minced white, brown, or red onion instead of green onion

You can certainly make this with leftover rice, but I suggest heating the rice first since this dish is best served warm.

I must caution you that this can be an addictive recipe. Once you try it, expect to make it often!

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3 Ways to Use Windows on Your Mac

One of the biggest reasons that Windows users have a hard time making the switch to a Mac is that they have obtained years and years of Windows software. Of course there is no real way to run Windows apps natively on the Mac operating system. But, instead of not becoming a Mac convert or starting your application collection from scratch, you can use these 3 ways to use Windows on your Mac.

One of the fastest ways to get Windows running on a Mac, especially if you already have an installation of Windows (XP, Vista, or 7 Pro or higher) is to use the free Microsoft Remote Desktop Connection application that is available for your Mac. You will need to do some initial configuration, like making sure that your Windows PC is accessible through a firewall and allows for remote desktop connections.

To allow remote desktop connection on Windows do the following:

Click Start and then right-click My Computer.Click Properties.Click the Remote tab, and then click to select “Allow users to connect remotely to this computer”.Confirm the change.Click the start button and in the search box type “Control panel” and hit Enter.Double click the System icon.Under Tasks to the left click Remote settings.One the System properties dialogue under the Remote Desktop heading, choose Allow connections from computers running any version of remote desktopClick apply.

If you are on a local area network with the Windows computer that you just allowed to be remotely accessed, all you need is the computer’s IP and that it be turned on to access it from the Remote Desktop Connection application from Microsoft. Simply enter your IP, click connect, and you are good to go.

If you don’t want to remotely access your PC, keep Windows with you on your Mac, and have the ability to use your Windows apps next to your Mac apps, then virtualizing Windows inside of OS X is the way to go. There are a handful of great virtualization suites out there including Parallels Desktop ($79.99) and VMware Fusion ($49.99). But, if you want virtualization done for free, you may want to look into VirtualBox that was originally created by Sun and is now owned by Oracle.

Virtualization is a great way to use Windows on your Mac but can be a little bit of a bear to setup, especially if you aren’t familiar with virtualization at all. The process basically includes installing the virtualization software, creating a new virtual machine, and then installing Windows on the new virtual machine. The creation of the virtual machine (especially with Parallels and VirtualBox) is pretty straightforward. Where you can run into issues with the virtual machine is when you are trying to virtualize certain hardware components and setups, but for most users, they will never have to touch these options.

Another thing about virtualization is that you will need a valid license and installation media for the version of Windows you want to install.

Probably the hardest part of virtualizing Windows on a Mac is installing Windows on the virtual machine. If you have installed Windows before with succes, then this won’t be an issue, but for those that have never installed Windows, it could pose a problem.

Luckily there are some great tutorials for installing Windows from the Microsoft Support Site. Also, since Windows Vista, the installation process has become much easier.

While virtualization is a great way to use your Windows apps alongside your Mac apps, some power users may want the full power of their Mac hardware to run Windows. For this type of user I suggest using Apple’s Boot Camp to install Windows on a totally separate partition on your Mac. This gives you the ability to boot into either OS X or Windows when you turn your compter on.

The benefits of using this type of setup is that you get to use the power of your Mac to run Windows, rather than using a less powerful virtual machine because it doesn’t have to share resources with the “host” operating system. Also, using Windows 7 natively on a Mac is pretty great and can prove to be a better user experience than most of the high-end PCs that are available.

The installation guides for Boot Camp can be found here on Apple’s support site. Just choose the installation guide that is applicable to your Mac to make it happen. Once again, you will have to know how to install Windows natively and have a valid Windows license and installation media to get this to work.

Now that you have the ability to use Windows on your Mac you can use pretty much all the software in the world. Pretty awesome, huh? You can now turn into a cross-platform, Windows on Mac warrior.

CM Smith is a technologist, writer, and husband. He holds a degree in MIS and CMPSC from Penn State. CM is also interested in personal productivity, creativity and how to use technology to get things done. Check out his writing at devburner.net or follow him on Twitter.

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Ask the Entrepreneurs: 14 Ways to Conquer Your Company’s Overflowing Inbox

Ask The Entrepreneurs is a regular series where members of those involved in the Young Entrepreneur Council are asked a single question that aims to help Lifehack readers level up their own lives, whether in a area of management, communication, business or life in general.

