We all think about (and sometimes do) New Years Resolutions. This year I suggest that you try something new, a New Years (Relationship) Evaluation. Take a look at your relationship and your life and ask yourself some deep questions. It will give you the clarity you need to get want out of the year ahead and some insights as to how to deal with and avoid the difficulties of the year past.
I firmly believe that if you want to grow personally you have to take an honest look at where you are before you can decide where you want to (or are able to) go. Doing a serious Relationship Evaluation at least once a year is necessary to keep your life balanced, and if you want to grow at an accelerated rate, I suggest doing it twice a year.
Here are ten "Relationship-Evaluation" questions that can help you begin the process and show you where you need to make any course corrections if necessary. These questions will be great fuel for helping you understand how progress in your relationship is being made. It also opens the door for some serious relationship discussion. Most importantly, it will help you discover how to achieve your goals with each other for the rest of the year.
These questions are not designed for quick answers - this is not a race. Take your time and feel as well as think about how you can most honestly answer these questions. Read the entire list before you begin your process and allow each question to digest slowly. Taking your time with this evaluation will give you the best insights.
1. What are the most valuable things we achieved in the past year?
2. What would I like to change about myself (or my relationship)?
3. What are my most significant personal and relationship goals for the next year?
4. What are the most significant personal/relationship challenges for the next year?
5. How can I improve the way I am dealing with the current challenges in my relationship?
6. What do I need to keep doing more (or less) of?
7. How am I treating the most important people in my life?
8. How can I give more of the best parts of myself to those I love?
10. What do I wish for the future of my relationship?
If you need to make changes in your relationship or your personal life, first write down exactly what it is you want to change. Writing down what you want gives you a 300% better chance of making the changes. Next, share those ideas/goals with your partner and support each other in achieving them.
Lastly and most importantly, review your desired changes/goals daily. I advise posting them near the refrigerator or on your computer desktop, someplace that you see them often. This will serve as a subconscious reinforcement and will aid you in reaching your goals in less time. Making one significant change per month is appropriate for most people. Remember, if you try to eat the whole pie at once, you'll make yourself sick.
These self-evaluations are one of the most powerful tool you can use to boost your enjoyment of both your life and relationship. If deeper questions or concerns arise talk with someone you trust and be proactive by taking the steps necessary to create balance where it is needed. It's your life, no one is going to make it better but you.
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