Here’s the question posed in this edition of Ask The Entrepreneurs:

1. Keep Customers Separate

Aggregate all of your customer-related requests into one software system such as ZenDesk or FuseDesk. Keeping all of this information in one place allows the owner to get a bird’s eye view of all requests and answers, as well as keeping a large category of emails out of individual inboxes.

-Kelly Azevedo, She’s Got Systems

2. Just Pick Up the Phone!

When email conversions and discussions between team members start flying back and forth on the same topic, usually the best thing to do is to switch the medium to phone. It’s infinitely faster than having a lengthy debate over email, which can often evolve into a thread of 20, 30 or 40 messages.

-Matt Mickiewicz, 99designs

3. Allowing Instant Messages

No more lengthy emails that never get to the point. Instead, my team makes sure we’re always available via IM so we can have conversations about what’s on our mind and get instant feedback. We’ve found this to be more efficient than letting emails sit in our inbox for hours or days — or get lost forever.

-Danny Wong, Blank Label Group, Inc.

4. Let Someone In

You need to figure out what emails that YOU must respond to, versus emails that must be responded to. Who can you delegate other emails to? Create a new email address or have them login to your email to answer some. Also, do these emails even need to come in, or can you create an FAQ on your site?

-Louis Lautman, Young Entrepreneur Society

5. Spontaneous Video Chats

Instead of allowing threads of never-ending emails, encourage the use of Skype to chat and call team members whenever needed. Email can get out of hand sometimes so it’s important to resort to direct communication to get things done.

-Ben Lang, EpicLaunch

6. Now, Not Later

I have found that when I let my emails pile up, not only does it take me more time to go through them later on, but it also psychologically creates a mental block when I see more than I can handle at one time. And instead of working through them, I just continue to leave them unread and unopened. I highly recommend keeping on top of them at all times, responding and marking down what I need to do.

-Steven Le Vine, grapevine pr

7. Start Batching

I learned this trick while reading “The 4-Hour Workweek” a few years ago. Try to only answer emails two to three times per day– for me, it’s 9 a.m., 2 p.m. and 9 p.m. This makes me more productive in other parts of the day because I am not being constantly interrupted by incoming messages.

-Lawrence Watkins, Great Black Speakers

8. Scrape the Important Stuff

Move your actionable items and important data off of email and in it’s own place. Utilize a business class email that will allow you to easily add contacts, create reminders, set appointments, and store documents while also being able to easily share those items with the rest of your team.

-Jennifer Donogh, Young Female Entrepreneurs

9. Labels, Filters, Stars

If you’re using Gmail, make the most of the various organizational tools at your disposal to help tame your inbox. Filters automatically routes emails and sorts your inbox before you even open it. Labels are a good for grouping together similar messages and making them easy to find later. Stars help make your inbox actionable by highlighting urgent messages and setting priorities.

-Arjun Arora, ReTargeter

10. Throw the Boomerang

Stop using your inbox as a ToDo list and a WaitingOn list. The awesome Gmail plugin called Boomerang allows you to send emails, with reminders for that email to boomerang back after a set period if it goes unanswered. A priceless productivity tool for letting go.

-Michael Margolis, Get Storied

11. Keep Clients at the ‘Camp’

We route all client emails via Basecamp, which allows the right person on the team to reply and run with it. It also keeps everything organized per project, so we don’t have to scratch our head wondering where that piece of communication was.

-Nathalie Lussier, Nathalie Lussier Media

12. Minimize the Overload

We’re not fans of having long email chains, especially internally — we use intranets, chat rooms (with recorded history) and deliberately short face-to-face meetings to circumvent long email exchanges. But there’s only so much you can do to minimize email with outside parties, so we use customer service forums to avoid repetitive email inquiries.

-Derek Shanahan, Foodtree

13. Don’t Forget to FollowUp.cc

Without question, Followup.cc is the best way to take control of your inbox. With Followup.cc, you can send messages away to return at a pre-specified time. This has enabled me to send myself reminders, and also remind myself to ping people after an appropriate window of time. Most significantly, it takes all not-so-urgent email out of my inbox so I can focus on what’s most important.

-Garrett Neiman, CollegeSpring

14. Break the Chain!

Email is part of your business culture! Encourage picking up the phone, talking in person, texting and IM-ing. By spending less time writing and sending emails, you will help other people to spend less time reading them, and if everyone uses emails that wisely in your organization, you’ll have less emails and more real communication.

-Devesh Dwivedi, Breaking The 9 To 5 Jail

(Featured photo credit: Overflowing Inbox via Shutterstock)

The Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC) is an invite-only nonprofit organization comprised of the world's most promising young entrepreneurs. The YEC promotes entrepreneurship as a solution to unemployment and underemployment and provides entrepreneurs with access to tools, mentorship, and resources that support each stage of their business’s development and growth. The YEC recently published #FixYoungAmerica: How to Rebuild Our Economy and Put Young Americans Back to Work (for Good), a book of 30+ proven solutions to help end youth unemployment.

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Lifehack Deals: Efficient, Effective and Fun Finance App Toshl Finance Pro

Are you having trouble managing your finances?

Toshl Finance Pro is your solution — and Lifehack Deals is bringing it to our readers for a limited time at only $10 for a 1-year license.

This simple and intuitive web-based application (and mobile app) is a personal financial assistant that, believe it or not makes finance fun. It helps you note down your expenses and income, and plans your finances with detailed budgets so you can be on-top of every penny.

Moreover, you’ll be able to download the mobile app which will make it a breeze when it comes to keeping track of all of your expenses. Your app will sync with your web-based software so it’ll be updated with all of your devices.

With Toshl by your side you’ll reach that peace of mind that comes with knowing where your money is going. And the mobile app makes it a breeze when it comes to keeping track of all of your expenses. Your app will sync with your web-based software, so it’ll be updated across all of your devices.

See how Toshl Pro looks on the web in this live demo!

Here are just some of the features that Toshl Finance Pro offers:

Toshl Finance Pro allows for quick and easy entering of your income and expenses. You can use multiple custom tags, and repeating expenses and repeating income.

With Budgets, Toshl Finance Pro makes it easy to save money Users can do the following to keep an eye on their budget:

Compare the rate of your spending with the time of the monthSave money just on the items you don’t want to be spending onBudgets for all expenses, just for specific tags or all expenses except for specific tagsOne-time budgets, daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, yearlyMove remaining funds to the next budgetLearn from your budget history

Having the ability to use foreign currencies in a financial is incredibly handy for those who spend a lot of time on the go in faraway lands. Toshl Finance Pro lets you enter expenses in any currency, get daily exchange rates for more than 30 currencies, and set a custom exchange rate.

Plan your expenses in advanceSet up repeating expenses and get a feel for next month’s fixed costsStart your financial month on any dayBrowse through any time periodManage your finances on the big screenYour data is automatically backed up and savedPrivate and secureVisualize your finances with infographicsSync with multiple phones

Toshl Apps are as versatile as they are fun and simple to use. You can use them on the following mobile platforms:

iPhoneAndroidNokia Symbian 3Windows PhoneBlackBerryMeeGo

So if you want to get your finances under control in a simple and fun way – then pick up this Lifehack Deals offer while it lasts! You’ll save 50% off the regular price for a one-year license – and you’ll save a whole lot more when you start using Toshl Finance Pro. Get it today!

Mike Vardy is the Managing Editor at Lifehack. An independent writer, speaker, podcaster and "productivityist", you can read more of his writing at Vardy.me. He is @mikevardy on Twitter.

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How to Make a Difference as a Time Management Coach

Many managers and coaches feel an immediate burden when they review an employee or client’s performance and think to themselves, “They need some better time management skills.” As they review their limited options, they quickly conclude that none of them fits their needs and none of them are likely to work. The fact is, in order to make a lasting difference, they need to go beyond the options that currently exist and create a much larger context for the employee to succeed.

Let’s start by looking at the options that you have as a time management coach.

This approach is the simplest. Just observe the employee closely, and when you can find a pearl of wisdom that applies to an observed shortcoming, toss it their way. For example, “Hey Andrea, ever hear of a To-Do list?” Some look for websites like Lifehack with lots of relevant tips and forward posts in the hope that the employee/client will be able to go ahead and “just do it.”

This rarely works because the skill of “time management” is a complex one that’s made up of a number of intricate habits, practices and rituals assembled over several years. It isn’t the kind of skill that’s improved much by shortcuts, tips and tricks; there are no miraculous, instantaneous results. Instead, successful improvements come from shifting ingrained patterns of behavior in a systematic way over time. It helps to know this before you attempt the first coaching session.

A better option than “tossing tips” is to buy them a good time management book. At the moment however, all the well-known authors say essentially the same thing:

“Follow the methods in this book exactly as I have laid them out and you’ll be successful.”

The problem is that very few professionals are actually able to achieve this goal. If you compare notes with others who have read the same time management book, you quickly realize that you both have cherry-picked ideas from here and there, to the point where your individual systems may bear little resemblance to each other. This is actually a good thing, but it means that when you buy your employee your favorite productivity book, don’t expect him/her to end up doing things the way you do.

This is due, in part, to human nature. There can never be any one-size-fits-all approach to anything but the most simple of habit patterns. When it comes to complex patterns, we are just too different from each other in too many ways to use a single approach effectively. Instead, we all need custom methods that suit our individual goals and idiosyncrasies.

Furthermore, when you consider the impact of new technology, it’s hard to imagine how an author could claim to have stumbled upon the ultimate solution.

Dezhi Wu’s research also shows that we have different needs at different points in our careers. In her book, “Temporal Structures in Individual Time Management”, she has found that college students manage their time better than their professors and administrators. One reason might be that they are forced to deal with more information and therefore develop fresh systems that are able to cope with more inputs. Unfortunately, her research implies that once today’s students become tomorrow’s professors and administrators, they too will be surpassed in time management skill by their students – probably because they, like the rest of us, rest on their laurels and stop coming up with fresh new methods to deal with technology shifts and life changes.

In short, don’t expect your employee or client to use the book the way you did.

In my first year of employment at AT&T, some of my colleagues attended a time management program based on a popular daily planner. They all came away with shiny new 3-ring binders with custom refills and I remember what one attendee told me:

“The binder was the best part. All the other stuff they tried to teach us was nonsense.”

Most programs take the same one-size-fits-all approach that books take, which is a drawback, but the benefit comes when participants learn the truth from each other – they aren’t going to be doing “all this stuff” anytime soon. While this may run contrary to the expectations of the time management coach, participants take comfort in confirming their suspicion that each person plans to do their own thing. It reinforces the fact that what professionals need is not another prescription to be blindly followed, but skilled training in how to put together their own custom system.

What’s annoying is that the time management coaches seem oblivious to this fact. They might mention that “no-one actually uses all this stuff”, but they give little help in assisting trainees in learning the more challenging skill of self-designing a custom system. They are on their own.

They also ignore the most recent research on habit change, which regular readers of Stepcase Lifehack will recognize readily. Changing habits, practices and rituals is often slow, painstaking work that requires setting up a savvy set of supports. The best approach is to take small steps, focusing on a few at a time.

In the program, what’s inevitable is that your employee will be handed a slew of great ideas to implement…all at once, with no hint of the fact that they need a support system.

The lack of help in focusing on a few habits within a good support system dooms most participants to failure, It’s no accident that many graduates of these programs revert to their old, familiar practices after only a few days.

As a manager, you can make up for these shortcomings. Knowing that they exist is a big plus and they can be introduced into conversations quite early in the game with a time management coach. Understanding the bigger picture frees you both to narrow your focus down to a handful of habits or practices to work on. You should also show clients or employees how to upgrade whenever the need arises and teach them to expect this to happen several times in their careers.

Fortunately, recent research shows that your unique relationship with your trainee is often the best form of support and you can leverage this fact to hold the employee or client accountable for taking the small steps that can eventually add up to a huge improvement.

Employees and clients who are armed with these insights are then free to find ideas from the Internet, books and programs in order to discover the latest improvement opportunities. Instead of struggling, they can take charge of driving their own improvements, using you as their guide.

(Photo credit: Silver Whistle Next to Play via Shutterstock)

I'm an advocate of Time Management 2.0 - the idea that all professionals need unique methods to be personally productive, and need to keep upgrading them throughout our professional careers. My focus for 2012 is on helping coaches, managers and professional organizers to improve the productivity of others.

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Crazy Talk: The Do-What-You-Love Guide

‘Everything you can imagine is real.’ ~Pablo Picasso

When I wrote the first words of this blog, more than five years ago, I had no idea those few keystrokes would change my life.

I thought I was doing nothing more than reflecting on the changes that had been happening in my life, sharing a bit about what I learned with a handful of friends. I thought those tinkling of computer keys would fade into the void, as most of my thoughts had before that.

I didn’t imagine that a year later, I would have 26,000 people reading my blog (and eventually a quarter million subscribers), that I’d finally be out of debt, that I’d have my first book publishing contract, that I’d happily hand in my resignation for my day job. All of that was out of the realm of possibility.

That’s the amazing realization here: that we rule out the possibility of great change, because it doesn’t seem realistic. For nearly two decades I focused on going to college, and working at a day job that I sometimes enjoyed but often dreaded, because that’s what we expect should happen. Starting my own business, pursuing my dreams, doing something I loved? Crazy talk.

Crazy talk is what I’m going to give you today, in hopes that perhaps one of you will expand your possibilities. It is possible — I did it, all while working a full-time job, doing free-lance writing on the side, and having a wife and six kids. I did it, even if I never dared to dream it for the first three decades of my life.

I am not someone who likes to give career advice, or teach people to be online entrepreneurs. So I’m not going to do that here. I’ll just tell you this: it’s possible. Yes, it absolutely is possible.

And I’ll share what I’ve learned, in small snippets of goodness, about doing what you love.

If you don’t think it’s possible, do a small easy test. Don’t think you can start a blog? Sign up for a free WordPress.com or Blogger.com account and do a short post. Don’t tell anyone about it. Just write a post. It costs nothing, risks nothing, takes almost no time. But you will learn you can do that one little thing, and if you pass that test, you now know your theory of impossibility was wrong. You can do this with any skill, btw, not just blogging.Expand your tests. If you pass the first test, do another small one. Then another. Keep going and notice your confidence grow. Your skills grow along with the confidence. It’s amazingly simple. Iterate and re-iterate as long as you are having fun.If you don’t know what you love, don’t worry. There’s no need to figure that out right away. Try something that someone else is doing, and see if you think it’s fun. The real fun part, btw, comes when you start to get good at it, so perhaps stick with it for awhile and enjoy the learning, then enjoy being good at it. If that first try doesn’t work, try something else. You don’t have to commit to one thing for your entire life. You can do a dozen a year if you want, for a decade. You’ll probably find something by then.Find inspiration. Who else is doing what you love doing? Who is excited about it most? Follow them. Learn about them. See what path they took. Watch closely how they execute, what they do right. Learn from the best.Reach out to a mentor. Of the people who inspire you the most, try to make contact with a few of them. If they never respond, try a few more. See if you can buy them lunch or coffee. Don’t pitch them on anything. Just ask for their help, and say you’d love for them to mentor you in a way that won’t take up much of their time. Don’t demand a lot of time, but go to them when you’re having trouble making big decisions.Choose one passion at random. Some people have many interests and don’t know where to start. Pick one or two randomly if they’re all about equal, and just get started. Don’t let choice paralyze you. Get started, because in the end it won’t matter if you started with the wrong passion — you’ll learn something valuable no matter what. Read more.Get good at it. You get good at something with practice. Allow your friends and family to be your first audience, readers, customers. Then take on a few others at a low cost, or increase your audience slowly. But always have an audience or customers if possible — you’ll get good much faster this way, with feedback and accountability. Read about it. Watch videos. Take a class. Join a group of others learning. Find people to partner with. Before long, you’ll be good at it.Help others. One of the best ways to get good at something is to help others learn. Making someone’s life better with your new skill is also an amazing way to get satisfaction out of what you do, to love what you do. Help as many people as you can in any way possible — it will pay off.Find your voice. Eventually, as you master your skill, you will learn that you are different than the thousands of others doing it. You will find your uniqueness. It’s not necessarily there at first, because you might not have the technical skills to express yourself. But eventually, find that voice. Find the thing that sets you apart, that helps you to stand out from the crowd. Then emphasize that. Read more.How can you be valuable? What can you do that is valuable to others? Sometimes it’s doing something that they really need. Sometimes it’s doing it better than others. Sometimes it’s saving people time, or money. Other times it’s just making their lives better, brighter, pleasanter in some way.Become an expert. If you get good at something, and help others, and find a voice, and become valuable — you’ll become an expert at what you do. Others will turn to you for advice. Help them. Read more.Sell your own stuff. I’ve found that the best way to make a revenue, by far, is by selling your own stuff. I’ve tried ads and affiliate links, and while I have nothing against those things, the thing that works best for me is selling my own stuff. I’ve already proven to my audience that I’m valuable and honest and trustworthy, and so they are much more likely to want something that I’ve created than something I recommend made by others. So create something valuable that will help others, and sell it.Don’t be a jerk. Too many people online are so worried about maximizing subscriber numbers or pageviews that they do things that are disrespectful to their readers. Asking me to click “Next Page” five times to read your article? Jerk move. Having a pop-up asking me to subscribe before I’ve even read the article I came to read? Jerk move. Screaming at me to “Like” your page on Facebook, when I could decide that on my own without being asked if the article was really good? Jerk move. Learn to feel what is respectful, and what’s a jerk move.Don’t let numbers rule you. Numbers are arbitrary and basically worthless. How many readers do you have? No one really knows, and in the end the number of readers doesn’t matter as much as things like: how much do they care about your articles, how much have you helped them, how much do they trust you, how excited are they? Pageviews don’t matter, neither do Facebook fans or Twitter followers or the number of people on your mailing list. Instead of worrying about numbers, pour yourself into your work, make yourself incredibly valuable, help people as much as possible, love what you do. The numbers will come as a side effect.It’s the doing and loving that matters. Many people focus on growing, or hitting goals, or making money, but they forget what matters. What matters most is loving what you do. If you love it, and you’re doing it, you’ve already succeeded. Don’t worry so much about achieving certain levels of success — people push themselves so hard to reach those things that they forget to enjoy what they’re doing, and in the process they lose the reason they’re doing it in the first place.Dream bigger. Once you’ve overcome the initial fear and started to become good at something you love, dream bigger. The first stage is small steps, but don’t stop there. You can change lives. You can change the world. Doing so will change you.

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Learn to Love Annoying People

Unfriendly people.

Bad drivers.

Incompetent customer service reps.

These are a few of my least favorite things. In fact, they’re downright annoying.

Now, I’m normally known for my overly optimistic attitude and flashy smile. Hell, I write about happiness for a living. But encounters with irritating people are enough to turn this peppy rebel into a defensive, rage-filed driver who expects all call center responders are out to get me. It’s awkward and uncomfortable.

But you get annoyed with other people, too.

(Yeah…I caught ya.)

Remember that airline worker who wouldn’t put you on the flight you desired? Or the Wendy’s employee who always puts pickles on your sandwich even though you specifically asked them not to? I saw you pounding your steering wheel in a fit of rage as you tailgated that 90-year-old World War II veteran who was driving 10mph under the speed limit.

Or wait, was that me?

Either way, it’s pretty clear that other people have a way of getting under our skin.

So we huff and we puff. We bitch and we moan. We yell at people for not doing what we expect them to do. Because you know that you’re right and that they’re wrong. You refuse to back down.

But here’s the catch, darlin’…

All of that huffing and puffing? It’s not going to blow down their incompetently built house. Getting frustrated is not helping your case. It’s actually killing you.

And it makes you look fat.

Unfortunately, you cannot and will never be able to control the people around you.

(I’ll give you a second to mourn the death of that idea.)

Now…I do have some splendid news. There is one thing that you can always control: Your reaction to the situation.

I bet that if you take the following advice, you may even find yourself empathizing with that evil airline employee whose life mission, it seemed, was to trap you in Fargo, North Dakota for the rest of your life.

So, the next time that you come across an annoying person, sit down, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of the following:

Everyone has pain.Everyone has fear.Everyone has a dream.

All anyone is ever trying to do is avoid the first two and accomplish the third.

And if…

…you consider other people’s hopes and dreams instead of stewing in angry frustration over something that they did, then you will undoubtedly want to help them.

…you remember that everyone experiences pain, stress, and anxiety, then you might just feel less lonely and more connected.

…you imagine what scares a person the most, then you will surely feel humbled.

…you read these 9 tips for dealing with difficult people, then you will feel armed and protected. (Number six is my favorite).

Instead of adding fuel to the fire, let’s try to make the world a better place, shall we?

Here are 9 super-simple things that you can do to brighten someone else’s day. Who knows? It might even brighten your own.

Pay for someone’s coffee (c’mon, it’s a dollar).Leave your server an 80% tip.Tell someone that you are proud of their work.Hold the door open.Write an inspiring message on a piece of scrap paper and leave it on a table in a coffee shop or on someone’s windshield.Tell someone that they can go in front of you in line.Bake cookies for your neighbor.Send a birthday card to an old friend.Drop a dollar bill on the sidewalk.

For more ideas, I suggest watching the movie, Amélie. And I also suggest reading this piece that shows you 10 small ways to make the world a better place.

(Photo credit: Young Adult Woman and Man Holding Emoticons via Shutterstock)

Courtney Johnston is a lifestyle writer and the creator of The Rule Breaker's Club, a slice of the web all about sticking it to the status quo. She has spent 2 years in Paris and is passionate about happiness and cheap wine (the two often go hand in hand). You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

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